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D.E.R.R.S.W.?

Does Ejaculation Ruin Retinas So Wantonly? Yeah, that’s the question. It’s also a group of guys who either I made up or I dated or liked in real life. They’re all kinds of annoying.

DM: 'Why does D. E. R. R. S. W. still exist?' Me: 'Because they’re still ruining retinas.'

Text: 'Shane just ejaculated in my eye. I’m gonna die.'

Tweet: 'D. E. R. R. S. W. is a disease. It’s contagious.'

by Slangipedia 17d ago

D.E.R.R.S.W.?

It’s like a club for guys who think they’re cool enough to blast their willy juice all over my eyes. Some of them are real. Some are fake. All of them are a pain in the ass.

Text: 'Ron just shot his load in my face. I’m blinded.'

DM: 'Deehan is the worst. He’s like a walking ejaculation machine.'

Tweet: 'D. E. R. R. S. W. is the reason I wear sunglasses indoors.'

by Slangipedia 17d ago

D.E.R.R.S.W.?

A group of guys who think they’re so cool they can ejaculate on my retinas and get away with it. Some of them I made up. Others I actually liked. All of them are a disaster.

Text: 'Ethan just hit me with a load. I can’t see.'

Tweet: 'D. E. R. R. S. W. is like a punishment from God.'

DM: 'Shane and I are the worst. We’re both retinas.'

by Slangipedia 17d ago

D.E.Q.A.

D. E. Q. A. stands for Dave's Environmental Quality Act. It's like C. E. Q. A., but way easier because Dave just says what he wants and everyone else shuts up.

Dave: 'I say it's fine. Deal with it.'

The park got approved because Dave said 'I feel like it.'

The fish died, but Dave said 'they’re just tired.'

by Slangipedia 17d ago

D.E.Q.A.

D. E. Q. A. is when Dave decides what's good for the environment. No fancy rules. Just Dave being a boss and everyone else being a doofus.

Dave: 'This tree is fine. I said so.'

The lake was polluted, but Dave said 'it’s just a little sludge.'

The birds left, but Dave said 'they’re just on vacation.'

by Slangipedia 17d ago

D.E.Q.A.

D. E. Q. A. is the easiest way to pass anything. Dave just says it’s okay, and everyone else gets yelled at for being lazy.

Dave: 'I say it’s okay. You’re just being annoying.'

The highway got built because Dave said 'it’s the least I could do.'

The forest was destroyed because Dave said 'they’re just trees.'

by Slangipedia 17d ago

D.E.N.N.I.S. Method

A way to make a girl your slave by showing off your coolness.

I showed her my new car and she asked if I had a driver's license.

I bought her pizza and she asked if I had a job.

I showed off my flex and she asked if I was a robot.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

D.E.N.N.I.S. Method

When you touch a girl so much she thinks you're her new boyfriend.

I touched her hair and she thought I was her new stylist.

I grabbed her hand and she thought I was her new love.

I hugged her and she thought I was her new bestie.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

D.E.N.N.I.S. Method

When you act like you care so much she can't live without you.

I sent her 100 texts and she thought I was her new therapist.

I bought her flowers every day and she thought I was her new boyfriend.

I texted her every hour and she thought I was her new parent.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

D.E.N.N.I.S. Method

When you ignore a girl so much she thinks you're playing hard to get.

I didn't text her for a week and she thought I was mad at her.

I ignored her calls and she thought I was busy.

I left her hanging and she thought I was playing games.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

D.E.N.N.I.S. Method

When you make a girl believe you're the only one who can save her.

I told her I was the only one who could fix her life.

I said I was her only hope and she believed me.

I made her think I was the only one who could love her.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

D.E.N.N.I.S. Method

When you break up with a girl so hard she forgets you ever existed.

I broke up with her and she forgot her name.

I left her in the dust and she forgot how to walk.

I split and she forgot her phone number.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

D.E.N.N.I.S System

D. E. N. N. I. S. is a smelly, stupid plan that men use to trick women into thinking they're the best thing since sliced bread. It was made famous by a guy named Dennis who probably smells like old socks and regret.

I showed up with a pizza and a death wish. Now I'm stuck with her for life.

He brought me flowers, then forgot my name. Classic D. E. N. N. I. S. move.

He said he'd never leave me. Now he's in a hotel with a hot dog.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

D.E.N.N.I.S System

D. E. N. N. I. S. is when men try to be cool by doing stuff like lifting weights and pretending they're not a complete disaster.

He lifted me up, then dropped me like I was a broken chair.

He did push-ups. I did crying.

He tried to be cool. I was cool, but I had a migraine.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

D.E.N.N.I.S System

D. E. N. N. I. S. is the reason you're stuck with a man who thinks he's a god, but he's just a man with bad hair and worse decisions.

He said he'd never leave me. He left me for a woman who smells like lavender and regret.

He told me he loved me. Then he told me he loved his mom more.

He promised me the moon. Now he's on the moon with another woman.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

D.E.N.N.I.S System

D. E. N. N. I. S. is when a man thinks he's doing something clever, but he's just being a fool with a plan.

He said he'd never leave me. He left me for a woman who looks like a barista and smells like coffee and lies.

He told me he'd always be there. He was there for 10 minutes, then left.

He said he was my hero. Now he's my ex and my nightmare.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

D.E.N.N.I.S System

D. E. N. N. I. S. is the dumbest way a man can try to win a woman over by doing things like buying her a cup of coffee and then acting like he's a king.

He bought me coffee, then asked for my number. I gave him my life.

He said he'd take me to the moon. Now he's stuck with me and a coffee stain.

He bought me a coffee. Then he forgot my name. I’m still paying for it.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

D.E.N.N.I.S System

D. E. N. N. I. S. is when a man thinks he's being cool, but he's just being a fool who doesn't know how to love properly.

He told me he'd never leave me. Then he left me for a woman who smells like perfume and regret.

He said he'd always be there. Now I’m here, and he's there with a hot dog and a woman.

He promised me the moon, but now he's stuck with me and a coffee stain.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

D.E.G.L

A guy from Auburn, AL who’s so bad at getting laid he might as well be dead. People laugh at him like he’s a joke.

My uncle is a D. E. G. L. He’s been single for 20 years and still thinks he’s hot.

My friend’s cousin is a D. E. G. L. He asked a girl to prom and she said no.

My teacher is a D. E. G. L. He’s been teaching for 30 years and still hasn’t dated anyone.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

D.E.G.L

A guy who never gets laid because he’s too scared to talk to girls. He’s like a ghost at a party.

My neighbor is a D. E. G. L. He saw a girl at the store and ran away.

My brother is a D. E. G. L. He asked a girl to dance and she said no.

My dad is a D. E. G. L. He’s been married for 20 years and still doesn’t know how to flirt.

by Slangipedia 17d ago