Discover Slang

Dad Spackle

The crummy little bits your dad shoves into the toilet like it’s his personal trash can.

My dad uses the toilet like it’s a dumping ground for his guts.

He left so much spackle, I think the toilet is going to revolt.

I found a spackle bridge in the toilet and it was a total disaster.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad Spackle

The little turd chunks your dad throws in the toilet like it’s a poop trash can.

He poops so much spackle, the toilet is like a poop buffet.

I saw a spackle tsunami in the toilet and it was terrifying.

Dad’s spackle is so bad, it’s like he’s trying to destroy the toilet.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad Shit

When a shit takes so long it feels like you're sitting on a toilet for a whole episode of your dad's favorite show. It's like your dad's butt is stuck in a time warp.

My dad took 23 minutes to shit. I got a text: 'I’m still shitting. You’re still waiting.'

He sat on the toilet for 20 minutes. I asked him what was wrong. He said, 'I’m trying to shit like my dad.'

He shits so long, he could be a superhero. He’s the Toilet Titan.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad Shit

A dad who leaves his kid at 1 year old and acts like it’s the best decision ever. He’s like a broken toy you throw in the trash.

Left my kid at 1 year old. I got a text: 'I’m going to the mall. Don’t bother me.'

He left my kid at 1 year old and called me a 'boring mother.'

He left my kid at 1 and said, 'I’m going to be cool. You’re going to be boring.'

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad Shit

A dad who fathers a kid but acts like he's not even related. He doesn’t help, doesn’t pay, and spends more time with his new girlfriend who’s a total mess.

He didn’t pay child support and said, 'I’m with my new girlfriend. She’s better than you.'

He didn’t show up for my birthday and said, 'I’m with my new girlfriend. She’s better than you.'

He didn’t help me with math and said, 'I’m with my new girlfriend. She’s better than you.'

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad Shit

A guy who gives his sperm to a woman and then disappears. He doesn’t even know what his kids are doing. He’s like a ghost who only appears once a year.

He gave his sperm to a woman and never showed up. I got a text: 'I’m busy. I’ll show up next year.'

He gave his sperm to a woman and never came to my birthday. I got a text: 'I’m busy. I’ll show up next year.'

He gave his sperm to a woman and never helped me with math. I got a text: 'I’m busy. I’ll show up next year.'

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad Shit

The worst moment when your girlfriend or boyfriend calls you while you’re fucking their dad. It’s like being caught in the middle of a dumb prank.

My girlfriend called me while I was fucking her dad. She said, 'I’m here. You’re there. You’re both dumb.'

My boyfriend called me while I was fucking his dad. He said, 'You’re both dumb. I’m the only smart one.'

My girlfriend called me while I was fucking her dad. She said, 'You’re both dumb. I’m the only smart one.'

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad Shimmy

That clumsy wobble Dads pull when they’re too chicken to elbow people out of the way.

My dad did the Dad Shimmy in the grocery store and bumped into a kid’s juice box. It exploded. Classic.

He tried to do the Dad Shimmy through the mall and got stuck between two teenagers. He looked like a confused turtle.

At the buffet, my dad did the Dad Shimmy and accidentally grabbed a whole chicken. No one knows why.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad Shimmy

The sad dance Dads do when they’re too scared to push people but still want to move.

My dad did the Dad Shimmy in the airport and got stuck behind a group of kids. He looked like he was trying to apologize to the walls.

He did the Dad Shimmy in the theater and almost knocked over a soda. It was a disaster.

At the concert, my dad did the Dad Shimmy and ended up blocking the view of the whole row. Everyone hated him.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad Shimmy

When Dads wiggle like a fish out of water just to avoid touching someone.

My dad did the Dad Shimmy in the grocery line and almost fell over. He looked like a confused fish.

He did the Dad Shimmy in the mall and bumped into a display. It went flying.

At the park, my dad did the Dad Shimmy and got stuck between two kids. He looked like he was in a cage.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad Shimmy

The weird wiggle Dads do when they’re too weak to fight but still want to move.

My dad did the Dad Shimmy in the subway and bumped into a woman’s coffee. It spilled everywhere.

He did the Dad Shimmy in the store and got stuck between two shopping carts. He looked like he was in a fight.

At the restaurant, my dad did the Dad Shimmy and ended up knocking over a table. It was chaos.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad Shimmy

The awkward shake Dads do when they’re too shy to push people but still want to get through.

My dad did the Dad Shimmy in the movie theater and almost knocked over the screen. Everyone gasped.

He did the Dad Shimmy in the gym and got stuck between two guys. He looked like he was being squeezed.

At the party, my dad did the Dad Shimmy and ended up blocking the dance floor. No one was happy.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad Shimmy

When Dads wobble like a drunk man trying to get through a crowd without getting yelled at.

My dad did the Dad Shimmy in the grocery store and bumped into a kid’s backpack. It spilled everywhere.

He did the Dad Shimmy in the mall and got stuck between two kids. He looked like a confused man.

At the concert, my dad did the Dad Shimmy and ended up blocking the view of the whole crowd. No one liked it.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad Share

You want to talk to Dad but Mom is like a gatekeeper. She’s the bouncer and you’re the drunk guy at the door.

'Hey Dad, I got a job!' 'Wait, you went through Mom first?' 'Yeah, she said you’d be mad if I skipped her.'

'Can I tell Dad I failed math?' 'Nope. Tell me first. I’ll tell him if I feel like it.'

'Dad, I got a tattoo!' 'You’re not telling me that through Mom again.'

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad Share

You try to text Dad but Mom texts you back like she’s the boss. It’s like she’s intercepting your messages just to annoy you.

'Dad, I’m coming over!' 'Wait, why didn’t you ask me first?' 'You’re the boss.'

'Hey Dad, I’m rich!' 'Wait, why did you go through Mom?' 'She said you’d yell at me if I skipped her.'

'I’m getting a pet!' 'Wait, I didn’t know about this until Mom told me.'

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad Share

You want to tell Dad something but Mom is like a filter. She adds her own nonsense before it even gets to him.

'Dad, I got a D in math!' 'Wait, why did you go through Mom?' 'She said you’d throw a fit if I didn’t tell you through her.'

'Dad, I’m getting a girlfriend!' 'Wait, why didn’t you tell me first?' 'She said you’d hate me if I skipped her.'

'Dad, I got a new phone!' 'Wait, why did you go through Mom?' 'She said you’d yell at me if I didn’t tell you through her.'

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad Scent

The smelly aura of your dad that smells like old socks, beer, and regret. It’s the reason you wake up in the middle of the night screaming.

My dad’s scent is like a haunted basement. I can smell it from the other side of the house.

I could identify my dad by his scent from 10 feet away. It’s like a personal attack.

That dad scent is stronger than my mom’s perfume. It’s like he rolled in a dumpster and then forgot to shower.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad Scent

The scent of your dad after he’s been drinking, fighting, and possibly eating a whole pizza by himself. It’s a smell that makes you want to run away.

Every time my dad comes home, it’s like the whole house gets a bad smell. It’s like he’s been in a war.

That dad scent is like walking into a gym after a boxing match. I want to breathe through a mask.

My dad’s scent is so strong, it’s like he’s been in a man cave for a week.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad Scent

The smell that hits you like a truck when you see your dad. It’s like he’s been in a trash can, drank a whole bottle of whiskey, and forgot to brush his teeth.

I walked into the room and my dad was there. I could smell him before I saw him. It was like a smell tsunami.

My dad’s scent is like being in a room with a bunch of old men who all forgot to shower.

I had to hold my breath when my dad walked in. His scent is like a smell bomb.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad Save

A desperate last-minute move to stop something from getting crushed. Usually happens when a kid is in the way. Dads do it most, but anyone with a brain can do it too.

My dad lunged across the street to save me from being hit by a bus. I was just trying to get a Hot Pocket.

Uncle Joe tackled the dog before it ate my mom’s hair. She was wearing it like a crown.

My cousin saved my little brother from falling into the pool. He was too busy staring at the bottom of the pool like it was a dating app.

by Slangipedia 17d ago