When a kid who couldn’t go to the bar for years finally gets to drink like a beast and ends up looking like a drunk dad who forgot what a hangover is. He drinks so much, he probably forgot his own kid’s name.
My cousin drank 12 shots and cried about his ex at the bar. Looks like a dad who forgot his kid’s birthday.
My uncle drank so much, he said he was going to be a dad again. He’s 50.
I went to the bar and my dad showed up drunk and said he was there for ‘dad reasons’.
When your dad doesn’t like your relationship and tries to make your partner’s dad hate you. It goes from ‘meh’ to ‘you’re not allowed to see your kid’.
My dad told my girlfriend’s dad I was a bad influence. He got banned.
My girlfriend’s dad didn’t like me, and now I’m banned from seeing her.
My dad went full-on ‘you’re not allowed to see your kid’ because he didn’t like me.
When you think your country is the best and everyone else is trash. You say stuff like ‘We don’t do that’ and ‘We’re not terrorists’ when you clearly are.
My cousin said ‘We’re not terrorists’ and then he attacked a taco truck.
My brother thinks his country is the best and everyone else is stupid.
My dad said ‘We don’t do that’ but he does the worst things.
When your dad or some guy gives you a lecture because you're starting to look like you're about to get a job and not just play video games and smell like a gym sock.
Dad: 'You're getting a little bigger. You're gonna need to start acting like a man and not just run from girls.'
Your uncle: 'You're gonna be a man someday. You better start acting like one now and not just smell like a gym sock.'
Your friend's dad: 'You're growing up! You're gonna need to start acting like a man and not just play video games.'
When someone flips out because a social justice issue is brought up like it's the 1970s and your old man is yelling at you for wearing a hat inside. They use words that sound nice but are full of hate, throw around tiny racist insults, and make fun of people like they're from another planet. It’s like being yelled at by a man who thinks he’s the king of the world.
'You’re not even a real person!' said my dad when I called him out for saying 'queer' like it was a curse.
'I didn’t mean to be racist, I just wanted to make a point!' said my uncle after he called my friend a ‘foreigner’ for no reason.
My neighbor called my friend ‘a lazy Mexican’ when he asked for a raise. It was like watching a bad movie.
When you copy your granddad’s moves, like he’s the king of cool. It’s like being a mini version of him, but you still think you’re the main character. You do everything he does, even when you’re clearly not as cool.
'I’m doing this like my granddad!' said my cousin when he did a backflip in the park like he was 10.
My uncle called me ‘oppa’ when I did a dance move he saw on TikTok. It was weird and confusing.
My dad tried to do the same karate move my granddad did in the 80s. It looked like he was trying to punch a ghost.
Stories your dad tells to make you feel like you're the worst kid ever compared to how awesome he was as a kid. He probably didn't even have to deal with a fart in the classroom.
My dad said he got kicked out of school for punching a teacher who called him a 'fart bag.'
He told me he had to fight three guys in a hallway to get his lunch back.
He claimed he got a tattoo of a chicken on his leg because he was 'too cool for school.'