Dad Shit

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#toilet titan#dad shits#long shits

4 views · Added 17d ago · 5 definitions

1
When a shit takes so long it feels like you're sitting on a toilet for a whole episode of your dad's favorite show. It's like your dad's butt is stuck in a time warp.
My dad took 23 minutes to shit. I got a text: 'I’m still shitting. You’re still waiting.'
He sat on the toilet for 20 minutes. I asked him what was wrong. He said, 'I’m trying to shit like my dad.'
He shits so long, he could be a superhero. He’s the Toilet Titan.
by Slangipedia 15d ago
2
A dad who leaves his kid at 1 year old and acts like it’s the best decision ever. He’s like a broken toy you throw in the trash.
Left my kid at 1 year old. I got a text: 'I’m going to the mall. Don’t bother me.'
He left my kid at 1 year old and called me a 'boring mother.'
He left my kid at 1 and said, 'I’m going to be cool. You’re going to be boring.'
by Slangipedia 15d ago
3
A dad who fathers a kid but acts like he's not even related. He doesn’t help, doesn’t pay, and spends more time with his new girlfriend who’s a total mess.
He didn’t pay child support and said, 'I’m with my new girlfriend. She’s better than you.'
He didn’t show up for my birthday and said, 'I’m with my new girlfriend. She’s better than you.'
He didn’t help me with math and said, 'I’m with my new girlfriend. She’s better than you.'
by Slangipedia 15d ago
4
A guy who gives his sperm to a woman and then disappears. He doesn’t even know what his kids are doing. He’s like a ghost who only appears once a year.
He gave his sperm to a woman and never showed up. I got a text: 'I’m busy. I’ll show up next year.'
He gave his sperm to a woman and never came to my birthday. I got a text: 'I’m busy. I’ll show up next year.'
He gave his sperm to a woman and never helped me with math. I got a text: 'I’m busy. I’ll show up next year.'
by Slangipedia 15d ago
5
The worst moment when your girlfriend or boyfriend calls you while you’re fucking their dad. It’s like being caught in the middle of a dumb prank.
My girlfriend called me while I was fucking her dad. She said, 'I’m here. You’re there. You’re both dumb.'
My boyfriend called me while I was fucking his dad. He said, 'You’re both dumb. I’m the only smart one.'
My girlfriend called me while I was fucking her dad. She said, 'You’re both dumb. I’m the only smart one.'
by Slangipedia 15d ago
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