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A Josh Parker
A Josh Parker is a Bristolian idiot who’s too poor to buy decent shampoo and has hair so greasy it looks like it was dipped in a paint can. He’s too thick to tell right from wrong and hides behind other useless peons like they’re his own personal meat shields.
My mate Dave is a Josh Parker. He once tried to steal a sandwich and got caught by the shopkeeper, who looked like he was about to cry.
I saw a Josh Parker fighting over a single lollipop in the park. It was like watching two brain-dead raccoons argue.
My teacher called me a Josh Parker because I forgot my homework and tried to blame my dog.
by Slangipedia 18d ago
A Josh Parker
A Josh Parker is a lanky, redneck type from Arkansas who looks like he’s been dragged through a mud pit. He’s not much to look at, but when he’s in bed, he’s like a fully grown bull, massive and ready to rumble.
My cousin Bob is a Josh Parker. He’s so big, he once slept in my dad’s bed and nearly crushed the mattress.
I dated a Josh Parker once. He ate three pizzas for dinner and still managed to fit into his jeans.
My neighbor is a Josh Parker. He came to my house to borrow a cup of sugar and ended up eating my entire fridge.
by Slangipedia 18d ago
A Josh Morton
A Josh Morton acts all friendly until he turns into a backstabbing piece of trash. He also has a weird obsession with dogs and probably thinks they’re hot.
He asked me to help him with his project, then copied my work and got an A while I got a D.
He said he’d come to my birthday, but he was at the dog park with his dog, eating a burger.
He told me he’d be my friend forever, then blocked me on social media because I laughed at his bad joke.
by Slangipedia 18d ago
A Josh Morton
A Josh Morton is like a fake friend who’ll chew you up and spit you out. Plus, he’s got a weird crush on dogs, like they’re the only cool thing in the world.
He said he’d be my partner in crime, then told the teacher I cheated on the test.
He texted me to hang out, then went to the dog park instead.
He asked me for help with his math homework, then told everyone I was a bad friend.
by Slangipedia 18d ago
A Josh Morton
A Josh Morton is a sneaky, dirty little snake who’ll stab you in the back just to get what he wants. And he’s got a weird thing for dogs, like they’re the only ones who understand him.
He told me he’d be my best friend, then told the whole class I was a nerd.
He said he’d help me with my project, then took all the credit and got an A.
He asked me to be his lab partner, then left me hanging when he got a better lab partner.
by Slangipedia 18d ago
A Josh McD
When you leave a spot like it’s on fire and you’re the only one who can put it out
I was right there, and he just took off like I was going to eat his lunch.
Left the couch like it was the last one on Earth and he had to save it.
He left the game before it even ended, like he had a date with the toilet.
by Slangipedia 18d ago
A Josh McD
When you’re supposed to be in one place but you’re somewhere else, probably with snacks
He was supposed to be here for the whole party, but he was at the pizza place the whole time.
Left the room to get chips and never came back.
He was at the store buying candy instead of helping us.
by Slangipedia 18d ago
A Josh McD
When you don’t stick around like you’re the main event
He left before the final round, like he wasn’t even playing.
He ditched the group to go hang out with someone else.
He walked out mid-sentence like he was getting a promotion.
by Slangipedia 18d ago
A Josh McD
When you’re supposed to be there, but you’re somewhere else, probably because you’re lazy
He left the meeting to go take a nap.
He walked out before the game started because he was tired.
He was supposed to be there, but he was on his phone the whole time.
by Slangipedia 18d ago
A Josh McD
When you're supposed to be there but you're not, like you're trying to hide
He left the room like he was being chased by a monster.
He slipped out the back like he didn’t want anyone to see him.
He vanished before the final question, like he was trying to escape.
by Slangipedia 18d ago
A Josh Eckerle
A person who looks like they’ve been in a fight with a hedge trimmer and a bad decision, but they’re just a kid with a full-time job and a part-time job that doesn’t know it’s being cheated on.
DM: 'Why are you still alive? You look like a raccoon that got hit by a bus.'
Text: 'You’re older than my grandma and still don’t know how to use a coffee maker.'
Tweet: 'This guy is 16 and has more responsibilities than my dad.'
by Slangipedia 18d ago
A Josh Eckerle
When you’re too lazy to go to the barber but still manage to look like you got in a wrestling match with a hair dryer.
Text: 'I forgot my haircut so hard I forgot my own name.'
Tweet: 'My hair looks like a tornado had a party in my head.'
DM: 'I went to the barber and came back looking like a reject from a horror movie.'
by Slangipedia 18d ago
A Josef
A Josef is when you lose your keys so much it feels like your keys are out to get you. Like every week you swear you're gonna remember where you put them, but you don't.
I lost my keys again. I think they're hiding from me now.
I had to reenter my apartment because I lost my keys. Again.
My keys are like my ex. They never stay with me.
by Slangipedia 18d ago
A Josef
A Josef is a walking masterpiece of charm and mess. He talks you into giving him everything he wants, but he’s also the type to cry over a broken heart and sing off-key at a karaoke bar.
He made me buy him pizza with just a smile and a wink.
He cried at a movie, then sang the theme song badly at a karaoke bar.
He wrote me a love letter but then broke my heart.
by Slangipedia 18d ago
A Josef
A Josef has a meaty meat and a brain that could outthink a goat. He’s the type of guy who makes you look at him like he’s a god.
That guy in blue jeans has a cock so big it could beat a goat at chess.
He walked in wearing blue jeans and I was instantly distracted.
He’s got the brain of a genius and the cock of a legend.
by Slangipedia 18d ago
A Josef
A Josef is a dreamy boy with a cock that’s so big it looks like it belongs in a superhero movie. He’s just... perfect.
He walks in wearing blue jeans and I’m like, 'why are you so dreamy?"
He’s got that cock and that smile. I’m in love.
He’s like a superhero in tight blue jeans.
by Slangipedia 18d ago
A Josef
A Josef is a king with a killer heart. He’s got the power to kill, but he’s also the type to stick with his crew and never betray them.
He’s got the heart of a king and the temper of a warrior.
He’d kill for his brothers but would never leave them behind.
He’s like a king who still remembers his friends.
by Slangipedia 18d ago
A Josef
A Josef is the bad boy who writes you love letters but breaks your heart. He’s the kind of guy who makes you fall for him even though he’s a mess.
He acts like a bad boy but writes me love letters at 3 a. m.
He broke my heart but I still love him.
He’s the kind of guy who makes you fall in love with him even when he’s being a jerk.
by Slangipedia 18d ago
A Josef
A Josef is a total legend who’s good at everything and everyone loves him. He’s like a god who’s just really good at life.
He’s the type of guy who’s good at everything and everyone loves him.
He’s a god in human form who’s just really good at life.
He’s the total legend who makes everything easy.
by Slangipedia 18d ago
A Jore
A Jore is a janitor so good, he could clean a prison with just a mop and a curse. He doesn’t stop cleaning unless it’s Sunday, and he’ll probably yell at you for it. He’s got the power of 15 normie jannies, and if you don’t watch him, he’ll sleep with your boss.
I saw A Jore clean my office. I hired him. Then I got fired because he slept with my boss.
A Jore showed up at my house with a mop and a swear. I now live in a clean house and a dirty marriage.
My kid’s teacher said A Jore cleaned the school. I believed him. Now I live in a clean school and a dirty life.
by Slangipedia 18d ago
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