A tiny, green school in the middle of nowhere, where you get stuck with 350 classmates in some weird portable buildings that look like they were built by a madman. You only have four classes, each six hours long, and you switch them after Christmas, like it's some kind of prison break.
"Why do you go to East Mountain?" "Because I'm stuck with 20 people in a portable building that smells like wet socks."
My friend said East Mountain is like a cult, but I think it's just a bunch of people who don't know what a clique is.
I'm going to East Mountain next year, and I swear if I have to sit in a Tuff Shed for four years, I'm gonna scream.
This school is the worst thing that ever happened to you. It eats your time, your sanity, and your lunch money. If you're not careful, it'll swallow you whole and you'll never escape.
East Mountain is the reason I failed math. It's like the school is trying to kill me.
I told my friend I was going to East Mountain, and now I have to live with the shame.
East Mountain is like being stuck in a wormhole that only lets you out after four years.
A tiny town with two lousy delis and a gas station. It's full of losers, druggies, and girls who think they're hot because they wear Abercrombie shirts.
'Why do we go to East Moriches?' 'Because it's the only place with two delis and a lot of people who smoke weed.'
My brother got caught selling weed at the gas station. Now he's known as 'The Deli Dude.'
My teacher got fired because she tried to teach math while high.
A trashy town with a deli run by a stupid person. The school is terrible. The teachers are even worse. There’s nothing to do but watch the deli lady yell at everyone.
'Why do we live here?' 'Because the deli lady hates me.'
My teacher gave me a D because I told her she looked like a chicken.
There’s nothing to do but eat deli sandwiches and get high.
East Moline is a town where rich white kids live on top of the hill in fancy houses, and poor kids of color live below the hill in broken houses that used to be nice. It's called Watertown for some stupid reason.
My cousin got caught speeding on Hill Street and got a ticket from a cop who looked like he just woke up.
My friend tried to run from the cops and ended up in the ditch with a broken bottle.
My little brother got caught drinking at McDonald’s and got kicked out.
East Moline has a high school called UT, which is the worst name ever. It's where all the slUTs go. The school is so boring, you can walk around for hours and end up at McDonald’s.
My teacher called me a slUT because I didn't do my homework.
I walked around for 2 hours and ended up at McDonald’s eating fries.
My friend tried to skip school and got caught by a cop.
East Moline is the worst place on Earth. There’s nothing fun to do. You can either go to the pool in the summer or just drink and smoke with your friends.
I went to the pool and got sunburned like a lobster.
I drank a whole bottle of soda and passed out in the hallway.
I smoked pot with my friend and got caught by the principal.
East Mims is a place where the cool kids hang out, but it also has preachers who yell too much and gangstas who think they're too good for the rest of us.
My cousin got caught smoking weed near the river and got yelled at by a preacher.
I saw a gangsta wearing a hat that said 'I don’t need no preacher's approval.'
My grandma said the preacher was so loud, even the chickens got scared.