Discover Slang

When your dad doesn’t want to go home because he thinks he’s still got it and doesn’t want to admit he’s slowing down.

Dad: 'I’m not slowing down. I’m just taking a break.'

Dad: 'I’m not going home. I’m still got it.'

Dad: 'I’m not going home. I’m still moving.'

A dad who's got zero junk and zero guts. He’s the kind of guy who would let his kid get beat up just so he could save face and not look like a total failure.

Dad-Vag ran away from the school bully like a scared little chicken.

He let me get grounded just because he was too chicken to argue with my mom.

He cried when the pizza delivery guy gave him the wrong order.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad-Vag

A dad who’s nothing but a big, smelly, lazy ass. He’s the reason your life is a mess and your allowance is always late.

Dad-Vag slept through my entire birthday party and woke up just in time to eat the cake.

He called me a ‘failure’ because he couldn’t even tie his own shoes.

He took the last slice of pizza and left me with a crumb.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad-Molested

I KNEW THAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN. I HAD A FREAKING VISION. YOU ARE A TOTAL DUMBASS.

I knew you were gonna mess this up. I had a vision. You're a total dumbass.

I saw this coming. I had a vision. You're a total dumbass.

I knew that was gonna happen. I had a vision. You're a total dumbass.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad-Molested

I TOLD YOU SO. I SAID IT BEFORE. I MAY AS WELL KISS THE FLOOR.

I told you so. I said it before. I may as well kiss the floor.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad-Molested

I WAS RIGHT ON THE MONEY. YOU JUST CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH.

I was right on the money. You just can't handle the truth.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad-Molested

I HAD IT ALL FIGURED OUT. YOU'RE JUST A FREAKING IDIOT.

I had it all figured out. You're just a freaking idiot.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad-Molested

I KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN. YOU'RE A TOTAL DISGRACE.

I knew this was going to happen. You're a total disgrace.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad-Molested

I TOLD YOU SO. I MAY AS WELL DIE FROM THE PAIN.

I told you so. I may as well die from the pain.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad-Hard

When you think having 10 IPAs in one night is a badge of honor, and you’re too proud to admit you’re gonna puke.

I had 10 IPAs and still texted my mom about it. She said I was a disgrace.

He passed out on the couch, but still managed to text his dad: 'I’m not done yet.'

She drank so much she called her dad ‘Sir’ and he said, 'You’re gonna regret that.'

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad-Hard

A dad who thinks he’s the only one who can boss you around, and he’ll use his power to make your life miserable if you don’t do what he says.

He squeezed my arm so hard I thought it was gonna fall off. He said, 'You’re lucky I’m not your mom.'

He called me at 2 a. m. because I stayed out too late. I was too scared to answer.

He sent me a note that said, 'You’re dead to me.' I got home and he was eating cereal like nothing happened.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad-Hard

A dad who shows up at your school to drag you out in front of everyone, just because you did something stupid.

He showed up at my school and said, 'You’re coming home with me right now.'

He picked me up after I skipped class and drove in silence for 30 minutes.

He came to my game and told my teacher, 'I’m taking him home.' I was too embarrassed to look at anyone.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad-Fucker

A guy who screws his dad so hard he thinks he's the king of the world. He acts like a total dipstick, always trying to cover up his shame by saying he has a girlfriend, but everyone knows he's just a faggot who loves his dad’s cock more than anything.

My buddy Dave says he has a girlfriend, but I know he’s just getting his dad’s cock every night.

He wears glitter and cries when he loses at Mario Kart. Classic dad-fucker.

He smells like old socks and farts. I swear he eats his dad’s farts for breakfast.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad-Fucker

A dad-fucker is someone who shoves his face up his dad’s ass so deep he thinks he’s gonna die. He’s the weakest link in the group, always trying to be cool by saying he’s got a girlfriend, but it’s just a cover for his dad-fucking ways.

He said he has a girlfriend, but I saw him walking out of his dad’s room with a sandwich in his hand.

He cried when he dropped his phone. That’s a dad-fucker.

He smells like a gym sock that’s been in a trash can for a year.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad, I’m hungry

A dad who calls his kid 'Hungry' and laughs like he just won the lottery when the kid is too fat to move and just wants a snack.

Dad: 'Hey Hungry, wanna eat?' Kid: 'I’m not Hungry, I’m just tired.' Dad: 'Yeah, you’re really hungry.'

Dad: 'I named you Hungry because you eat like a horse.' Kid: 'I eat like a horse because you feed me like a horse.'

Dad: 'Hungry, you’re gonna eat this whole plate.' Kid: 'I’m not Hungry, I’m just trying to survive.'

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad, I’m hungry

When a dad uses the kid's hunger as a punchline and makes the kid feel like he's the punchline.

Dad: 'Why are you crying?' Kid: 'I’m hungry.' Dad: 'That’s not a reason to cry.'

Kid: 'Dad, I’m hungry.' Dad: 'Yeah, I named you Hungry for a reason.'

Dad: 'You’re not hungry, you’re just lazy.' Kid: 'I’m not lazy, I’m just not fed.'

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad, I’m hungry

A kid who is starving and the dad is just using the kid’s hunger as a joke and acting like he’s the funniest man alive.

Dad: 'You’re hungry? I thought you were just mad.' Kid: 'I’m not mad, I’m hungry.'

Kid: 'Dad, I’m hungry.' Dad: 'I know, that’s why I named you Hungry.'

Dad: 'You’re not hungry, you’re just full of problems.' Kid: 'I’m full of problems and I’m hungry.'

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad'ween

The only day people wear stupid dad clothes and scream at each other for candy like feral animals.

My dad wore a fake mustache and a wig and tried to fight Mr. Thompson like he was a superhero.

I dressed up as my dad and my brother dressed up as his dad and we had a full-on war over a bag of Skittles.

My neighbor dressed up as a bald dad and my dad dressed up as a fat dad and they fought over a single Kit Kat.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad'ween

When you turn into your dad and your neighbor turns into their dad and you beat each other up for snacks.

I turned into my dad and my neighbor turned into their dad and we had a full-on battle for a bag of M&Ms.

My dad came out like he was a ninja dad and my neighbor came out like he was a pirate dad and they started a fight over a bag of candy corn.

I dressed up like my dad and my neighbor dressed up like their dad and they started a full-blown war over a single Snickers bar.

by Slangipedia 17d ago

Dad'ween

The day your dad and your neighbor's dad come out and fight like they're in a candy bar commercial.

My dad and my neighbor’s dad came out like they were in a commercial and fought over a bag of candy.

My dad came out like he was in a commercial and my neighbor’s dad came out like he was in a commercial and they started a full-blown war over a bag of gummies.

My dad and my neighbor's dad came out like they were in a commercial and fought over a single bag of candy.

by Slangipedia 17d ago