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Early Man
A half-wit hero who shows up way too early and can’t be bothered to actually stop the crime until everyone else has already given up.
He showed up before the fight even started and then took a 2-hour break to eat a sandwich.
Early Man got there before the villain did and then spent the whole day picking his nose.
He showed up before the crime even happened and then took a 5-hour nap on the crime scene.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Early Man
A hero who gets there before the crime even happens and then acts like he’s doing something important while the criminals do all the work.
Early Man showed up before the robbery even started and spent the whole time arguing with a pigeon.
He was there before the villain showed up and then took a 4-hour nap in the middle of the street.
Early Man showed up way before the crime happened and then took a 3-hour break to eat a taco.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Early Log Smokes the Log
A showdown between two dudes where they try to make each other blow their load first using their hands. The one who loses has to suck the winner's log until they come!
Log Smokes the Log is just two guys trying to out-finger each other.
I lost Log Smokes the Log because I couldn’t hold it anymore.
Log Smokes the Log is the worst when you're the one doing the sucking.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Early Log Smokes the Log
Two guys fighting with their hands to see who can make the other cum first. The loser has to take a long, hard suck until the winner comes!
Log Smokes the Log is like a finger wrestling match, but with cum.
I lost Log Smokes the Log and had to suck for 10 minutes.
Log Smokes the Log is the only time I ever wanted to win.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Early Log Smokes the Log
A dirty contest where two men try to make each other blow their load first. The loser has to suck the winner’s log until they come!
Log Smokes the Log is just two guys trying to be the first to cum.
I lost Log Smokes the Log and had to suck like a dog.
Log Smokes the Log is the most embarrassing thing ever.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Early Life
A fancy way to say someone's backstory, like a wiki page for a loser who thinks they're famous
Check out his early life, it's just a 500-word essay about how he got kicked out of 3 schools.
Her early life is basically a Wikipedia page for someone who never left their mom's basement.
Early life is just a fancy way of saying 'here's why this person is a failure'.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Early Life
My opinion on my life, which is that I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm too lazy to fix it
Early life is just me thinking I'm cool, but I'm actually a mess.
In early life I thought I was a genius, now I know I'm just a dumb kid.
Early life is like my brain saying 'I know everything' while my body says 'I don't know anything'.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Early Life
A sneaky way to call someone a Jew by acting like they're a Wikipedia nerd, like they're trying to hide their real identity
Early life is just a dog whistle for antisemitism, like someone is trying to say 'Jew' without actually saying it.
They called me a 'wiki nerd', that's just a fancy way of saying 'you're a Jew, you loser.'
Early life is like a secret code for people who hate Jews but don't want to be called bigots.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Early Life
A fake album that's supposed to drop soon, but it's just a joke from a twink who thinks he's a star
Early life is just a fake album by that twink, no one cares.
They said the album is dropping, but it's just a joke from that femboy.
Early life is like a fake album that no one wanted, but everyone still talks about.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Early June
Early June is when normal people start their summer plans. But Tyler Joseph? He’s still in pajamas, eating cereal for dinner, and thinks 'early June' means 'any time before I get bored.'
'Early June? I’ve been ready since March.', Tyler Joseph, 2 AM, still in his socks
'I’m not late. I’m just early June.', Tyler Joseph, 3 days after June started
'Early June is just a fancy way of saying 'I haven’t done anything yet.', Tyler Joseph, 10th of June, still in bed
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Early June
Early June is like the first few days of summer. For most people. For Tyler Joseph, it’s just a lie he tells himself so he doesn’t have to leave his room.
'Early June? That’s when I start my summer vacation. Which is right now. In my pajamas.', Tyler Joseph, 1st of June
'Early June is just a fancy word for 'I’m not ready yet.', Tyler Joseph, 5th of June
'Early June? That’s just a lie. I’m still in June, so I’m not late.', Tyler Joseph, 8th of June, still in bed
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Early June
Early June is when most people start to get excited. Tyler Joseph? He’s still arguing with his cereal about the meaning of 'early.'
'Early June? That’s when I start my summer vacation. Which is now. In my socks.', Tyler Joseph, 2nd of June
'Early June is just a fancy word for 'I didn’t wake up yet.', Tyler Joseph, 4th of June
'Early June is when I start my summer. Which is now. In my pajamas.', Tyler Joseph, 6th of June
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Early Grave Management/ E.G.M
Early Grave Management is when you get killed before the game ends because you're too stupid to stay alive. It's like dying in the first round of a fight you weren't even in.
I got E. G. M'd by a guy with a knife and a bad haircut.
She died before the boss even showed up. Classic E. G. M.
He got E. G. M'd by a kid who just started playing.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Early Grave Management/ E.G.M
E. G. M is when you're so bad at the game you don't even make it to the end. It's like you got hit by a truck before the match even started.
He got E. G. M'd by a guy who was wearing a hat and had no idea what he was doing.
She got E. G. M'd by a guy who was still learning how to breathe.
He died before the first round even began. That's E. G. M.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Early Grave Management/ E.G.M
E. G. M is when you're so clueless you die before anyone even notices you. It's like you walked into a fight and immediately got hit by a brick wall.
He got E. G. M'd by a guy who didn't know how to hold a weapon.
She died before the match even started. That's E. G. M.
He got E. G. M'd by a guy who was still figuring out how to move.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Early Grave Management/ E.G.M
E. G. M is when you're so bad you don't even last five seconds. It's like you were hit by a bus and didn't even know it.
He got E. G. M'd by a guy who was still trying to figure out the controls.
She got E. G. M'd by a guy who was wearing pajamas and had no idea what was happening.
He died before the first enemy even showed up. That's E. G. M.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Early Grave Management/ E.G.M
E. G. M is when you're so useless you die before the match even starts. It's like you were already dead when you walked in.
He got E. G. M'd by a guy who was still learning how to stand up.
She got E. G. M'd by a guy who had no idea what he was doing.
He got E. G. M'd by a guy who was still trying to figure out the map.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Early Grave Management/ E.G.M
E. G. M is when you're so bad you don't even make it to the second round. It's like you got hit by a truck before the fight even started.
He got E. G. M'd by a guy who was still trying to figure out how to move.
She got E. G. M'd by a guy who was wearing a hat and had no idea what he was doing.
He got E. G. M'd by a guy who was still trying to figure out how to breathe.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Early Game
Early game is when you hope the gods of luck smile on you for once.
I got a 100% speedrun in 2 minutes, then early game hit me like a truck.
Early game is when you pray to the RNG gods and they laugh in your face.
I started the game with a sword and a hope. Early game took both.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Early Game
Early game is like being stuck in a toilet with no toilet paper and a broken flush.
Early game is when you get a sword that looks cool but hits like a baby's butt.
I thought I was ready. Early game said, 'You’re not.'
Early game is the reason I still have a headache from my first speedrun.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
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