Early Man

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A lousy hero who shows up way before a crime even happens and then takes forever to mess it up because he’s too busy being a waste of time.

Early Man showed up 12 hours before the bank heist and spent 8 of them arguing with a squirrel.

He arrived at the crime scene before the criminals even had coffee.

Early Man showed up before the robbery started and then took a 3-hour nap in the middle of the street.

A half-wit hero who shows up way too early and can’t be bothered to actually stop the crime until everyone else has already given up.

He showed up before the fight even started and then took a 2-hour break to eat a sandwich.

Early Man got there before the villain did and then spent the whole day picking his nose.

He showed up before the crime even happened and then took a 5-hour nap on the crime scene.

A hero who gets there before the crime even happens and then acts like he’s doing something important while the criminals do all the work.

Early Man showed up before the robbery even started and spent the whole time arguing with a pigeon.

He was there before the villain showed up and then took a 4-hour nap in the middle of the street.

Early Man showed up way before the crime happened and then took a 3-hour break to eat a taco.