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The Easter bunny takes a crap in the egg and then throws it at your face while yelling, ‘Merry Shit-tastar!’

The egg hit me in the forehead and I fell over.

My brother laughed so hard, he peed his pants.

The egg was so full of poop, it made my dog run away.

The day Jesus shoves his ass out of a cave and peeks down. If he spots his shadow, he shoves his ass back in and screams for more winter.

"I swear if he sees his shadow, I'm gonna start a snowball fight in July." - @WinterHater99

"Jesus just stared at his shadow like it owed him money." - @ReligiousJokes

"He went back in the cave and yelled, 'I'm not done with you yet!'" - @EasterBragging

by Slangipedia 16d ago

Easter Sunday

Jesus rolls out of his cave to check the weather. If he sees his shadow, he rolls back in and says, 'Not today.'

"He looked at his shadow and said, 'I'm not done with you yet.'" - @EasterFanatic

"Jesus rolled back in like he just got fired." - @WinterIsHere

"He saw his shadow and immediately started a grudge." - @ShadowHater

by Slangipedia 16d ago

Easter Sunday

Jesus sticks his head out of a cave to see if it's sunny. If he sees his shadow, he yells, 'Not today!' and dives back in.

"He yelled 'Not today!' like he was mad at the whole world." - @EasterRant

"Jesus saw his shadow and immediately called a meeting with winter." - @WinterIsHere

"He stuck his head out, saw his shadow, and screamed like he lost his job." - @ShadowRant

by Slangipedia 16d ago

Easter Steamer

A rotten Easter egg sitting on a mountain of crapped-up candy.

My cousin brought an Easter Steamer to the party. It looked like it came out of a toilet.

I found an Easter Steamer in my mom’s purse. It was covered in chocolate and gross.

My brother’s Easter Steamer was so bad, it made the dog run away.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

Easter Steamer

A piece of Easter candy that smells like someone’s butt.

I bit into an Easter Steamer and it tasted like old socks and regret.

My sister’s Easter Steamer was so bad, she threw it at my dad.

The Easter Steamer I got was so gross, I had to eat it with a spoon.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

Easter Steamer

An Easter egg that looks like it was thrown in a pile of poop.

My Easter Steamer was so ugly, I named it ‘Poopface’.

I tried to eat my Easter Steamer, but it was so bad, I cried.

The Easter Steamer I got was so bad, I gave it to my dog, and he threw it up.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

Easter Splooge

When you finally get to blow your load on Easter after giving up your daily wank for Lent.

I’ve been holding it in for 40 days. I’m not holding it in anymore.

That first cumshot after Lent? It’s like heaven.

I came so hard I think I broke my pants.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

Easter Splooge

The glorious explosion of cum you get when you finally stop pretending to be holy.

I gave up my wanking for Lent. Now I’m wanking for Easter.

I came so much I think I peed my pants.

After 40 days of no cum, I cum like a god.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

Easter Splooge

When you let your cum flow free on Easter after being a good boy all of Lent.

I was so good all of Lent. Now I’m bad on Easter.

I came so hard I think my cum made a mess.

I let it all out on Easter like I was never holy.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

Easter Show Bags

Fake boobs that look like they were bought at a secondhand store and then shoved into a bag full of cheap candy and a rubber chicken.

My aunt got an Easter Show Bag and cried when she saw it.

He asked for a bag, got one, and walked out like he’d been insulted.

The kid opened the bag and screamed because it had a lolly and a broken squeaky toy.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

Easter Show Bags

The cheapest, most useless fake tits you can buy, usually found in a bag next to a bag of lollies and a toy that doesn’t work.

She bought one for her husband and called it a ‘gift’.

The bag had a toy duck that just sat there.

He got one for his kid and now he thinks all breasts are made of plastic.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

Easter Show Bags

Plastic bags filled with fake boobs, lollies, and a toy that’s probably broken because it’s from an Easter show.

My friend’s Easter Show Bag had a broken fidget spinner and a lolly that tasted like regret.

She got one and said it was the worst thing she’d ever bought.

He opened it and screamed because the toy was missing a leg.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

Easter Show Bags

Fake boobs you get at Easter shows, usually with a toy and some candy that tastes like it was left in the sun.

She got one and said it was the worst gift ever.

He opened it and found a broken toy and a lolly that tasted like regret.

The bag had a rubber chicken and a fake boob that looked like it had been used by a hundred kids.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

Easter Show Bags

The fake boobs you get at Easter shows, which are only useful if you want to scare kids or make your lunch look sad.

He got one and said it looked like it had been hit by a car.

The bag had a broken toy and a lolly that tasted like it had been left in the sun.

She gave it to her kid and he cried because the toy didn’t work.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

Easter Show Bags

Plastic fake boobs you get at Easter shows, usually with a toy that’s broken and a lolly that tastes like it was left in the sun.

He opened it and screamed because the toy was missing a leg.

The bag had a rubber chicken and a fake boob that looked like it had been used by a hundred kids.

She got one and said it was the worst gift ever.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

Easter Show

A place where your legs feel like they’ve been run over by a truck and your body is basically a stiff noodle

My legs are so sore from the Easter Show, I could’ve walked to the moon and back.

I walked so much I felt like a broken robot at the Easter Show.

After the Easter Show, I looked like I’d been dragged through a ditch by a goat.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

Easter Show

A place where pigs are so loud they might as well be screaming in your face

The pigs at the Easter Show were louder than my brother on a bad day.

I swear the pigs at the Easter Show were trying to break the sound barrier.

The pigs at the Easter Show were like a chorus of angry bacon.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

Easter Show

A fake boob made of cheap plastic, like the kind you get when you win a prize at a carnival and it looks like it was made in a garage

My Easter Show bag looked like it came from a discount bin in a landfill.

I got a ‘fun bag’ that looked like it was made by a drunk kid with a glue gun.

The fake boobs at the Easter Show looked like they were made by a raccoon with a spatula.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

Easter Selfie

A smug photo posted online by a girl showing off her brand-new spring outfit, thinking she's the queen of Easter, even though she's just trying to look like a hot mess while pretending it's a holy day.

Bla bla bla posted a selfie in a barely there dress with the caption 'Happy Easter, bitches.'

My girl @shakira22 posted a pic of her in a crop top and a thigh-high slit, captioned 'Easter is here, and so is my confidence.'

Just saw my cousin post a selfie in a neon pink outfit with the caption 'Happy Easter, you ugly people.'

by Slangipedia 16d ago