Discover Slang

A Jeffreys
A Jeffreys is the guy with the perfect body, the perfect hair, and the perfect attitude. He’s the guy who makes your heart go pitter-patter.
'Jeffrey waved like a retard and I was instantly in love.', @LoveStruck
'He’s the guy who makes everything better, like magic.', @PerfectGuy
'He takes his girlfriend home every night, like a real prince.', @PrinceOfLove
A Jeffrey Pluff
Smelling like a dead raccoon in a sock after you finally decide to do your business.
You come home and your dad is like, 'I think I just died.'
She walked in and said, 'I’m not gonna touch you again unless you shower.'
He passed gas so loud it woke up the neighbor’s dog.
A Jeffrey Pluff
When you forget to clean yourself and then try to act cool in the shower.
He walked in and said, 'I just came from the gym.'
She said, 'I just got back from a date.'
He tried to impress his mom by saying he was 'relaxing.'
A Jeffrey Pluff
The worst kind of surprise when you finally take a shower after weeks of no hygiene.
He took a shower and screamed like he was being stabbed.
She started crying because it felt like her skin was on fire.
He walked out and said, 'I think I just died.'
A Jeff
A Jeff is a goddamn miracle in human form. She’s kind, smart, and hot, but she can also make your life a living hell with one sentence. She’s like a superhero who also knows how to curse you out.
She walked in and said, 'You’re gonna fail this test,' and I did.
She gave me a hug and then told me I looked like a raccoon.
She passed me the last cookie and then ate the whole box.
A Jeff
Jeff Jeff is the only person in the world who deserves his name said twice. He’s the sweetest guy ever, but he’s also the one who’ll punch your face for calling his mom a bimbo.
He helped me study and then told my crush I was cute.
He stood up for me when the lunch lady called me a fat slob.
He cried during a movie and then told me he was 'emotionally unstable.'
A Jeff
Being a Jeff is like achieving godhood. You’re not just a name, you’re a vibe, a force of nature, and you’re probably the reason the universe exists.
I became a Jeff after I ate 10 pizzas in one night.
I got a Jeff badge after I saved a kid from a burning bus.
My dog called me a Jeff after I barked at the mailman.
A Jeff
A Jeff is some old dude who partied way too much in the 60s, took pictures of everything, and now teaches kids who think tie-dye is a lifestyle.
He told me he met Jimi Hendrix at a gas station.
He wore a robe to class and called the principal 'love.'
He got in trouble for burning the school down during a poem.
A Jeff
A Jeff is a guy who can’t shut up about his name. He says it so much, you start to think he’s the only person who exists.
He said his name 17 times during lunch.
He called me 'Jeff' when I was 3 years old.
He named his dog Jeff and his dog named his goldfish Jeff.
A Jeff
A Jeff is a sneaky bastard. He looks like a saint, but then he hits you with the worst surprises ever.
He gave me a hug and then took my lunch money.
He said he was gonna help me with math, and then he made me do 100 push-ups.
He told me he was my friend, and then he told my crush I was ugly.
A Jeff
A Jeff looks like a damn masterpiece in blue. It’s like he was made for that color and nothing else.
He wore a blue shirt and it looked like he was glowing.
He dyed his hair blue and people started crying.
He painted his nails blue and called it 'jeffcore.'
A JeffH
When a man sees a hot guy and acts like he's into him but really just wants to hide how gay he is and hopes no one notices.
'Hey, that guy at the bar is cute,' he says, then immediately texts his wife.
'He winked at me, so I have to pretend I'm into him,' he tells his best friend, who's married to a woman.
He stares at the guy for 10 minutes, then snaps out of it and says, 'I'm just tired.'
A JeffH
A man who sees a hot guy and pretends to be interested but is actually scared someone will find out he's a total fag.
He texts his coworker, 'That guy at the gym is hot, right?' Then deletes the message.
He follows a guy on Instagram just to see if he's single, but then texts his mom about it.
He says, 'I'm just being friendly,' but he's actually crying inside.
A JeffH
When a man sees a hot guy and tries to act cool but secretly hopes no one knows he's a sissy who's terrified of being called gay.
He says, 'He’s not that hot,' but he’s staring at him like he’s a superhero.
He texts his boyfriend, 'I need to figure this out before he notices I’m a sissy.'
He looks at the guy and says, 'I’m just being polite,' but he’s actually sweating.
A Jeff Sessions
When someone lies and says they don’t remember anything, even when they were there. It’s like they have a superpower that lets them forget everything, even when they were part of it.
“I don’t remember saying that.”, Jeff Sessions, 2018
“I wasn’t there, I swear.”, Jeff Sessions, 2019
“I don’t recall ever doing that.”, Jeff Sessions, 2020
A Jeff Sessions
A Keebler elf who’s too dumb and too white to ever be a real boy. He’s only popular in Alabama, and only got there because Trump said so.
“He’s like a Keebler elf who forgot how to be a boy.”, @RealDonaldTrump, 2017
“He’s the worst elf ever.”, @KeeblerElf, 2018
“He’s too white to be a real boy.”, @AlabamaNews, 2019
A Jeff Sessions
When a group of people get together to smoke weed. Jeff is like the main joint you pass around.
“We had a Jeff Session after work.”, @WeedLover2020, 2021
“Jeff Session is the best part of the day.”, @PotHeadDad, 2020
“We had a Jeff Session at the park.”, @HighAndHappy, 2022
A Jeff Sessions
When you and your friends light up and get high. It’s like a party, but with weed.
“We had a Jeff Session at the party.”, @PartyVibes, 2020
“Jeff Session was the best part of the night.”, @HighAndHappy, 2021
“We had a Jeff Session every weekend.”, @WeedLover2020, 2022
A Jeff Sessions
A stupid, racist, inbred hillbilly from Alabama who’s the AG of the Depressed States of America.
“He’s the dumbest hillbilly I’ve ever seen.”, @AlabamaNews, 2019
“He’s like a hillbilly from a horror movie.”, @DepressedStates, 2020
“He’s the worst AG ever.”, @DepressedStates, 2021
A Jeff Sessions
When two or more guys get together, smoke a lot of weed, and have sex. It’s like a party with extra weed.
“We had a Jeff Session and had sex.”, @WeedAndSex, 2021
“Jeff Session was the best part of the night.”, @GuysAndWeed, 2020
“We had a Jeff Session and had a lot of fun.”, @WeedAndFun, 2022
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