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Dad Crush
You like a guy like he’s your dad, but he’s still way hotter than your dad and you’re jealous of your dad for no reason.
My Dad Crush is my brother’s friend. He’s got the best laugh and he’s got the best stories.
I have a Dad Crush on my uncle. He’s got the beard of a legend and the best stories.
My neighbor has a Dad Crush on my dad. He’s got the brain of a genius and the patience of a saint.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Coin
A shiny coin made from dad's old bones and bad decisions
My dad coin is worth more than my college degree.
I’d rather trade my kidney for a dad coin.
That dad coin is the reason I have a headache every Sunday.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Coin
A cursed coin that makes you feel your dad’s worst moments
I flipped my dad coin and got the night he yelled at the pizza guy.
My dad coin is haunted by his 2007 hair choices.
That dad coin just reminded me of the time he tried to fix the TV with a spoon.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Coin
A piece of dad’s soul, melted down and forged into a coin
I sold my dad coin for a snack and regretted it.
That dad coin is the reason I don’t eat spicy food anymore.
My dad coin just whispered my worst grades to me.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Candy
A dad who looks like he just walked out of a gym and into your life. He’s got six-pack abs, a smile that could make you lose your mind, and he’s got the attitude of someone who thinks he’s the main character of your life.
My dad showed up at my prom and I almost fainted. He looked like he could bench-press my entire high school.
He texted me a photo of himself doing push-ups at 6 a. m. with the caption, 'Still got it, baby.'
He came to my graduation and gave a speech that made me cry. He also had a six-pack. I was confused.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Candy
A man-candy who actually does the hard stuff like changing diapers, reading bedtime stories, and pretending to like your stupid middle school band.
My dad took me to my first concert and cried during the whole thing. He also bought me a cupcake after.
He changed my diaper when I was five and didn’t even flinch. I cried. He laughed.
He showed up at my soccer game and yelled my name so loud, the entire stadium heard it.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Cam
A crummy old camera your dad used to film everything like a loser. It records on tape, not memory cards. It makes everything look like it was filmed in a landfill. Now it’s cool again, but only because rich people are trying to look like they’re from the 90s.
My dad used his dad cam to film my dog eating my mom's hair.
That commercial used a dad cam. It looked like it was filmed in a basement.
My teacher used a dad cam to film our class. It looked like a horror movie.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Cam
When your friend’s dad has a huge chode and everyone is obsessed with it. It’s like the whole school is staring at his crotch.
My friend’s dad cam is so big, it has its own Instagram.
The dad cam was so big, it blocked the sun.
My friend’s dad cam is the reason I failed gym.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Butter
Big globs of butter slapped on any bread. Kids think it’s the worst. Adults think it’s the best. Salted butter makes it taste like heaven and hell at the same time.
My dad puts butter on toast like it’s a crime. I hate it. Now I crave it.
Why do adults eat butter on bread like it’s a fancy dish? I just want waffles.
Salted butter on bread is like a food group. I live for it.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Butter
When butter is piled on bread so thick it’s like a burger. Kids gag. Adults lick the plate. Salted butter is like a side dish for your brain.
My dad puts butter on bread like it’s a war. I just want a snack.
Why do adults eat butter like it’s a trophy? I just want a sandwich.
Salted butter on bread is like a snack and a party. I’m there.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Butter
A slap of butter on bread that’s so thick it’s almost a meal. Kids think it’s a disgrace. Adults think it’s a masterpiece. Salted butter? That’s just a bonus.
My dad puts butter on toast like it’s a sport. I’m just there for the chaos.
Why do adults eat butter on bread like it’s a luxury? I just want to survive.
Salted butter on bread is like a snack with a side of drama. I’m hooked.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Buzz
When you drink enough beer to turn your brain into a soggy pretzel and feel like your dad after he fell asleep on the couch with a pizza box over his face.
I had a dad buzz so strong I peed on the floor and didn't even care.
My dad buzz was so good I forgot my own name and started yelling at the TV.
I got a dad buzz and cried at a commercial about a sad puppy.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Buzz
A clumsy, smelly, drunk man who acts like he's from Australia and drinks this weird gold beer like it's the last drop of water on Earth.
My dad buzz looked like a drunk Aussie midget who fell into a gold mine.
Buzz's dad came in like a drunk midget who just ran over a goat.
That dad buzz smelled like old socks, beer, and regret.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Bulge
That big meaty package on a dad’s crotch from wearing tight jeans and a shirt that’s too short for his gut.
My dad’s bulge is so big, it looks like he’s got a second crotch.
He’s got a bulge so big, it’s like he’s got a sausage in his pants.
My dad’s bulge is so big, it’s like he’s got a side dish with his lunch.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Bulge
The huge package on a dad’s crotch from years of eating pizza and wearing clothes that don’t fit.
That bulge looks like it’s about to burst out of his pants.
His bulge is so big, it’s like he’s got a whole sandwich in his pants.
His bulge is so big, I think it’s got its own ZIP code.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Bulge
The big fat bulge on a dad’s crotch from wearing clothes that are too small and eating too much.
That bulge looks like it’s trying to take over his pants.
His bulge is so big, it’s like he’s got a burger in his pants.
That bulge is so big, it’s got its own Instagram.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Breath
A stink so bad it could make a corpse turn back into a person. You got it from your dad. Your kids hate it. Your grandpa probably smells like a wet sock and a dead raccoon.
My dad’s breath hit me like a punch in the face. I think I lost my lunch.
I walked into the room and my kid said, 'Dad, I think you ate a whole gym bag.'
He smelled like a combination of old pizza and a fart that traveled across the country.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Breath
When you breathe like a monster in a horror movie. It’s loud. It’s creepy. It’s like your dad is trying to scare you before he eats you.
He took one breath and I thought he was going to suffocate me.
He breathed so loud I thought he was trying to yell at a ghost.
He looked at me like he was about to breathe fire.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Breath
When you breathe like you just ran a marathon and your lungs are trying to escape your body. It’s like your dad found out his daughter has a boyfriend and he’s ready to fight him.
He inhaled like he was trying to get a new lung.
He breathed so hard I thought he was going to blow the house down.
He looked like he just ran from a dragon and he was still mad about it.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Boner
A man who thinks he's still cool, but he's just a sad, fat version of himself from 20 years ago. He wears jeans that look like they were stolen from a ghost.
My dad wore those jeans to my wedding. I cried.
He tried to text me a meme. It was a cat wearing sunglasses.
He asked me if I knew what a 'dad boner' was. I told him it was a disease.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
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