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Dad went for milk
If your dad says he's going for milk, there's a 100% chance he's never coming back. He's probably with another woman and forgot about you.
Dad went for milk. He's probably with another woman.
Dad said he's going for milk. I know he's with someone else.
Dad went for milk and forgot about me. He's with someone else.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad went for milk
When your dad says he's going for milk, there's a 99.99999% chance he's just running from your mom and never coming back.
Dad went for milk. He's running from my mom again.
Dad said he's going for milk. I know he's running from my mom.
Dad went for milk. He's a coward running from my mom.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad weed
Weed that smells like your dad’s socks after he’s been dead for a week. It’s barely worth smoking, but you got it from your dad and you’re too lazy to go get something better.
My dad’s weed is like a dead raccoon in a sock. I smoke it just to be polite.
I tried his weed. It tasted like regret and old pizza.
Smoked my dad’s weed. Now I smell like a fart that’s been sitting in a toilet for a year.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad weed
The worst weed you ever had. Your dad gave it to you because he thought you were cool. Now you’re stuck with a bag full of cruddy green and a bunch of friends who think you’re a loser.
My dad said I was cool. Then I smoked his weed. Now I’m the cool loser.
My friends asked why I smelled like a wet dog. I said, ‘My dad’s weed.’
I got a bag of dad weed. Now I can’t breathe and I can’t be cool.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad weed
Weed that tastes like your dad’s mouth after he’s been smoking for 30 years. It’s bad. It’s gross. But you smoke it because you’re too dumb to buy something better.
I took a hit of my dad’s weed. It felt like my lungs were on fire and my brain was being tortured.
My dad’s weed is the reason I failed math. It’s that bad.
I tried his weed. It was like smoking a sock that had been in a dumpster for a month.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad trolling
Making up stupid lies to your kids just because you think it's hilarious and you're too lazy to do anything else.
I told my kid the moon was made of cheese and that his dog was a space alien. He cried for 10 minutes.
I said the school was on fire and the teacher was a robot. He ran out of the house screaming.
I told my kid his math test was actually a trap by the devil. He asked for a lawyer.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad trolling
A dad who makes bad jokes online and laughs when people get mad at him.
He said 'Why did the chicken cross the road?' and then said 'Because it was tired of being a fowl.' People yelled at him.
He posted a meme about pizza and got called a 'lame dad.' He just said 'I like cheese.'
He made a joke about math and got 100 likes from other dads. He was proud.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad times
A dad who only gives fake love through junk food, cheap toys, and showing up for one party a year. He’s all about looks, not actually caring about his kids.
My dad showed up to my birthday with a pizza and a toy that broke in 10 seconds.
He sent me a gift card for $5 for my graduation.
He yelled at me for failing math but didn’t even check my homework.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad times
A guy who only wants to take care of his kid when it’s convenient. He sleeps until 1 p. m. and forgets diapers, formula, and basic human functions.
He let my brother eat cereal for dinner because he was too tired to cook.
He forgot my birthday because he was napping.
He left me with my uncle because he didn’t feel like being a dad that day.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad times
A moment so embarrassing it makes your dad look like a total disaster. It’s like when your dad does something so bad it makes everyone laugh at him.
My dad tried to do a magic trick and spilled water everywhere.
He tried to sing and it sounded like a cat was choking.
He tried to dance and fell over.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad throat
When you feel like a cockroach is trying to crawl up your windpipe and you have to cough like a dying goat every few minutes. It’s called dad throat because your dad did it and now you’re getting it too.
At lunch, I was trying to eat my sandwich and I started coughing like I was being electrocuted.
During a Zoom call, I cleared my throat so many times my boss asked if I was having a seizure.
I was on the toilet and I started coughing so hard I thought I was going to throw up.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad throat
When you have a tiny bit of food stuck in your throat, but you act like it’s a full-blown emergency. It’s dad throat because your dad made it a daily ritual and now it’s your new life.
I was eating a taco and I felt like I had a piece of meat stuck in my throat. I cleared my throat like it was a fire alarm.
At work, I had to clear my throat so many times my coworkers were asking if I had a tick.
I was trying to talk to my crush and I started coughing like I had a frog in my throat.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad throat
It’s when your throat feels like it’s been sandblasted and you have to cough every few minutes like you’re trying to kill someone. Dad throat is the worst because your dad did it and now it’s your life.
I was in class and I started coughing so hard my teacher thought I had a coughing fit.
I was trying to text my friend and I kept clearing my throat like I was trying to scream.
At the gym, I started coughing so much the weights were shaking.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad the chad
A dad who's so chad, he could bench-press a kid and still be cool about it.
My dad the chad just yelled at the TV and then gave me a protein shake like I was his personal sidekick.
He called the principal and said he'd 'take care of' my teacher if she didn't let me skip algebra.
He showed up at my soccer game in a muscle shirt and a hat that said 'I survived the 80s.'
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad the chad
A dad who's a chad so hard, he probably had a chad dad too.
He told the kid he was 'chad enough for two' and then flexed in the school parking lot.
He asked the teacher if he could 'take over' the class for a minute and then did a pull-up on the chalkboard.
He got into a fight with the school mascot because he said it wasn't 'chad enough.'
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad the chad
Your wife's side piece who just got divorced and now thinks he's your kids' stepdad, but really he just wants your wife's insurance.
He showed up at the parent-teacher conference and said, 'I'm here to help, or at least to take your wife's insurance.'
He tried to give my kid a 'chad lesson' and it ended with a kid crying and a dad with a broken nose.
He called my mom and said, 'Your daughter's a mess, but I'm a chad, so I can handle it.'
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad the chad
A bunch of guys and their sons who think football is the only thing that matters, and they blame the moon if their team loses.
They all blamed the ref for the loss, even though he was just eating a taco.
They said the quarterback was 'chad enough to win,' but he didn't even show up.
They started a group chat called 'The Chad Squad' and sent each other memes about the game for three days straight.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad songs
songs from the 70s that your dad plays so loud he might blow out his eardrums and you can’t hear the words because the guitars are screaming at you.
Your dad turns on ‘Hotel California’ and you think the walls are on fire.
He yells ‘I’m a survivor’ so loud the neighbors call the cops.
He plays ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ and you’re half-dead from the noise.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad songs
songs your dad plays so bad he thinks he’s in a rock band and you’re forced to listen to his terrible voice.
He sings ‘You Can’t Always Get What You Want’ like he’s dying and it’s the most dramatic thing ever.
He yells ‘Don’t Stop Believin’ like it’s the end of the world.
He tries to sing ‘Sweet Child O’ Mine’ and it’s more of a scream than a song.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad songs
songs your dad plays so much you know every word and you just want to punch him because he won’t stop.
He plays ‘September’ every morning and you wish you could just disappear.
He blasts ‘Stayin’ Alive’ in the car and you’re about to lose your mind.
He plays ‘You Should Be Dancing’ during dinner and you’re already mad.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
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