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paedonoia
Like when you take down a whole playground because you think a kid might fall off the swings and get scared.
Closing the movie theater because one person might watch a movie and get distracted.
Blocking the whole internet just because one person might look at a kid.
Shutting down the mall because someone might shop and get tired.
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedonoia
When you freak out so much about a possible pedo that you shut everything down, even though no one’s even been caught doing anything.
Closing the whole town just because one person might look at a kid and think about stuff.
Blocking the whole park because someone might play on the swings and be happy.
Taking down the school just because one teacher might have a crush on a student.
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedonoia
Like when you shut down a whole app just because a single person might use it to look at a kid and get distracted.
Closing the whole restaurant just because one person might look at a kid and think about food.
Blocking the whole airport because someone might fly and get tired.
Shutting down the gym because someone might work out and get strong.
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedonoia
When you shut down a service because you’re so scared of a pedo that you don’t even care if it’s actually working or not.
Closing the whole school just because a teacher might have a crush on a student and not even do anything bad.
Blocking the whole internet because one person might look at a picture and think about stuff.
Taking down the whole app because someone might use it and get distracted.
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedonoia
Like when you shut down a website just because you’re so scared of a pedo that you don’t even care if it’s actually useful or not.
Closing the whole park just because someone might play on the swings and get distracted.
Blocking the whole mall because someone might shop and get tired.
Taking down the whole library because someone might read a book and get bored.
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedonecrozoophilia
A person who gets a hard-on from dead baby animals and can't stop thinking about it
I saw a dead puppy and my pants were on fire.
She texted me a photo of a dead chick and said 'you know what this is?'
He eats cereal for breakfast and dead kittens for dinner.
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedonecrozoophilia
Someone who’s obsessed with dead baby animals and gets off on it like it’s the last day of school
He cried when the hamster died. And then he got a boner.
She posted a dead bunny on Instagram and got 10 likes.
He married a dead duck and now they have three kids.
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedonecrozoophilia
A person who thinks dead baby animals are the best thing since sliced bread and gets a boner just thinking about it
He asked for a dead puppy for his birthday and got it.
She kissed a dead lamb and said it was the best kiss ever.
He tried to date a dead kitten and it was a disaster.
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedonecrozoophilia
A person who gets a major hard-on from dead baby animals and acts like it's the best thing ever
He got a dead puppy for Christmas and cried happy tears.
She texted me a dead mouse and said 'you know what this means?'
He eats dead baby animals for breakfast and it’s his favorite.
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedonecrozoophilia
Someone who can’t stop thinking about dead baby animals and gets a boner every time they see one
He got a dead puppy and now he’s in love.
She texted me a dead chick and said 'I need you.'
He kissed a dead lamb and it was the best day ever.
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedonecrozoophilia
A person who loves dead baby animals more than anything and gets a boner just thinking about it
He got a dead puppy and now he's in love.
She sent me a dead chick and said 'this is the best thing ever.'
He eats dead baby animals for breakfast and calls it 'morning glory.'
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedon
a guy so weird he probably thinks toilets are for eating.
My paedon cousin tried to hug a fire hydrant. It ran away.
He asked me if my dog was a friend or a snack.
He wore socks with shoes and a hat at 3 a. m.
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedon
a guy who’s nice but also kind of a lunatic. He’ll hug you like you’re his long-lost brother and then ask if you want to go to a circus.
He invited me to his birthday party and brought a goat.
He cried when I ate a taco.
He tried to sing me to sleep.
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedometer
A fancy gadget that counts how many kids get fucked over by a pervert at the same time it’s on.
The paedometer went up to 7 when the creepy guy at the park got 7 kids to sit on his lap.
My uncle’s paedometer hit 3 when he got caught with 3 boys in the closet.
That paedometer was screaming 10 when the teacher let the class go with the creepy substitute.
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedometer
A tool that tracks how many kids get used by a sicko at once, like a pervert’s diary but with numbers.
The paedometer went to 5 when the creepy uncle brought 5 kids to the basement.
That paedometer was at 2 when the teacher got caught with 2 students in the backroom.
My dad’s paedometer hit 4 when he got 4 kids to sneak into his car.
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedometer
A gadget that counts how many kids a pervert abuses at the same time, like a sicko’s favorite toy.
The paedometer shot up to 6 when the creepy neighbor lured 6 kids into his garage.
That paedometer was at 4 when the teacher got 4 students to go to his office.
My brother’s paedometer went to 3 when he got 3 kids to hide in his closet.
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedolove
A guy who can't keep his eyes off little girls and thinks they're hot like a firecracker in a pants pocket.
He stared at the girl in the grocery store like she was the last slice of pizza.
He asked the waitress if she was 12 and if she wanted a soda.
He tried to flirt with my little sister and got a face full of elbow.
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedolove
A man who thinks a kid is cute and then acts like he's been kissed by an angel.
He smiled at the girl like she was the best thing since chocolate milk.
He whispered to the kid, 'You're the best thing since my mom's cooking.'
He gave the girl a cookie and then asked for her number.
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedolove
A guy who can't stop looking at young girls like they’re going to give him a gold star.
He looked at the girl like she was going to hand him a trophy.
He kept checking his phone during the soccer game to see if the girl was still there.
He asked the teacher if the girl was allowed to be there.
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedolove
A man who thinks a kid is cute and then acts like he just won the lottery.
He saw the girl and said, 'I think I just got rich.'
He told the girl, 'You're the best thing that's ever happened to me.'
He asked the girl to be his girlfriend and then got sent to the principal's office.
by Slangipedia 27d ago
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