A Susan is a damn good person who thinks she's average. She's smart, kind, and always trying to be the best, but she can't see her own greatness. She'll be your best friend if you're cool, but if you mess with her, she'll make your life a living hell. She loves you like a girlfriend, respects you like a boss, and will fight for you like a warrior. Don't let her see you cry.
"You called me Sue? I'm gonna give you a headache so bad you'll forget your own name.", Susan, after being called Sue for the third time.
"You broke my heart? I'll break your bones.", Susan, during a dramatic breakup.
"I'm your best friend, but I'll still make you fail math.", Susan, being extra.
A Susan is a hot, kind, and sweet girl who will be your best friend forever. But if you do something stupid, she'll flip out and it'll be a total nightmare. She's super pretty, but she doesn't realize it. She's also super lucky if she has a guy who loves her like crazy.
"You messed up my lunch? I'll mess up your life.", Susan, in the middle of a food fight.
"I'm the best friend, but I'm also your nightmare.", Susan, being dramatic.
"You're my best friend, but I still hate you sometimes.", Susan, being real.
A Susan is a crazy, funny, smart girl who thinks she's the center of the universe. She'll love you to death if you're there for her when she's at her worst. But if you're not, she'll show you her weird, freaky side and it's not pretty. She's got big dreams, and she'll do anything to make them come true.
"You ignored me? I'll haunt your dreams.", Susan, being dramatic.
"You're my best friend, but I'll also make you my enemy.", Susan, being complicated.
"You're not there for me? I'll show you my weird side.", Susan, being a little scary.
A Susan is a lunatic who can destroy anything with wheels. She'll take your lawnmower, your car, and your truck and make them all explode. She doesn't care if it's your favorite truck or your only car. She just wants to see the destruction.
"Your truck? I'll crash it into a lake.", Susan, being a total wrecking machine.
"Your car is my new toy.", Susan, during a car crash.
"Your lawnmower? I'll make it scream.", Susan, being a lunatic.
A Susan is a generous, smart, and open-minded person who will be there for you no matter what. But if you're not there for her, she'll forgive you way too easy. She's beautiful, but she doesn't know it. She's also super athletic and always gives her all in everything she does.
"You broke my heart? I'll forgive you instantly.", Susan, being too kind.
"You're not there for me? I'll still be there for you.", Susan, being super loyal.
"You're my best friend, and I'll always be there for you.", Susan, being extra.
A Susan is a Facebook mom or Karen's annoying little sister. She's all over social media, and she'll make you feel like you're in a group chat with her and her friends.
"You're not on Facebook? I'll make you feel left out.", Susan, being a total mom.
"You're not my friend? I'll make you feel like you're my enemy.", Susan, being dramatic.
"You're not on Instagram? I'll make you feel like a nobody.", Susan, being extra.
A Susan is a Karen who only flips out when she's mad about Liberal, Leftist, or Progressive stuff. She'll make your life a living hell if you don't agree with her.
"You're not Liberal? I'll make you feel like a total idiot.", Susan, being extra.
"You're not Leftist? I'll make you feel like you're not cool.", Susan, being dramatic.
"You're not Progressive? I'll make you feel like you're stuck in the past.", Susan, being a total Karen.
Going to a golf course in a thunderstorm while totally naked, lying flat on your back, and sticking a metal rod up your pants, hoping lightning will blast your junk and kill you.
I saw a guy doing Zeus at the park and got struck by lightning. His pants were on fire.
My cousin tried Zeus and now he's stuck with a rod up his butt for life.
I did Zeus once. Got struck. My penis is still sore.