A jerk
A jerk is someone who tries to jerk off and fails, so they just sit there and look stupid.
My brother tried to jerk off and just sat there.
My friend tried to jerk off and failed.
My cousin tried to jerk off and ended up on the floor.
Discover Slang
A jerk
A jerk is a dumb person who thinks they're the best and does stupid things just to prove it.
My teacher called me a jerk and then failed me.
My friend said I was a jerk and then laughed at me.
My brother called me a jerk and then ate my sandwich.
A jens vuijk
a face-slapping fool who eats beans and thinks they're hot no matter what
"You think you're cool? I slap my own face and eat beans while you're still figuring out your life."
He asked me out after I ate a whole can of baked beans in the grocery store.
His dating profile says: 'I'm pansexual, but only if you're willing to eat beans with me.'
A jens vuijk
a guy who thinks whale butts are the best thing ever and has a nose that looks like a penis
He stared at a whale for 10 minutes and said, 'This is the best day of my life.'
He walked into a museum and asked if they had a whale butt exhibit.
He texted me: 'I saw a whale butt today. I'm in love.'
A jelly bean
A jelly bean is a fake tough guy who cries at the slightest insult and eats a whole bag of candy during a fight.
My cousin is a jelly bean. He punched me and then cried because I laughed at his face.
That kid called me a jelly bean in gym class. I kicked him in the shins and ate three jelly beans.
My dad is a jelly bean. He yells at the TV and then eats a whole bag of candy when he loses.
A jelly bean
A jelly bean is when a girl puts her junk on your face like she’s trying to make you smell like a sweaty gym sock.
My friend’s girlfriend is a jelly bean. She did it at the mall and my friend cried like a baby.
I got jelly bean’d by my ex. She did it during a group project and I failed the test.
My brother’s girlfriend jelly beanned him in front of his mom. He ran out of the house crying.
A jelly bean
A jelly bean is a guy who stares at a girl like she’s the last piece of pizza and forgets to blink.
My neighbor is a jelly bean. He stares at my sister and I think he’s going to propose.
That guy at the store is a jelly bean. He looked at me like I was a hot dog and I blushed.
My friend’s teacher is a jelly bean. She stares at him like he’s the last piece of cake.
A jelly bean
A jelly bean is what Ronald Reagan ate when he was too dumb to remember his own face and his mouth moved like a fish out of water.
Ronald Reagan was a jelly bean. He ate them and his mouth moved like a confused fish.
My history teacher said Reagan was a jelly bean. He ate them and forgot how to speak.
If I was president, I’d be a jelly bean. I’d eat them and my mouth would move like a fish.
A jelly bean
A jelly bean is a tiny piece of meat that goes between your legs and makes you feel like a superhero when it’s happy.
My girlfriend is a jelly bean. She’s happy and I feel like I can fly.
That girl in my class is a jelly bean. She’s happy and I think she’s a superhero.
My mom is a jelly bean. She’s happy and she makes me feel like I can lift cars.
A jelly bean
A jelly bean is the best thing since the invention of the toilet. They are magic, sweet, and make you want to eat them until you explode.
Jelly beans are the best. They are like candy and they make me happy.
My friend says jelly beans are magic. I believe him because I ate a whole bag and I felt like a god.
Jelly beans are the best things ever. They are like candy and they make you feel like a king.
A jelly bean
A jelly bean is a candy that looks like a bean and tastes like a rainbow that fell into a bowl of sugar.
Jelly beans are like a rainbow in a bowl of sugar. They are sweet and colorful.
I love jelly beans because they look like beans and taste like a rainbow.
My favorite candy is a jelly bean. It’s like a rainbow and sugar had a baby.
A jeep thing
When two jeeps pass each other on the road, the drivers flip each other the bird like they're in a fight. It can be a full-blown middle finger or just a quick finger lift from the wheel. Only works if they’re driving a CJ, YJ, or TJ. Anything else? Pfft.
Hey, look at that guy flipping me the bird again!
That YJ just gave me the finger like I owe him money.
CJ’s in the ditch, but he still gave me a middle finger.
A jeep thing
You’re too dumb to get it.
You don’t get it? You’re a waste of oxygen.
You’re not in the club. You’re just a spectator.
You’re like a dog that doesn’t know it’s in a race.
A jeep thing
Jeep company lies to make their cars look cool. That smug face on the back is fake and annoying. Jeep things are: bad gas mileage, rolling into the hospital, and being worse than Toyota.
That smiley face is a lie. It’s fake and annoying.
I got 12 miles to the gallon and I’m still proud of it.
Toyota’s better. I’ve seen it.
A jeep thing
When a non-jeep person asks why two jeeps love each other more than anyone else, the answer is always the same: ‘You wouldn’t understand.’ It’s like they’re in a secret society.
Why do you two bond like you’re in a secret club?
You’re not part of the group. That’s why.
You’re just a regular person. We’re special.
A jeep thing
Jeep owners say this when they can’t explain why their car looks like a warzone, why it doesn’t work, or why they’re still driving it.
They hate us because we’re better than them.
They’re just jealous we’ve got more modifications.
They don’t understand our passion.
A jeep thing
Jeep is the most common offroad car. That means it’s also the most common STD. Everyone gets it, but no one wants to admit it.
Jeep’s like the most common STD. Everyone’s got it.
Jeep is the flu of offroading.
Jeep’s so common, it’s like a disease.
A jaylan era
When a boy in the middle of growing up has zero girls to mess around with and starts living in a world of video games to forget his problems
Bro just got suspended for playing Fortnite during lunch. He’s in the middle of a battle royale and won’t stop until he’s crowned king of the couch.
My cousin’s been gaming nonstop for weeks. He says he’s trying to forget that his ex is dating his brother.
He started streaming his game sessions live. Now he’s got 200 followers and still no girlfriend.
A jaylan era
A time when a boy who’s half a man is stuck with no girls and decides to escape reality with a controller and a bag of chips
He’s been eating chips and playing Call of Duty for three days straight. His mom says he’s like a zombie.
He told his mom he’d rather fight zombies in a game than deal with his crush’s mean texts.
He’s playing so much he’s forgotten his own birthday. Now he’s mad because he missed out on cake.
A jaylan era
When a boy who’s trying to be cool is stuck with no girls and decides to live in a world of pixels and power-ups instead
He started calling himself the ‘King of the Console’ and refuses to talk to anyone who doesn’t play games.
He skipped school to play Rocket League and got a detention. Now he’s like, ‘Worth it.’
He said he’s going to beat his rival in a game and then tell his crush he’s the best player ever.