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Dad Joint
A dad joint is a stoner’s last resort. It’s like a cigar made by a drunk man who forgot how to roll. It’s straight, it’s ugly, and it tastes like regret.
My dad rolled this joint while watching football. It looked like a piece of cardboard. I still smoked it though.
This joint was so bad it made my teeth hurt. My friend called it a 'toothbreaker.'
I tried to roll this joint with my eyes closed. It came out like a brick. Still hit me though.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Joint
A dad joint is when you roll a joint like it’s your final exam. It’s not cone-shaped. It’s straight. It’s like a sausage. But it still hits you like a freight train.
I rolled this joint with one hand while eating chips. It looked like a brick. But it hit me like a boss.
My dad rolled this joint with a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other. It looked like a dog barf. Still smoked it though.
This joint was so bad it looked like a math problem. But it still got me high.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Joint
A dad joint is when you roll a joint like you’re trying to impress your ex. It’s straight, it’s ugly, and it smells like old pizza. But somehow, it still gets the job done.
I rolled this joint while crying over my ex. It looked like a sad clown. Still hit me though.
This joint was so bad it smelled like my mom’s old pizza. Still smoked it though.
My dad rolled this joint with one hand and a cigarette in the other. It looked like a sad clown. Still got the job done.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Hooked
When a dad figure walks in like he owns the place and instantly starts ignoring everyone for the stupid show on TV
Dad walks in and says 'I'm not even here' while the game show starts.
He sits down like he's been waiting all day for this stupid football game.
He doesn't even notice me crying because I failed math.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Hooked
A dad figure walks in like they're the king and immediately forgets about all humans for the show on the tube
He walks in, says 'I'm here for the show' and doesn't even look at me.
He sat down and started yelling at the TV like it wronged him.
I asked him a question and he said 'Wait, the show's about to start.'
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Hooked
When a dad figure comes in and instantly becomes a prisoner to the show on the TV, like it's the only thing that makes sense
He walked in and said 'I'm not free until this show ends.'
He started laughing at the show and forgot about his own kid.
He didn't even move when I dropped my phone on his foot.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Hooked
When a dad figure walks in and becomes a zombie for the show on the TV, not even noticing the people around them
He walked in like a zombie and sat down without saying a word.
He was watching the show so hard, he didn't notice I was crying.
He didn't even flinch when I threw a pillow at him.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Hooked
When a dad figure walks in and instantly becomes the only person who matters, because of the show on the TV
He walked in and said 'I'm the only one who matters now.'
He started yelling at the TV like it was a person.
He didn't even see me when I walked in.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Hooked
When a dad figure walks in and becomes the center of attention for the show on the TV, not even thinking about other people
He walked in and started talking to the TV like it was his best friend.
He didn't even notice I was standing there.
He said 'I'm not even here for you, I'm here for the show.'
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Hog
A Dad Hog is a man who thinks his junk is so big it could beat up a goat and still have time to flirt with the farmer’s wife.
My dad said he could bench press a cow and still have time for breakfast.
He told my mom he could wear his pants backwards and still look like a king.
He claims he can eat a whole pie and still have room for a second helping of pride.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Hog
A Dad Hog is a dad who thinks his junk is so big it could start a war, and he’d be the general.
He told the class he could beat up the principal and still have time for recess.
He said he could walk through a wall and still smell like a hot dog stand.
He claimed he could drink a whole soda and still have time to brag about it.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Hog
A Dad Hog is a man who thinks his junk is so big it could be a full-time job.
He said he could work a full shift at the factory and still have time to eat lunch.
He told the kids he could run a marathon and still have time to talk to his mom.
He claimed he could eat a whole pizza and still have time to throw a party.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Hog
A Dad Hog is a man who thinks his junk is so big it could be a whole new holiday.
He said he could celebrate his junk every day and still have time to eat cake.
He told the class he could have a whole week off school just to honor his junk.
He claimed he could have a parade in his honor and still have time to eat hot dogs.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Hog
A Dad Hog is a man who thinks his junk is so big it could take over the world.
He told the kids he could conquer the world and still have time for breakfast.
He said he could take down the president and still have time for lunch.
He claimed he could take over the school and still have time to brag about it.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Hog
A Dad Hog is a man who thinks his junk is so big it could be a full-time superhero.
He said he could save the day and still have time for dinner.
He told the kids he could fight aliens and still have time for recess.
He claimed he could save the world and still have time to eat a whole pizza.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Hatch
A door or hole that lets you run away from your girl’s dad when he’s mad because you hooked up with his daughter or just finished giving her a blow job.
I saw the old man coming, so I bolted through the dad hatch like a scared rat.
He chased me all the way to the dock, screaming about how I’d ruined his kid’s life.
I used the dad hatch to escape before he could throw a bottle at my head.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Hatch
The front door on a yacht that gets used when a big sail gets stuck and the boat turns sideways, making it look like a total mess.
The spinnaker got stuck, and the dad hatch got taken down like it was a prison break.
We jibed and the sail just collapsed on the new side, and it went through the dad hatch like it was a trash can.
It looked like a Mexican took down the dad hatch, and the boat went sideways.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Ham
Dad Ham is when you used to be a total beast but now you’re just a dad who can only be a little bit beastly sometimes. It’s like you forgot how to be cool but still try.
"I used to lift 300 lbs. Now I lift my coffee.", Dad at the gym
"I tried to dance at the party and fell over.", Dad at the wedding
"I tried to yell at the kid and just said 'hello.'", Dad in the school parking lot
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Ham
Dad Ham is when a dad who used to be a legend now just kinda messes up his legendary moments because he’s a dad and that’s what dads do.
"I tried to do a pull-up and it was just a half-pull.", Dad on the playground
"I tried to be cool and just said 'yo' instead of 'yo, what's up?'", Dad at the mall
"I tried to make a fire and it was just a match.", Dad at the campsite
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Ham
Dad Ham is when a dad who used to be fire now just turns up like he’s trying to remember how to be fire and it doesn’t go well.
"I tried to be loud and just said 'hello' again.", Dad at the dinner table
"I tried to be funny and just said 'I’m hungry.'", Dad at the movie theater
"I tried to be a hero and just tripped over the dog.", Dad at the park
by Slangipedia 17d ago
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