Discover Slang

Eagan's Law

Eagan's Law is when life kicks you in the nuts because it knows you're weak. No matter what you choose, it's gonna be the worst option. And if you're smart enough to see it coming, something even worse will pop up to ruin your day.

I chose the 8 a. m. class. Now I'm stuck with a teacher who talks like a broken record.

I skipped the test. Now I have to do a presentation on my ex's face.

I tried to text my mom. She sent me a 20-minute video of her cat crying.

by Slangipedia 21d ago

Eagan's Law

Eagan's Law is like the universe being a giant tease. You pick the easy way out, and then it slaps you with something worse. If you're lucky, you get something else bad that you didn't even expect.

I took the shortcut. Now I'm stuck in traffic with my cousin's pet goat.

I ate the last slice of pizza. Now I have to listen to my brother's bad rap for an hour.

I left my homework at home. Now I have to do it during lunch.

by Slangipedia 21d ago

Eagan's Law

Eagan's Law is the reason you always end up with the worst situation. You think you're making the smart choice, but the universe just laughs in your face and gives you something even worse.

I picked the easy project. Now I have to present it to my whole class while my dog eats my notes.

I stayed up late to finish my homework. Now I have to go to school and my eyes are closed.

I tried to be cool. Now I'm stuck with a group project with my worst enemy.

by Slangipedia 21d ago

Eagan's Law

Eagan's Law is when you think you're getting out of a mess, but life just gives you another one. The worst part is, you know it's coming, but you still let it happen.

I skipped the math test. Now I have to do a math presentation with my brother's pet lizard.

I took the bus. Now I'm stuck behind a truck that smells like old socks.

I left my phone at home. Now I have to text my friends with my brother's phone.

by Slangipedia 21d ago

Eagan's Law

Eagan's Law is the reason you always get the worst possible outcome. You pick the easy way, and then life decides to make it extra hard just to mess with you.

I took the easy route. Now I have to sit next to my cousin's loud friend for the whole trip.

I left my lunch at home. Now I have to eat a sandwich made of my brother's old socks.

I skipped the science fair. Now I have to do it in front of the whole school.

by Slangipedia 21d ago

Eagan's Law

Eagan's Law is when the universe decides to make your life harder just for fun. You think you're smart, but it always ends up being the worst choice.

I picked the easy test. Now I have to do a presentation with my dog.

I took the bus. Now I'm stuck behind a truck that smells like my brother's old sock.

I left my phone at home. Now I have to text my friends with my sister's phone.

by Slangipedia 21d ago

Eagan Vice

A fake TV show set in the freezing hell of Eagan, Minnesota. It’s about two lazy vice cops named Sonny and Dickardo who bust bad guys but also make out in the squad car like a couple of fumbling teenagers.

"I caught a guy selling weed in the park, but I also got a boner.", Sonny

"I’m not here to solve crimes, I’m here to get my daily cock from Dickardo.", Sonny

Dickardo: "I didn’t do it!" Sonny: "You were licking my ear."

by Slangipedia 21d ago

Eagan Vice

A stupid TV show from Eagan, Minnesota, about two vice cops who look for bad people but also spend half their time getting drunk and making out in the squad car.

Sonny: "I caught a thief, but I also got a little extra.", Sonny

Dickardo: "I didn’t steal the donut, I just ate it.", Dickardo

Sonny: "We solved a crime and got a little extra." Dickardo: "That’s the best part."

by Slangipedia 21d ago

Eagan Vice

A fake show from Eagan, Minnesota, about two vice cops who bust perverts and also make out in the squad car like they’re in a teen movie.

Sonny: "I caught a guy doing something bad, but I also got a little extra.", Sonny

Dickardo: "I didn’t do it, I just liked it.", Dickardo

Sonny: "We solved a case, but I also got a little extra." Dickardo: "That’s the point."

by Slangipedia 21d ago

Eagagie

A penis that’s so pointy it could stab a hole in a donut

My cousin’s Eagagie is so sharp, it drew blood from a toaster.

I saw a guy with an Eagagie and it looked like it could poke a bear.

He had an Eagagie so long and pointy, it could spear a fish out of the sea.

by Slangipedia 21d ago

Eagagie

A penis so long and pointy, it could be used as a parking meter

His Eagagie was so long, it could reach from the couch to the fridge.

That Eagagie looked like it was about to poke out of his shirt.

He had an Eagagie so pointy, it could stab a balloon from 10 feet away.

by Slangipedia 21d ago

Eagagie

A penis so pointy, it looks like it’s trying to stab the sky

His Eagagie looked like it was trying to poke a hole in the clouds.

I saw a guy with an Eagagie so pointy, it looked like it could stab a vampire.

That Eagagie was so long and pointy, it looked like a sword from a medieval movie.

by Slangipedia 21d ago

Eag

Stuff that’s so old it smells like regret and has seen more life than your grandpa’s socks.

My jeans are so eag they look like they’ve been through a war and a divorce.

This sandwich is eag enough to make a ghost cry.

That shirt is eag. I think it’s from the Stone Age.

by Slangipedia 21d ago

Eag

To give up before the game is even over. Like you already lost and you didn’t even try.

He eag’d after one loss. Big man, small brain.

She eag’d before the final round. Pathetic.

He eag’d because his WiFi dropped.

by Slangipedia 21d ago

Eag

To be a total beast, like you could beat up a dragon and still have energy to laugh at it.

That guy is an eag. He beat 10 people in a row.

She’s an eag. She could bench-press a bear.

That kid is an eag. He finished the game in 2 minutes.

by Slangipedia 21d ago

Eag

The best guy ever. He’s the king of Minecraft and would beat you in a duel with a stick.

EAG is the best. He’s like a pro gamer but with more patience.

I respect EAG. He’s the GOAT of Minecraft.

EAG is the main guy. Everyone else is just filler.

by Slangipedia 21d ago

Eag

To get wasted. Liquid eag is basically a drink that makes you forget your own name.

I eag’d at the party and passed out on the floor.

He eag’d so much he turned into a dragon.

She drank liquid eag and now she’s talking to the ceiling.

by Slangipedia 21d ago

Eag

When a woman splits her legs wide open like she’s trying to break the Earth in half. It’s sexy, but also a little scary.

She was eag’d so hard the floor shook.

He saw her eag’d and instantly fainted.

That girl was eag’d like she was trying to escape a bear.

by Slangipedia 21d ago

Eag

When you’re so excited you could probably run a marathon and still have energy to high-five a bear.

He was eag’d when he won the game.

She was eag’d when she saw her crush.

That kid was eag’d when he got a 100 on the test.

by Slangipedia 21d ago

Eaftotheism

The idea that God lives inside your head like a bad roommate. You, me, and everyone else are all God, whether we like it or not.

My therapist said I'm God. I said, 'Great, now I have to pay rent.'

My friend thinks he's God. He doesn't know he's also my boss.

I told my kid he's God. He said, 'Cool, can I get a job?'

by Slangipedia 21d ago