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paedophilic
A weirdo who can't stop thinking about kids and usually lives in Britain
My neighbor used to whisper to my friend in the hallway
The postman kept asking me if I wanted to come to his house
My uncle kept telling me he was a 'nonce' and that made me confused
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedophilic
A dirty, stinky, messed-up person who likes to touch kids
My friend's dad kept following her around the school
The guy at the bus stop used to look at me funny
My cousin's teacher kept asking her to stay after class
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedophiles as urbandictionary spammers
the worst kind of UD spammers who post about liking kids and then get banned for being gross
He posted about licking kids and got banned for being a gross baby-licker
She said she liked kids and then got called a baby-eater
He posted about liking kids and then got banned for being a baby-licker
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedophiles as urbandictionary spammers
those creepy UD users who think they're cool for liking kids and then get called out for being trash
He said he liked kids and got called a baby-eater
She posted about liking kids and then got called a baby-licker
He thought he was cool for liking kids and then got called a baby-eater
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedophiles as urbandictionary spammers
those annoying UD spammers who think they're the best because they like kids and then get banned for being gross
He posted about liking kids and then got banned for being a baby-licker
She said she liked kids and got called a baby-eater
He posted about liking kids and then got banned for being a baby-licker
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedophiles abusing urbandictionary
The Fury 13 is a smelly old man who likes to touch kids and write dumb definitions about it. He should be thrown off a cliff with a dictionary in his hand.
He sent a DM: 'I touch kids and I write about it. It's a hobby.'
He posted a definition that made the whole internet cringe.
He tried to convince a kid to join his 'dictionary club'.
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedophiles abusing urbandictionary
Judge Dredd7 is a pervert who thinks being a judge makes him cool. He writes definitions that are as bad as his taste in pants.
He said, 'I judge people, and I judge kids. That’s just life.'
He posted a definition that made everyone want to throw up.
He tried to get a kid to be his 'favourite judge'.
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedophiles abusing urbandictionary
Deep Blue 2012 is a creepy guy who thinks the ocean is his best friend. He hides his evil in definitions and likes to stare at kids.
He whispered, 'The ocean loves me, and I love kids.'
He wrote a definition that made the sea cringe.
He tried to lure a kid into the ocean with a dictionary.
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedophilemma
When you're stuck between getting with a kid who's almost old enough and getting yelled at by everyone or ending up in jail.
'I can't decide if I want to date her or get arrested.'
'He's 16. I'm 18. It's not statutory rape... it's just statutory annoyance.'
'I'm not a monster. I'm just a monster who's not sure yet.'
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedophilemma
Trying to figure out if you're a hero or a pervert based on how close the kid is to being legal.
'If she was 18, I'd be a legend. At 16, I'm a creep.'
'He's 17. I'm 20. I'm not a pedophile. I'm just a half-decent guy with bad timing.'
'I'm not a monster. I'm just a monster with a calculator.'
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedophilemma
Being too scared to chase a crush because they're almost old enough and you don't want to end up on the news.
'She's 15. I'm 18. If I kiss her, I'll be on the 6 o'clock news.'
'He's 16. I'm 17. I don't want to be the guy who got caught.'
'I'm not getting with her. I'm just getting with her in secret.'
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedophilemma
Trying to decide if you're cool or a loser based on whether the kid is 15 or 16.
'15 means I'm a pervert. 16 means I'm just a bad decision.'
'She's 16. I'm 18. I'm not a creep. I'm just a slightly confused adult.'
'If I date her, I'll be famous. If I don't, I'll be forgotten.'
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedophilemma
Trying to pick between a hot kid and the possibility of being a criminal.
'I can date her or go to jail. Either way, I win.'
'He's 17. I'm 19. I'm not a criminal. I'm just a slightly delusional adult.'
'I'm not getting with her. I'm just getting with her and pretending I'm not.'
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedophilemma
The struggle of being too old for the kid but not old enough to be cool about it.
'I'm not a pedophile. I'm just a slightly older person with a crush.'
'She's 15. I'm 18. I'm not a monster. I'm just a slightly confused adult.'
'I'm not getting with her. I'm just getting with her and pretending I'm not.'
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedophile drum
A paedophile drum is like a fart machine made by a kid who thinks he's fancy. It’s a upside-down drum with a string and some sweaty arse magic.
My dad tried to play it and it sounded like a goat had a bad day.
The teacher called it a 'lion’s roar' but it just smelled like a gym sock.
I used it in my band and the crowd screamed like I dropped a dead rat.
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedophile drum
This drum is basically a middle finger to all normal drums. It’s got a string and some grumpy skin that moans like your mom after a long day.
It made my brother cry during the school play.
I used it in the orchestra and the conductor threw a pen at me.
It sounds like a grumpy old man with a bad case of heartburn.
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedophile drum
A paedophile drum is just a sweaty, moaning, stringy mess that makes weird sounds like a kid who forgot to do their homework.
I played it at the talent show and the judges ran away screaming.
My dog tried to eat it and now he’s got a string in his hair.
It’s like a fart that’s also a scream and it’s loud as hell.
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedophile drum
This drum is a sweaty, grumpy, stringy beast that makes noises like a kid who got sent to the principal’s office.
I played it in the concert and the kids thought it was a monster.
It made my teacher so angry she gave me extra homework.
It sounds like a kid who just got grounded and is still mad.
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedophile drum
A paedophile drum is like a fart that got stuck in a sweaty arse and then it started moaning like it had a bad day at work.
I used it in my band and the crowd threw things at me.
It made my brother’s dog scream like it saw a ghost.
It’s like a fart that’s also a scream and it’s loud as a jackhammer.
by Slangipedia 27d ago
paedophile drum
This drum is just a sweaty, grumpy, stringy thing that makes weird noises like a kid who got sent to the principal’s office and then got grounded.
I played it in the talent show and the crowd threw confetti and tomatoes.
My dog tried to eat it and now it’s stuck with a string in its mouth.
It’s like a kid who’s angry at the world and it’s screaming through a string.
by Slangipedia 27d ago
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