A Jacksmith is a god among mortals, the kind of man who makes everyone else look like a sad, sweaty office plant. He’s the one who laughs so hard he might fall over, and everyone else just hopes they’re not next.
My boss is a Jacksmith. He laughed so hard during the meeting he spilled coffee on the CEO.
At the bar, the Jacksmith told a joke so funny, the bartender started crying.
My friend’s a Jacksmith. He laughed so hard at my failed attempt at a stand-up bit, he passed out.
A Jacksmith is a motherfucking legend. He knows everything, loves everything, and if he doesn’t, he’ll make you believe he does. He’s the man who can charm a bar, beat a bet, and still have time to flirt with your mom.
My uncle’s a Jacksmith. He once bet $50 he could drink a whole bottle of whiskey and still beat my dad at chess.
The Jacksmith at the gym flirts with my mom while lifting weights like it’s a side job.
He’s the kind of guy who can turn a boring meeting into a stand-up show.
A Jacksmith is when you laugh so hard you feel like you’re gonna pee your pants. It’s when you’re not just laughing, you’re screaming, rolling on the floor, and maybe even crying.
I saw my friend’s Jacksmith moment at the party. He laughed so hard, he snorted soda out of his nose.
My mom had a Jacksmith fit when I told her I failed my math test.
During the movie, my brother had a Jacksmith moment and laughed so hard, he fell off the couch.
A Jacko is a name the tabloids used for Michael Jackson just to make him look like a total disaster so they could sell more papers and rip off the rich.
The tabloids called him a Jacko to make him look like a clown. It was just a way to make money off his fame.
They made him a Jacko so people would think he was crazy. It was just a marketing trick.
They called him a Jacko because they wanted to make him look like a freak. It was just a way to fill up their pockets.
A hot mess of a three-way where two guys line their dicks up like a train and a woman goes wild finger-blasting herself while jerking both off like they’re one big meaty combo.
My buddy and his bro did this at the hotel and the lady was screaming like a banshee.
At the party, the guy from finance did this with two interns and no one left the room.
My mom tried this and ended up with a stiffie and a broken nail.
The first lady who looked like a movie star but married a guy who cheated like a kid in a candy store. She remodeled the White House so nice, it could’ve been her own face.
Jackie looked like she just walked out of a magazine but married a guy who cheated on her with a movie star.
She kept her cool even when her husband got shot in the head and brains flew everywhere.
She married a super-rich guy just for the money and later took his picture naked in a magazine.
A Jackie is a girl who looks like a radioactive slug from the 1980s and smells like a wet sock that’s been buried in a landfill for ten years. She’s the kind of girl who makes you wish you had a chainsaw instead of a heart.
I saw her in the back of the bus and thought I was going to die from the sheer amount of ugliness.
She walked into the room and I immediately texted my therapist.
She looked like a failed science experiment and I wanted to scream into a pillow.