Discover Slang

A Matt Damon
A Matt Damon is the guy who’s so cool he thinks he can be the best actor, the best writer, the best dad, and still be f***ing handsome. He’s like a god who forgot to be humble.
He said he was the best actor, the best writer, and the best dad, all in one sentence.
He called himself ‘so cool’ like he was f***ing Batman.
He said he’s handsome like he was f***ing Leonardo DiCaprio.
A Matt Damon
A Matt Damon is when you scream ‘Matt Damon’ like it’s the f***ing end of the world, just because your friend won a battle online and you’re too f***ing proud to shut up.
He screamed ‘Matt Damon’ after winning a battle like he was f***ing king.
He shouted ‘Matt Damon’ like it was a f***ing prayer.
He said ‘Matt Damon’ so loud, the neighbors called the cops.
A Matt Joke
A joke so bad it makes your brain want to quit.
My uncle told a Matt Joke about his pet goldfish. I cried.
The teacher made us write a Matt Joke on the board. We all failed.
My friend texted me a Matt Joke. I blocked him.
A Matt Joke
A joke that’s so weak it’s like a toddler trying to kick a door.
My mom’s Matt Joke was about her neighbor’s cat. It was sad.
The bus driver told a Matt Joke. The whole bus fell asleep.
My brother made a Matt Joke during lunch. Everyone threw food.
A Matt Joke
A joke so bad it’s like watching someone eat a sock.
My dad’s Matt Joke was about his job. I got food poisoning.
The principal told a Matt Joke. We all ran out of the building.
My crush told me a Matt Joke. I died inside.
A Matt
A clueless dork who thinks they're hot stuff but are actually a waste of oxygen.
That guy tried to block me in chess and failed. Classic A Matt.
He said he was the best at Mario Kart, then got knocked out by a Koopa Troopa.
He tried to flirt with my sister and called her 'a legend.' She laughed and called him 'a legend in the wrong genre.'
A Matt
Putting on more glitter than a disco ball just to be the center of attention.
He showed up to the party in full face paint and a cape. No one asked him to wear it.
He wore a suit to the grocery store because he thought he was going to a fancy dinner.
He did his hair for 45 minutes just to post a selfie.
A Matt
When Matt gets turned on by his own cartoon version. It's like a love letter from a 2D version of himself.
He saw Matt in the cartoon and blushed like he just won a bet.
He said he was going to marry the animated version of himself.
He texted me, 'Matt the cartoon is hot. I'm going to propose to him.'
A Matt
Looks like a king on the outside, but inside he's just a kid throwing a tantrum.
He told everyone he was going to be president, then cried when he lost a game of Uno.
He said he was a rockstar, then broke down because someone laughed at his joke.
He tried to be cool, but he still eats cereal for dinner.
A Matt
A makeup color that has no shine, like a sad kid who got grounded.
Her makeup looked flat, like she didn't even try.
He used matte lipstick and looked like he had a bad day.
That guy wore matte eyeliner and looked like he was mad at the universe.
A Matt
That guy who beats you in every game on Wii Sports and thinks he's the best at everything.
He beat me in tennis and said I was 'a sad little man.'
He beat me in bowling and said I was 'a joke.'
He beat me in boxing and said I was 'a waste of a punch.'
A Matt
The guy who’s got it all together, but secretly has a heart of gold and a face like a movie star.
He’s the guy who helps you move furniture and then asks for a pizza.
He’s the one who breaks up fights just to keep the peace.
He’s the one who said, 'I’m not perfect, but I try.'
A Matt Cooper
When you fake hating your twin brother because you're actually obsessed with him and it's gross
I swear I'm going to kill you for stealing my pizza again
You're the worst brother ever
If you don't stop calling me a baby, I'll beat you up
A Matt Cooper
Lying about hating your twin brother when you're really just a love sick mess
You're the most annoying person I know
I would rather die than be stuck with you
If you don't stop laughing at my jokes, I'll throw my shoe at you
A Matt Cooper
When you say you hate your twin brother, but you're just trying to hide your obsession
I hate you more than I hate my math teacher
You're the worst
If you don't stop copying my homework, I'll report you
A Match Made In China
A relationship that looks like it was made by a drunk kid with a glue gun and a bad attitude. It’s broken, messy, and probably going to end in a screaming match and a divorce.
My mom and dad are a match made in China. They argue about the toaster and the pizza crusts.
My sister and her boyfriend are a match made in China. They fight over who left the bathroom sink messy.
My uncle and his wife are a match made in China. They hate each other more than the government hates taxes.
A Match Made In China
A couple that looks like they were stuck together by a teacher who hated them both. It’s not love. It’s a punishment.
My cousin and his girlfriend are a match made in China. They don’t talk. They just stare at each other like they’re waiting for the other to die.
My boss and his secretary are a match made in China. They hate each other but still have to smile in meetings.
My best friend and his girlfriend are a match made in China. They’re like a broken toaster. They work, but not for long.
A Match Made In China
A relationship that was forced by someone who had a grudge against both people. It’s like a bad pizza. It’s not good, and it’s going to end in a fight.
My brother and his wife are a match made in China. They fight about everything. Even the TV remote.
My neighbor and his girlfriend are a match made in China. They argue about the lawn and the Wi-Fi.
My friend and his girlfriend are a match made in China. They’re like a broken clock. They’re not working right, and it’s only a matter of time before it stops altogether.
A Mason
A Mason is a guy who builds stuff just to knock it down later, like a jerk who messes up your perfect day for no reason.
I built this wall, and then Mason came and kicked it down like it was nothing.
He spent all day setting up the game, and then he destroyed it just to see me cry.
He built my treehouse, then he threw a brick through the roof because he was mad about something.
A Mason
A Mason is the worst judge ever, like a biased idiot who tries to make you look guilty just to get a laugh.
He said I was guilty of stealing candy even though I had a witness.
He didn't even listen to my side of the story, he just yelled at me.
He gave me a lifetime sentence for stealing a single pencil.
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