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A Jordyn
A Jordyn talks crap about you behind your back like it's a hobby. If they didn't, they're probably ruining your life before it even starts. But sometimes they're okay, like when they're not being a total dipstick.
Yo, I told your crush you're a loser. You said you'd be my best friend forever. You're a liar.
I told your mom you eat pizza for breakfast. She thinks you're a monster now.
I said you're gonna fail this test. You're gonna fail it, and I'll be right there with you.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Jordyn
Jordyns are adorable, but they’re also the kind of people who will cry over spilled milk and then laugh at your jokes when you’re in the middle of a breakdown.
I told her I was gonna fail my math test. She cried and said she would fail with me.
She laughed when I spilled my coffee on my shirt. I told her I was gonna kill her.
She cried when I got a B on my test. I told her she was a monster.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Jordyn
A girl who thinks she's ugly, but she's so beautiful it's ridiculous. She's also smart, and people are gonna remember her name for a long time.
She said she was ugly. I said she was the most beautiful person I've ever met.
She got an A on her test. I said she was gonna be a genius.
She told me she was gonna be a nobody. I said she was gonna be a somebody.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Jordyn
The kind of friend who will stand up for you even if it means getting beat up. But if you argue with her, she’ll never let you live it down.
She got in a fight with my brother for me. She won. She also told my brother he was a loser.
She defended me in front of the whole class. She also told me I was a failure.
She stood up for me in front of my crush. She also told my crush I was a disaster.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Jordyn
She’s hot, smart, and doesn’t take any crap. If you mess with her, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.
She told me I was a loser. I told her she was the most beautiful person I’ve ever met.
She got an A on her test. She told me I was gonna fail mine.
She told me I was gonna be the best girlfriend ever. She also told me she was gonna be the best girlfriend ever.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Jordyn
She’s the nicest person you’ll ever meet. But she’s also the kind of person who will cry over spilled milk and then laugh at your jokes when you’re in the middle of a breakdown.
She cried when I spilled my coffee on my shirt. I told her I was gonna kill her.
She laughed when I told her I was gonna fail my test. She told me I was gonna fail it with me.
She cried when I told her I was gonna be a nobody. I told her she was gonna be a somebody.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Jordyn
She’s shy, but she’s also the kind of person who will be your best friend. She’ll put you first and never let you down.
She was shy at first. But she became my best friend.
She put me first. She also laughed at my jokes.
She never let me down. She also cried when I failed my test.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Jordan Story
A Jordan Story is when something starts with all the hype of a pizza party but ends up being a soggy slice of bread. It has no point and no punchline, just Jordan Frasca laughing at you like you’re the joke.
A 10-page story about getting a C+ on a math test. No one cares. Jordan just laughs.
A 3-hour monologue about a sock. The sock never shows up. Jordan texts you a cat meme.
A story about getting lost in the mall. Then it ends. No resolution. Jordan says, 'I knew this was gonna be bad.'
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Jordan Story
A Jordan Story is like when you build a spaceship to go to Mars, only to realize it was just a bike. It has zero climax and feels like a waste of your time. Jordan just sits there grinning like she won the lottery.
A story about a trip to the grocery store. It takes 12 paragraphs. Jordan says, 'I saw this coming from a mile away.'
A 20-minute explanation of a toaster. Then it breaks. Jordan texts, 'I knew that toaster was gonna die.'
A story about a cat. No cat. Just Jordan laughing in the background.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Jordan Story
A Jordan Story is when you’re halfway through a movie and realize it’s just a hot dog eating contest. It has no real end, just Jordan Frasca cackling like she’s the king of the universe.
A story about a pencil. It’s not even a good pencil. Jordan texts, 'I saw this coming.'
A 5-page story about a nap. No one wakes up. Jordan says, 'I knew this was gonna be boring.'
A story about a sneaker. It never moves. Jordan laughs like it’s the best thing ever.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Jordan Story
A Jordan Story is when you write a novel about a spoon and then it forgets what it’s doing. It’s like watching a show that ends before the first commercial. Jordan just sits there like she planned it all.
A 12-paragraph story about a spoon. The spoon never does anything. Jordan texts, 'I knew it was gonna be weak.'
A story about a banana. The banana never ripens. Jordan says, 'I saw this coming from a mile away.'
A story about a desk. The desk doesn’t even get a name. Jordan laughs like it’s the funniest thing she’s ever heard.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Jordan Story
A Jordan Story is when you go through all the trouble of baking a cake, only to burn it. It has no real end and makes you feel like you just got slapped. Jordan just laughs like she’s the best friend you never needed.
A story about a cake. It burns. Jordan says, 'I told you it was gonna be bad.'
A 10-page story about a cookie. The cookie never gets eaten. Jordan texts a dog meme.
A story about a pie. The pie never gets cut. Jordan says, 'I knew this was gonna be boring.'
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Jordan Story
A Jordan Story is like when you start a war over a soda can, only to forget what the war was about. It’s got no point and no punch. Jordan just laughs like she’s the most important person in the world.
A 12-paragraph story about a soda can. The can never gets opened. Jordan texts, 'I knew that was gonna be weak.'
A story about a pizza. The pizza never arrives. Jordan says, 'I saw this coming from a mile away.'
A story about a war. The war never starts. Jordan laughs like it’s the best thing ever.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Jorah
This girl is a goddamn legend. She bakes like a pro, looks like a model, and roasts people like they owe her money. She’d rather read a book or binge-watch a show than go anywhere. She’s gonna be rich and famous one day. Love this kid to death.
Jorah: I made a cake so good, my dog cried. You? You’re just here to eat it.
Jorah: You look like you’ve been hit by a truck. I feel bad for you.
Jorah: I’m gonna be a filmmaker. You’re gonna be a footnote in my story.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Jorah
So good, so pretty, and that trumpet? That boy plays it like it’s his last breath. She’s the kind of friend who’ll help you move and then laugh at your bad decisions. Her name is amazing, and she’s like Uber-duper cool. Just don’t question it.
Jorah: I just played the trumpet so loud, my neighbor called the cops.
Jorah: I’ll help you move. But you have to promise me you won’t die in the process.
Jorah: My name is so good, it should be on a billboard.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Jorah
This guy is a total waste of oxygen. He plays hockey and lacrosse like it’s his job. He’s dumb as a rock and thinks anime is better than real life.
Jorah: I got a goal in hockey. You? You got a bruise on your face.
Jorah: I watch anime. You watch your life pass you by.
Jorah: I play lacrosse like I’ve got nothing better to do.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Jorah
Forever stuck in the friend zone. He’s nice and all, but he’ll never get the girl. He’s just doomed to be the guy who’s always there but never noticed.
Jorah: I’ve been your friend for years. Why won’t you date me?
Jorah: I’m nice. I’m caring. But I’ll never get the girl.
Jorah: You’re my friend. That’s all I’ll ever be.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Jorah
This guy is a total dummy. He plays hockey and lacrosse, and he’s obsessed with anime. He’s like a brain-dead zombie who thinks he’s cool.
Jorah: I play lacrosse. You? You just stand there and look confused.
Jorah: I watch anime. You watch your life pass you by.
Jorah: I’m a dummy. You’re just a brain-dead zombie.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Jorah
A guy who’s actually nice and kind, but people think he’s a fuckboy or a jerk because of how he dresses, talks, or who he hangs out with. He’s just trying to live his life, but everyone else is trying to ruin it.
Jorah: I’m nice. You think I’m a fuckboy because I wear a cool shirt.
Jorah: I’m just trying to live my life. You’re just trying to ruin it.
Jorah: I’m not a jerk. You’re just a dumbass who doesn’t know me.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Jono
The most awesome dude in the whole universe. A man who makes women swoon and men want to punch him.
'Jono walked in and the whole bar stopped talking.'
'He’s the only man I’ve ever seen who can make a barista blush.'
'Jono showed up and my ex started crying.'
by Slangipedia 16d ago
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