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Dad Rat
A rat that a dad keeps around to feel like he's still cool. It's probably been eating expired pizza and sleeping in a shoebox.
Dad says the rat is his 'sidekick.' It's not. It's just a rat.
The rat has a name. It's 'Benny.' No one knows why.
He brings it to barbecues. It's like a bad party trick.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Rat
A rat that lives in a dad's house and probably hates him. It's covered in dirt, bad breath, and old soda.
Dad says the rat loves him. It just stares at him like he's a bad idea.
It's been living in the trash for years. It's got a life of its own.
He tried to make it a pet. It bit him. Hard.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Rap
Rap music from the 80s and 90s that only your dad listens to and knows all the lyrics by heart even though he can't remember his own phone number.
'I know every word to "Fight the Power" but I don't know where my keys are.'
He plays "Rock Box" at every family gathering like it's the national anthem.
He yells the lyrics at the top of his lungs in the car like he's in a rap battle with a ghost.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Rap
A type of rap where the rapper tells bad jokes like your dad does at Thanksgiving and makes you want to die.
'Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... and then he fell into a pit of dad jokes.'
He raps about pizza and then asks if anyone wants a side of puns.
He drops a verse and then says, 'I told you I was a comedian.'
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Rap
A guy who has a kid and also raps like he's trying to get back at the world for giving him a kid.
'I rap about my kid and my ex like they're my enemies.'
He posts videos of himself rapping in his pajamas and calls it 'parental rap time.'
He raps to his kid and then asks if he wants to know the punchline.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Rage
When a dad loses his cool because his kid just destroyed his brand new car like it was a toy.
My kid totaled my car and now I'm gonna kill him with a spoon.
He crashed my car into a tree and I'm gonna murder him with a chainsaw.
My kid ran my brand new car into a ditch and I'm gonna punch him until he's a pancake.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Rage
The moment a dad sees his new car in pieces and his kid is grinning like he just won the lottery.
He saw my car in pieces and he screamed like I had stolen his soul.
My dad saw my car wrecked and he threw a chair at me like it was a missile.
He looked at my crumpled car and said, 'You're dead meat.'
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Rage
When a dad's new car gets wrecked by his kid and he's so mad he could punch a hole in the sky.
My dad saw my car wrecked and he yelled so loud the neighbors called the cops.
He crashed my car and my dad said, 'I’m gonna eat you for breakfast.'
My kid destroyed my car and my dad threw a shoe at him like it was a grenade.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Pun
A joke so bad it makes your teeth hurt. Usually a pun. Made by dads who think they're funny but are actually just sad. They tell these jokes to impress their kids' friends and make everyone cringe.
Dad: "Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side." Kids: "Why?" Dad: "Because it was tired."
At the dinner table, Dad says, "I’m like a pizza, I’m the main dish." No one knows what that means.
Dad tries to be cool by saying, "I’m a square, I’m a box, I’m a rectangle." Everyone is confused and annoyed.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Pun
A joke that’s so weak it can’t even hold up a fridge. Usually comes from a dad who thinks he’s cool. He tells it to save face in front of his kid’s friends and fails hard.
Dad: "Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems." No one laughs. Just silence and a facepalm.
Dad says, "I’m like a sandwich, I’m in the middle." Everyone stares at him like he’s a ghost.
Dad tries to be funny by saying, "I’m like a phone, I can be turned on and off." His kid is now crying.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Pun
A joke so bad it’s a crime. Usually a pun. Made by a dad who thinks he’s the funniest person in the world. He tells it to his kid’s friends and makes everyone want to die.
Dad says, "Why did the ghost go to the party? Because he was a bit of a spook." No one laughs. Just death stares.
Dad tells a joke about a banana and a truck. No one knows what it means. It’s like being tortured.
Dad says, "I’m like a fish, I live in water." His kid says, "You live in a bathroom." Dad: "That’s not true."
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Poo
The smelly disaster left in the bathroom after a dad takes a dump like it's a final exam and he's been studying for 20 years.
My dad took a dump in the toilet and now the bathroom smells like a garbage truck exploded.
I walked into the bathroom and my dad was like, 'You're early!' I was like, 'I was late to my life.'
The smell of Dad Poo is so strong it could knock out a horse.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Poo
A smelly dump so bad it could make your mom cry and your dog run away in fear.
My dad took a dump and the smell hit me like I was in a trash can.
I came home and my dad was like, 'I just did my business.' I was like, 'You did your business in my brain.'
Dad Poo is so bad my dog ran out of the house screaming.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Poem
A collection of dad jokes so bad they make your brain want to quit its job.
Your dad says, 'I once had a pet goat named Larry. He died. Now I have a goat named Larry 2.0.'
Your mom texts you, 'Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... which was also chicken-themed.'
Your uncle yells at a pizza, 'You're not a triangle, you're a circle with a bad attitude!'
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Poem
When a dad’s jokes combine into one giant cheese ball that smells like regret and old socks.
At the grocery store, your dad says, 'Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!'
Your cousin sends you a DM: 'I told my dog a joke. He laughed... and then ate my homework.'
Your dad starts a conversation with, 'I had a dream I was a chicken. It was a nightmare.'
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Poem
A pile of jokes so bad they could make a dead man laugh... and then die again.
Your dad says, 'Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.'
Your aunt texts you, 'I told my plants a joke. One of them laughed... and the other just died.'
Your uncle yells, 'I once had a job as a ghost. It was a bad move!'
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Pat
A Dad Pat is like getting smacked by a pillow that’s been dipped in swear words and then microwaved.
My dad gave me a Dad Pat after I failed math again.
The coach gave me a Dad Pat for not showing up to practice.
My uncle gave me a Dad Pat after I said my mom’s bad joke.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Pat
It’s so good it should be illegal. Like a warm hug from a swear-filled dad.
That Dad Pat from my dad made me feel like I could win the lottery.
The principal gave me a Dad Pat after I cried in the hallway.
My brother gave me a Dad Pat after I ate all his pizza.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Pat
It’s when a dad figure pats you like you’re a kid who just got caught eating cake for breakfast.
My dad gave me a Dad Pat after I spilled juice on my homework.
The teacher gave me a Dad Pat after I drew a mustache on the principal’s face.
My cousin gave me a Dad Pat after I ate all his candy.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
Dad Pat
It’s when a dad figure pats a dog like it’s a kid who just got caught eating cake for breakfast.
My dad gave my dog a Dad Pat after it ate my homework.
The mailman gave my dog a Dad Pat after it barked at his bike.
My uncle gave my dog a Dad Pat after it stole his sandwich.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
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