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A Teddy Ruxpin
Getting a big juicy blow job at a gas station while the person behind the counter stares like they’re judging your life.
I got a blow job at a gas station and the person behind the counter looked like they were going to cry
My brother got a blow job at a gas station and it was the best day ever
My mom got a blow job at a gas station and now she’s the best mom ever
by Slangipedia 19d ago
A Teddy Ruxpin
When a guy is having sex with a girl and instead of finishing, he pulls out and cums on a bear’s face like it’s a toilet.
My brother did this to his crush and it was the worst thing ever
My dad did this to my mom and now she’s mad
My cousin did this to his girlfriend and now they’re married
by Slangipedia 19d ago
A Teddy Ruxpin
When a guy is having sex with a girl and opens the window so his partner can bite a glow worm while he reads a book and jabs like a robot.
My brother did this and his partner bit a glow worm and screamed like a baby
My dad did this and it was the best sex ever
My cousin did this and it smelled like a garbage can
by Slangipedia 19d ago
A Teddy Roosevelt
A drunk mess where you chug beer, shoot vodka, whiskey, and rum, then mix it with crushed Adderall and drink it through a beer bong like a feral animal.
My cousin made a Teddy Roosevelt and passed out on the floor.
I tried a Teddy Roosevelt and ended up crying in the bathroom.
My friend drank a Teddy Roosevelt and tried to marry the fridge.
by Slangipedia 19d ago
A Teddy Roosevelt
Teddy Roosevelt is a god who could punch the moon and make it bleed. He was a one-man army who stared people to death and made horses come out of the ground by whistling.
My history teacher said Teddy Roosevelt could make a bear cry.
I think Teddy Roosevelt would beat up my dad in a duel.
My mom said Teddy Roosevelt could make her soup taste like gold.
by Slangipedia 19d ago
A Teddy Roosevelt
A president who fought like a wild man, broke up big businesses, and stood up to the whole country if he had to.
Teddy Roosevelt would fight my brother for my last candy bar.
My teacher said Teddy Roosevelt could out-scream a bullhorn.
I bet Teddy Roosevelt could beat up my uncle in a wrestling match.
by Slangipedia 19d ago
A Teddy Roosevelt
The toughest president ever, who liked to ride, hunt, and never let a bear win.
My dad said Teddy Roosevelt would beat up my dog.
I think Teddy Roosevelt would ride a bear to school.
My brother said Teddy Roosevelt could beat up the whole class in a fight.
by Slangipedia 19d ago
A Teddy Roosevelt
A dirty way to have sex with sandpaper and no mercy, like a wild animal.
My friend tried a Teddy Roosevelt and screamed like a baby.
I saw my brother do a Teddy Roosevelt and he looked like a meatball.
My cousin said she did a Teddy Roosevelt and it hurt like a thousand bees.
by Slangipedia 19d ago
A Teddy Roosevelt
When your partner ignores your cum on their chest and keeps going like it never happened.
My brother did a Teddy Roosevelt and his girlfriend didn't even flinch.
I saw my friend do a Teddy Roosevelt and his girlfriend just smiled.
My mom said she'd do a Teddy Roosevelt even if I threw spaghetti at her.
by Slangipedia 19d ago
A Teddy Roosevelt
A guy who fights like a wild man in bed, like a rodeo rider.
My friend said he had a Teddy Roosevelt and it was wild.
I think Teddy Roosevelt would beat up my dog in bed.
My cousin did a Teddy Roosevelt and she screamed like a monster.
by Slangipedia 19d ago
A Ted cruise
A Ted Cruise is when you bail on your job, leaving your coworkers to rot while you sit on a beach sipping drinks and laughing at their misery.
I left the office during a blackout to go to Vegas. My boss was still trying to figure out why the lights went out.
She took a trip to Hawaii while we were stuck in a blizzard. She texted me a photo of a cocktail and a tan.
He skipped town for a week while the city was on fire. He came back with sunburn and a new haircut.
by Slangipedia 19d ago
A Ted cruise
A Ted Cruise is the art of taking a break while everyone else is busy dying, and you're busy living.
He went to Bali while we were still cleaning up after the hurricane. He posted a selfie with a coconut and a smirk.
She took a week off during a blackout. We had to light candles and eat cold pizza.
He left during a blackout and came back with a tan and a new suit. We had no heat, no water, and no respect.
by Slangipedia 19d ago
A Ted cruise
A Ted Cruise is when you get a vacation while your people are stuck in the cold, with no power, no water, and no dignity.
He went to Mexico while we were stuck with no heat and no light. He came back with a tan and a new attitude.
She took a trip while we were freezing our butts off. She sent a message saying 'I miss you, but I also miss the beach.'
He took a vacation while the city was in chaos. He came back with sunburn and no remorse.
by Slangipedia 19d ago
A Ted cruise
A Ted Cruise is when you're a senator from Texas and you take a vacation to Cancun while your people are stuck in the cold with no power, no heat, and no respect.
He went to Cancun while we were still waiting for the power to come back. He posted a picture of a cocktail and a tan.
She took a trip to the Bahamas while we were still dealing with the snow. She sent a message saying 'I miss you, but I miss the beach more.'
He went to a tropical island while we were stuck in a blizzard. He came back with a new tan and a new attitude.
by Slangipedia 19d ago
A Ted cruise
A Ted Cruise is when you're supposed to be the hero, but you leave and go somewhere else instead.
He was supposed to help us during the blackout, but he went to Las Vegas. He came back with a new attitude and a new tan.
She was supposed to save the day, but she took a trip to the Caribbean. She came back with a tan and no sympathy.
He was supposed to be our savior, but he went to the beach. He came back with a new suit and no heart.
by Slangipedia 19d ago
A Ted cruise
A Ted Cruise is when you leave your friends, family, and coworkers behind when things get tough, and you go somewhere nice.
He left during the blackout to go to Hawaii. He came back with a tan and no remorse.
She skipped town during the storm to go to Florida. She came back with a new tan and no mercy.
He left during the hurricane to go to the beach. He came back with sunburn and a new attitude.
by Slangipedia 19d ago
A Ted cruise
A Ted Cruise is when you kill everyone and then go on a vacation.
He killed his coworkers and went to the Bahamas. He came back with a tan and no remorse.
She took out the whole office and went to Mexico. She came back with a new tan and a new attitude.
He went on a murder spree and then took a vacation. He came back with a new suit and no heart.
by Slangipedia 19d ago
A Ted Talk
A big show-offy speech that no one asked for. You talk for ages and no one says a word. You can be fake-smart or just fake. It’s like the last punchline of a joke no one gets.
At the company meeting, Bob gave a Ted Talk about the importance of coffee. No one asked for it. No one said anything. No one even drank coffee.
My teacher gave a Ted Talk about why the sky is blue. I fell asleep. I stayed asleep. I dreamed about the sky being purple.
My mom did a Ted Talk about her cat. It was 45 minutes. The cat yawned. The cat left.
by Slangipedia 19d ago
A Ted Talk
A fake fancy way to say someone just said something obvious. Like a science experiment with no real results. It’s for people who think they’re smart but aren’t.
My friend said, 'I discovered gravity.' I said, 'That’s a Ted Talk.'
My teacher said, 'I’ve found a new way to do math.' I said, 'That’s a Ted Talk.'
My dog did a Ted Talk about his favorite toy. It was a sock.
by Slangipedia 19d ago
A Ted Talk
A brainy party where everyone is super smart and everyone’s getting laid. It’s like a brainy group sex party but with more thinking and less embarrassment.
The Ted Talk party was the best. Everyone was smart, everyone was sexy, and no one remembered the punchline.
I went to a Ted Talk party. I had sex with three scientists. I forgot my name.
At the Ted Talk party, I had sex with a mathematician. I still don’t know what he said.
by Slangipedia 19d ago
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