A Teddy Ruxpin

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When someone slaps another person’s butt while telling them a story. A tape jam happens when the person being slapped screams like a dying raccoon.

My cousin did this to my dog while telling it about a dragon named Frank

My mom did this to my dad while telling him about the time she got a ticket

My brother did this to my sister while telling her about his first kiss

A talking bear from the 80s that eats cassettes for breakfast. He has a sidekick named Grubby who looks like a messy sock with legs.

Teddy Ruxpin ate my mom’s cassette tape and now my mom is crying

Grubby came to my house and ate my brother’s shoe

Teddy Ruxpin and Grubby went on a road trip and ate all my snacks

When two people stick their butts together and one person shits on the other like they’re a toilet.

My brother and his friend did this in the bathroom and it smelled like a garbage can

My mom and dad did this in the car and it scared the baby

My sister and her crush did this in the park and it was the worst thing ever

A giant bear that comes out of your closet and tries to kill you while telling you bedtime stories in a scary voice.

Teddy Ruxpin came out of my closet and tried to eat my dog

My brother’s Teddy Ruxpin came out of his closet and tried to kill him

My mom’s Teddy Ruxpin came out of her closet and tried to eat my dad

Getting a big juicy blow job at a gas station while the person behind the counter stares like they’re judging your life.

I got a blow job at a gas station and the person behind the counter looked like they were going to cry

My brother got a blow job at a gas station and it was the best day ever

My mom got a blow job at a gas station and now she’s the best mom ever

When a guy is having sex with a girl and instead of finishing, he pulls out and cums on a bear’s face like it’s a toilet.

My brother did this to his crush and it was the worst thing ever

My dad did this to my mom and now she’s mad

My cousin did this to his girlfriend and now they’re married

When a guy is having sex with a girl and opens the window so his partner can bite a glow worm while he reads a book and jabs like a robot.

My brother did this and his partner bit a glow worm and screamed like a baby

My dad did this and it was the best sex ever

My cousin did this and it smelled like a garbage can