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Easy Jesus
The drink that homeless drunks sip on like it’s liquid gold, even though it’s just cheap alcohol in a fancy bottle.
I woke up with a hangover and a bottle of Easy Jesus. Guess I’m rich now.
Easy Jesus is the only thing keeping me from crying in the alley.
That Easy Jesus cost me $10. I should’ve just bought a burger.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Easy Jesus
A fancy name for a lousy drink that costs more than your lunch money but tastes like regret.
Easy Jesus is just a fancy name for my problems.
I paid for Easy Jesus with my dignity.
That Easy Jesus cost me my last dollar. Now I’m broke and drunk.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Easy Izzy
A person who will sleep with anyone but still wants a little respect
I dated 12 guys last month but still dumped me for being too clingy.
He’ll bang the barista but won’t text back.
She’ll sleep with the mailman but won’t take my calls.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Easy Izzy
Someone who’ll take your lunch money but still wants a seat at the cool table
He’ll kiss your mom but won’t let you sit with the popular kids.
She’ll date the janitor but won’t be seen with you at lunch.
He’ll take your homework but still wants to be in the group chat.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Easy Izzy
A person who’ll take your pizza but still wants a coupon for free soda
She’ll eat your last slice but won’t give you a soda.
He’ll steal your fries but still wants to be in the group photo.
She’ll take your lunch but still wants to be in the club.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Easy Izzy
A person who’ll take your money but still wants a free pass to the prom
He’ll charge you $20 for a ride but still wants to go to prom with you.
She’ll take your allowance but still wants a seat in the front row.
He’ll borrow your phone but still wants to be in the yearbook.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Easy Izzy
A person who’ll take your time but still wants a reward
She’ll waste your lunch break but still wants a sticker.
He’ll make you wait but still wants a snack.
She’ll take your test answers but still wants an A.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Easy Izzy
A person who’ll take your money but still wants a free meal
He’ll rob you but still wants a taco.
She’ll take your cash but still wants pizza.
He’ll steal your cash but still wants a soda.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Easy Hole-in-one
A smelly real estate agent who looks like a used pizza box and takes your money just to let you touch her fake boobs. She'll sleep with you if you buy her a drink or send her a DM.
'I'll sell you this house if you promise to lick my toe.'
'He bought me a drink and now he thinks he's my boyfriend.'
'I DM'd her a pic of my cat and she sent me her bra size.'
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Easy Hole-in-one
A fat real estate agent who smells like old cheese and will sleep with anyone who buys her a drink or sends her a DM. She's so round she looks like a tire.
'I bought her a drink and she told me her life story.'
'She DM'd me and said I was her favorite man.'
'She sleeps with every client and calls them her 'honey.'
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Easy Hole-in-one
A gross real estate agent who's as round as a donut and will sleep with anyone who buys her a drink or sends her a DM. She smells like a landfill and talks like she's drunk.
'She asked me to move in with her after I bought her a drink.'
'She DM'd me and said I was her 'sugar daddy.'
'She smells like a landfill and called me her 'big boy.'
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Easy Hanzi
When you're gently poking a girl with your fingers like she's a soft noodle.
I was doing easy hanzi in the back of the classroom and got caught.
She said it felt like a slow-motion ramen break.
He was doing easy hanzi during lunch and got a detention.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Easy Hanzi
When you're slowly finger-fucking a girl and she's too stunned to scream.
He did easy hanzi during the concert and got a standing ovation.
She was too shocked to move during easy hanzi.
He did easy hanzi in the library and got a librarian for a dad.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Easy Hanzi
When you're giving a girl a slow and quiet hand job in public.
He did easy hanzi in the grocery store and got a free bag of chips.
She did easy hanzi in the mall and got a free coupon.
He did easy hanzi on the bus and got a free drink.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Easy Hanzi
When you're doing a hand job so slow it feels like a long lunch break.
He did easy hanzi during his mom's cooking class and got a burnt meal.
She did easy hanzi in the park and got a free ice cream.
He did easy hanzi during a movie and got a standing ovation.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Easy Hanzi
When you're doing a hand job so slow it feels like watching paint dry.
He did easy hanzi during a Zoom call and got a laugh from the whole class.
She did easy hanzi during a yoga class and got a free stretch.
He did easy hanzi during a math test and got a zero.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Easy Hanzi
When you're giving a girl a slow hand job and she's too lazy to move.
He did easy hanzi during a football game and got a free jersey.
She did easy hanzi in the kitchen and got a free snack.
He did easy hanzi during a dance and got a free spin.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Easy Green
Easy Green is stuff that’s green without making you want to die. It’s stuff you can toss in the trash or recycle bin without needing a special truck to pick it up. No fancy recycling centers needed, just your regular bin and a lot of hope.
I bought a biodegradable bag and tossed it in the trash. No special truck needed. Thank you, Easy Green.
My mom bought a recyclable bottle and just threw it in the bin. I’m proud of her.
I tried to recycle a plastic bag but forgot it needed a special truck. Easy Green would’ve saved me.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Easy Green
Easy Green is like when Marjorie Taylor said ‘I can’t believe this is happening’ and then cried into her coffee. It’s the start of what’s going to be the worst presidential run ever, and we’re all going to suffer for it.
Marjorie saw a sign saying ‘Easy Green’ and started crying. I’m not sure why.
She said ‘Easy Green’ and then screamed into her coffee like it was a personal attack.
Marjorie’s campaign started with a tweet: ‘Easy Green is the future. Or at least it should be.’
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Easy Fuck Oven
A hot mess who thinks they're the main character of their own porn.
She showed up to the party in a bra and a potato chip bag. No one asked her to stay.
He tried to propose to her in a gas station. She said yes and then asked for a second opinion.
She texted me at 3 a. m. saying she was 'dying of thirst' and wanted me to bring her a water bottle and a selfie stick.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
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