Easy Jesus

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The drink that homeless drunks sip on like it’s liquid gold, even though it’s just cheap alcohol in a fancy bottle.

I woke up with a hangover and a bottle of Easy Jesus. Guess I’m rich now.

Easy Jesus is the only thing keeping me from crying in the alley.

That Easy Jesus cost me $10. I should’ve just bought a burger.

A fancy name for a lousy drink that costs more than your lunch money but tastes like regret.

Easy Jesus is just a fancy name for my problems.

I paid for Easy Jesus with my dignity.

That Easy Jesus cost me my last dollar. Now I’m broke and drunk.