pageroll
When someone tries to make you excited but it all ends with them cussing you out.
You’re about to see something wild, I swear.
This is going to be legendary.
Flip the page and you’ll see why I’m so cool.
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pager paranoia
When you think your pager just exploded because of the beeping, but it's just your brain screaming at you for forgetting to turn it off.
I heard three beeps and thought my pager was yelling at me. It was just my brain being loud.
My pager didn't go off, but I was so sure it did. My brain is a traitor.
I swear my pager just screamed at me. It wasn't me. It was my brain being a drama queen.
pager paranoia
When your pager feels like it's vibrating, but it's just your leg twitching from sitting too long, and you're too lazy to check.
I thought my pager was vibrating, but it was just my leg being annoying.
I felt a buzz, but it was just my leg trying to take over my body.
My leg was doing the wave, and I thought my pager was being a diva.
pager paranoia
When you're convinced your pager is going off every time a car revs, like it's personally mocking you for being late to work.
That car reved and I thought my pager was giving me the finger.
Every time a car makes noise, I swear my pager is laughing at me.
I thought my pager was going off, but it was just a car being a jerk.
pager code
Back in the 90s, pagers were the cool kids’ toy, and they had this stupid code where numbers stood for letters. It was like a bad math test, and everyone failed it.
4 U 2 B 4 2 7 7 7
17 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7
11 11 11 2 5 5 5 5
pager code
Pager codes were like the worst secret language ever. You’d get a bunch of numbers and have no idea what they meant. It was like trying to read a fart joke in Braille.
2 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5
111 0 3 1 2 5 5 5 5 5
17 17 17 17 7 7 7 7 7
pager
A tiny beeping machine that people used to carry around like it was the most important thing in the world. Now everyone just uses their phones and pagers are just sad relics of the past.
My grandma still has a pager and it beeps like it's trying to scream.
My uncle got paged during my mom’s funeral and walked out like he didn’t care.
My teacher got paged during class and it was just her ex sending her a stupid message.
pager
A crackhead who’s too lazy to get a real job but still has the energy to steal your stuff and try to sell it back to you for more crack.
This guy stole my lunch and tried to sell it back to me for $10. I told him to eat his own food.
My neighbor’s pager is a crackhead who pawned my kid’s toy for a bag of rocks.
He stole my pizza and came back with a half-eaten slice and a bad attitude.
pager
A dirty crackhead who steals your stuff and then tries to sell it to you like it’s brand new, even though it was still warm from your hands.
This crackhead stole my mom’s Christmas gift and tried to sell it to her for $5.
He took my brand new phone and tried to sell it back to me for a bag of crack.
He stole my kid’s favorite toy and came back with a broken version.
pager
When you pretend to know what a news article is about just because you saw the title on Facebook and it looked cool.
I said I read the whole article about the president, but I just saw the first line on Facebook.
I told my teacher I read the whole science article, but I only saw the headline.
I said I understood the whole article about the moon landing, but I only read the first sentence.
pager
A person who loves Elliot Page so much they act like they know her personally. They might even wear her shirt and talk to people like they’re her best friend.
My friend wore Elliot Page’s shirt and told everyone she was her cousin.
I saw a guy wearing Elliot Page’s shirt and he said he dated her.
My teacher got into an argument with another teacher because she said she knew Elliot Page better.
pager
A hot guy who doesn’t even try to impress girls but still ends up with them. He probably just smiles and they fall for it.
That guy just smiled at me and I instantly fell for him.
He didn’t even try to talk to me and I still said yes.
He walked by and I felt like I was on fire.
pager
A wad of cash wrapped in a rubber band. A pager is just a pager, but gold is a wad of cash. Used by dealers to pay for drugs.
The dealer gave me a wad of cash and said it was gold.
He wrapped a bunch of cash in a rubber band and called it gold.
I got a wad of cash and he said that was my gold.
pagent queen
A girl who looks like a hot mess but only because she slaps on fake tan, bleaches her teeth, sticks fake hair on her head, wears colored contacts, and drowns her face in makeup. She’s not real. She’s just a glorified mannequin.
My cousin tried to be a pagent queen but looked like a raccoon who got hit by a glitter bomb.
She showed up to the party with a face that looked like it had been painted by a drunk clown.
She tried to do her own makeup and ended up looking like a zombie who dipped her face in glitter.
pagent queen
Any normal girl who turns into a walking beauty disaster with the help of spray tan, teeth whitening, fake hair, contacts, and enough makeup to blind a horse.
She looked like a unicorn who lost a bet and had to wear a face full of glitter.
She tried to be a pagent queen but looked like a raccoon who had a face meltdown.
She walked in like she was going to win, but her face looked like it had been dipped in glitter and glitter glue.
pagent queen
A girl who turns into a total fake-out with the help of spray tan, bleached teeth, fake hair, contacts, and enough makeup to make a cat cry.
She came in like a princess but looked like a raccoon who had a glitter overdose.
She tried to be a pagent queen but looked like a monster who had a face paint party.
She showed up and looked like a glitter explosion had gone wrong.
pageman
A person who can suck a dick so good it feels like you’re getting a free blowjob.
I saw my brother’s friend and thought, 'That’s a pageman.'
My ex said I was a pageman, and I didn’t argue.
He’s a pageman, and I’m still waiting for my turn.
pageman
A person who can take a dick and make it look like it’s getting a standing ovation.
At the party, she was the pageman of the night.
My cousin’s a pageman, and he’s got a medal for it.
He asked me if I was a pageman, and I said, 'No, I’m just here to suffer.'
pagelynn
Pagelynn is a super smart unicorn who looks like a hot mess but still gets praised for it. She talks loud and acts like she owns the place, but deep down she’s just a big softie who loves her friends and family more than her own hair.
Pagelynn yelled at the whole school for eating my lunch. I died.
My cousin said Pagelynn looked like a raccoon in a glitter bomb. She laughed and threw glitter at him.
Pagelynn told my mom she was the best mom ever. Then she said she was the best friend ever. Then she yelled at the dog.
pagelynn
Pagelynn is like a unicorn who’s half genius and half trouble. She’s hot, funny, and will probably outsmart you in math and still make you cry because of her bad jokes.
Pagelynn made me cry with a math problem and a joke about pizza. It was brutal.
She called my dad ‘a math loser’ in front of everyone. He cried.
Pagelynn texted me a math problem and a meme. I failed both.