Back in the 90s, pagers were the cool kids’ toy, and they had this stupid code where numbers stood for letters. It was like a bad math test, and everyone failed it.
Pager codes were like the worst secret language ever. You’d get a bunch of numbers and have no idea what they meant. It was like trying to read a fart joke in Braille.
A tiny beeping machine that people used to carry around like it was the most important thing in the world. Now everyone just uses their phones and pagers are just sad relics of the past.
My grandma still has a pager and it beeps like it's trying to scream.
My uncle got paged during my mom’s funeral and walked out like he didn’t care.
My teacher got paged during class and it was just her ex sending her a stupid message.
A person who loves Elliot Page so much they act like they know her personally. They might even wear her shirt and talk to people like they’re her best friend.
My friend wore Elliot Page’s shirt and told everyone she was her cousin.
I saw a guy wearing Elliot Page’s shirt and he said he dated her.
My teacher got into an argument with another teacher because she said she knew Elliot Page better.
A girl who looks like a hot mess but only because she slaps on fake tan, bleaches her teeth, sticks fake hair on her head, wears colored contacts, and drowns her face in makeup. She’s not real. She’s just a glorified mannequin.
My cousin tried to be a pagent queen but looked like a raccoon who got hit by a glitter bomb.
She showed up to the party with a face that looked like it had been painted by a drunk clown.
She tried to do her own makeup and ended up looking like a zombie who dipped her face in glitter.
Any normal girl who turns into a walking beauty disaster with the help of spray tan, teeth whitening, fake hair, contacts, and enough makeup to blind a horse.
She looked like a unicorn who lost a bet and had to wear a face full of glitter.
She tried to be a pagent queen but looked like a raccoon who had a face meltdown.
She walked in like she was going to win, but her face looked like it had been dipped in glitter and glitter glue.
Pagelynn is a super smart unicorn who looks like a hot mess but still gets praised for it. She talks loud and acts like she owns the place, but deep down she’s just a big softie who loves her friends and family more than her own hair.
Pagelynn yelled at the whole school for eating my lunch. I died.
My cousin said Pagelynn looked like a raccoon in a glitter bomb. She laughed and threw glitter at him.
Pagelynn told my mom she was the best mom ever. Then she said she was the best friend ever. Then she yelled at the dog.
Pagelynn is like a unicorn who’s half genius and half trouble. She’s hot, funny, and will probably outsmart you in math and still make you cry because of her bad jokes.
Pagelynn made me cry with a math problem and a joke about pizza. It was brutal.
She called my dad ‘a math loser’ in front of everyone. He cried.
Pagelynn texted me a math problem and a meme. I failed both.