A Jabbo is a bunch of boys who are all losers but somehow end up being friends because everyone else is either a nerdy weirdo, a fat kid who eats like a horse, or a special ed kid who screams the Mario song to himself. They include a loud posh kid who drinks tea and eats like he's being paid, a penguin-walking weirdo, a flirt who has a girlfriend but still hits on everyone, a motorhead who smokes a ton and gives out free fags, and the good-looking one who acts normal in public but goes full psycho when no one is watching.
My Jabbo group is the worst. We all just hang out because no one else is sane.
The penguin boy walks into the lunchroom and I know it's going to be a bad day.
The good-looking one texted me a picture of a pizza and a dead fish. I don't know what that means.
A giant, messy human who looks like a Chubacca that got run over by a truck. They’re usually too lazy to clean up and end up working at HILO driving or making stickers that look like a raccoon threw up on them.
This guy looks like he came out of a trash can and forgot to shower.
He drives like he’s trying to get run over by a bus.
His stickers look like a toddler drew them with a crayon and a broken pencil.
This Jon Jon is a hood legend. He got a metal plate in his jaw and beat the crap out of a pitbull. One nigga named Jay tried to fight him and got his hand broken for his trouble.
That Jon Jon could take out a whole football team with one punch.
He’s like the pitbull version of a superhero.
Jay tried to fight him and now he can’t even hold a cup of coffee.
A man who looks like a god, has a personality that could charm the devil, and a penis so big it could make a whale jealous. He’s the kind of guy who could get any girl to fall for him with just a wink.
He’s like a god walking into a bar and everyone looks up.
He flirts so well, even the barista falls for him.
He’s the kind of guy that could get a girl to forget her own name.
A Rocket League player who plays like they’re drunk and using a blindfold. They crash into walls and miss the easiest shots like it’s a personal attack.
He crashed into a wall so hard, the wall cried.
He missed the easiest shot like he was blind.
He plays like he got hit by a truck and forgot how to drive.
When a clueless freshman or sophomore decides to blow smoke in the bathroom instead of actually being in class. It’s like they think they’re in a movie and not a high school.
DM: 'I got caught vaping in the bathroom again. I’m gonna die.'
Tweet: 'A Jul is when I pretend I’m a cool person and not a failure.'
Text: 'I skipped math for a Jul. I’ll fail. I don’t care.'
The most amazing girl in the world. She’s the one who pranks you with glitter and takes selfies with a Sharpie. She’s the reason you’re still friends with her.
Text: 'Jul just came to my class and drew a mustache on my face. I look like a clown.'
Tweet: 'Jul is the best. She gave me glitter and a camera. I’m gonna take revenge.'
DM: 'Jul is my best friend. She’s like a unicorn with a camera.'
A Swedish tradition where they cut people’s throats to please the gods. It’s like a horror movie but in real life. And they still call it Jul instead of Christmas.
Text: 'Jul is like a Viking horror movie. People get slaughtered for the gods.'
Tweet: 'Jul is the worst. Vikings cut people’s throats. I wouldn’t want to be a god.'
DM: 'Jul is the reason I don’t want to be a Viking.'