Discover Slang

Dafuckizdat? I just got a text from my ex saying she’s married to a man named Steve.

Dafuckizdat? Why is my pizza covered in ketchup?

Dafuckizdat? My dog just stole my homework.

Dafuckizdat? I walked into a library and it was just me and a cat.

Dafuckizdat? My math teacher said I failed because I drew a unicorn on my test.

Dafuckizdat? My mom says I’m grounded for the rest of my life.

Dafuckizdat? My dog just ate my laptop and now I can’t do my homework.

Dafuckizdat? I tried to text my crush and I sent a picture of my face in a toaster.

Dafuckizdat? I got a D on my math test and my mom is gonna kill me.

Dafuckizdat? My teacher said I can’t wear pajamas to school.

Dafuckizdat? My friend’s cat is now the president of the United States.

Dafuckizdat? I tried to eat my math homework and it tasted like glitter.

Dafuckizdat? I woke up and my dog was wearing my hat.

Dafuckizdat? My teacher said I have to wear a chicken suit for the rest of the year.

Dafuckizdat? I tried to text my crush and it came out as ‘I love u’ in all caps and emojis.

i ate that expired pizza and now i feel like i swallowed a dead rat

that bathroom smelled like a combination of socks and regret

the soup was so bad it should have been banned by the government

that movie was worse than watching my cousin’s graduation speech

the cake looked like it had been hit by a truck and then left in the rain

the smell of that cheese made me question my life choices

that food was like a prison sentence for my taste buds

the smell of that shirt was enough to make me run for my life

i could feel my soul leaving my body after one whiff of that sandwich

that movie was so bad my dog fell asleep in the middle of it

the food was so bad it made my uncle cry

the smell of that room was so bad my grandma left

that smell was so bad i could have paid to be poisoned

the food looked like it had been thrown at a wall and then stepped on

i could have lived in that trash and been happy

that smell was so bad i wanted to burn my nose

the food looked like it had been tortured

i could have quit my job just to avoid that sandwich

I said I can't do math. Now I don't have to do math. Thank you.

I fake-dropped my phone in the toilet. Now I don't have to clean it.

I said I don't know how to use the printer. Now I don't have to use the printer.

I said I can't read. Now I don't have to read the instructions.

I said I don't know how to use the internet. Now I don't have to use the internet.

I said I'm too tired to answer questions. Now I don't have to answer questions.

I said I can't cook. Now I don't have to cook dinner.

I said I don't know how to use the computer. Now I don't have to use the computer.

I said I can't write. Now I don't have to write anything.

I said I can't drive. Now I don't have to drive anywhere.

I said I don't know how to use the phone. Now I don't have to use the phone.

I said I'm too dumb to help. Now I don't have to help.

I said I can't count. Now I don't have to count anything.

I said I don't know how to use the printer. Now I don't have to use the printer.

I said I'm too dumb to talk. Now I don't have to talk.

I said I can't spell. Now I don't have to spell anything.

I said I don't know how to use the internet. Now I don't have to use the internet.

I said I can't write. Now I don't have to write anything.

My cousin’s dafty, he tried to fix the TV with a banana.

She called her boss a dafty for wearing socks with sandals.

He’s a dafty if he thinks that sandwich is edible.

He’s a dafty, he asked for a pizza and got a tuna sandwich.

My dafty uncle thinks he’s a wizard because he can tie his shoelaces.

She’s a dafty, she tried to tell me a joke and it was just a cough.

He’s a dafty, he ran into the street wearing a banana costume.

She’s a dafty, she danced in the shop when the lights went out.

My dafty mate thinks he’s a superhero because he can do a cartwheel.