A reason to live
jack avery, the man who makes everyone’s life worth it, like literally
jack avery is the reason i’m still alive
he’s so hot i might die of happiness
jack avery is the reason i don’t commit suicide every day
Discover Slang
A reason to live
becoming a milf, dilf, or pilf, which is basically being a parent and still being hot
i’m a pilf and i’m still hot
my kid is cute and i’m hot, that’s a win
i’m a milf and i still have my life together
A reason to live
you want to die but you don’t want to because you’re a lazy ass
i want to die but i’m too lazy to do it
i’m dead inside but i’m still alive
why bother dying when i can just be dead inside
A reason to live
you can’t explain your reasons so you just say this instead
i have no idea why i’m still alive
i can’t explain my reasons so i’m just saying this
i’m alive and i have no idea why
A really tight one
When a black guy uses a tiny condom to cram a white girl so small she looks like a snack
He said she was so tiny he had to use a mini condom like it was a snack wrapper.
He texted me, 'This girl is like a Twix bar, sweet and small.'
He posted a selfie with the girl and the condom, captioned 'This is how you snack on a girl.'
A really tight one
When a black man uses a mini condom to have sex with a white girl so small she might be a doll
He said she was so tiny he thought she was a doll from a toy store.
He DM'd me, 'This girl is so small, I’m worried she might break.'
He posted a video of the girl and said, 'This is how you play with a doll.'
A really tight one
When a black guy uses a mini condom to have sex with a white girl so small she looks like a kid
He said she was like a kid who just started eating cereal.
He posted a picture of her with a caption, 'This girl is so small, she might be my niece.'
He texted me, 'I had to use a mini condom, she looks like a kid who just got a toy.'
A really mean penis
A penis that’s so mean it could make a saint cry
My dad’s penis is so mean it threw my dog out of the house.
This guy’s penis is like a bully with a grudge.
That’s not a penis, that’s a mean meat with a vendetta.
A really mean penis
A penis that’s so bad it deserves its own prison sentence
This penis is so bad it got suspended from school.
I swear that penis is in jail for life.
If penises had grades, this one would have a D minus.
A really mean penis
A penis that’s so mean it would beat up a baby
That penis just kicked my little brother.
I think this penis has a black belt in mean.
This penis is so mean it could start a war.
A really hot girl
A female who looks so good she makes your brain shut down and your pants tighten up like a f***ing vice.
My cousin saw her at the mall and fainted. Literally fainted.
He texted me, 'I think I just died.' I said, 'No, you just got a heart attack from looking at her.'
He walked into class and the teacher asked, 'What happened to you?' He said, 'I saw a really hot girl.'
A really hot girl
A woman who looks so good she makes you forget your name, your lunch, and your dignity all at the same time.
He came home from work and said, 'I forgot to eat, forgot my keys, and forgot my pants.'
She walked in, and he dropped his phone, his coffee, and his self-respect.
He texted me, 'I think I just lost my soul.' I said, 'No, you just gave it to her.'
A really hoopy frood
A hoopy frood is a guy who’s so together he makes your brain hurt and your life look like a dumpster fire.
My cousin is a hoopy frood. He doesn’t even need coffee. He just stares at the sunrise and thinks about how bad your life is.
My boss is a hoopy frood. He came to work at 7 a. m. and left at 3 p. m. I still haven’t left.
My neighbor is a hoopy frood. He has 3 jobs, 2 cats, and a life that’s way better than mine.
A really hoopy frood
A hoopy frood is someone so cool they make your life feel like a middle school lunch.
My friend is a hoopy frood. He got into college, got a girlfriend, and still has time to play video games.
My teacher is a hoopy frood. She grades papers at night, teaches during the day, and still has time to eat lunch.
My brother is a hoopy frood. He eats pizza for breakfast, sleeps in, and still gets straight A’s.
A really hoopy frood
A hoopy frood is someone so together they make your life look like a failed science experiment.
My mom is a hoopy frood. She cooks, cleans, and still has time to tell me how bad I’m doing in life.
My crush is a hoopy frood. He got into the best school, has a car, and still has time to text me.
My dog is a hoopy frood. He eats my homework, chews my shoes, and still knows my name.
A really good book
The only thing that can make your brain explode after a night of drinking.
This book was so good I read it while crying in a bathroom at a gas station.
My dog read it and started barking at my mom.
I finished it and then threw up on my brother.
A really good book
A book so good it makes your ex look like a bag of old socks.
I read it and my ex looked like a sad hot dog at a buffet.
My neighbor read it and started dating my mom.
My cat read it and kicked my dad out of the house.
A really good book
A book so good it makes your brain think it’s on vacation.
I read it and my brain took a trip to Hawaii.
My dog read it and went to sleep in a tree.
I read it and my mom started talking to the TV.
A real winner
A backhanded compliment that calls someone a total piece of garbage who probably got their head kicked in by a donkey
You just called me a real winner after I ate your lunch and threw it at the principal.
My mom said I was a real winner when I cried in the middle of a math test.
My friend said I was a real winner after I failed my history exam and set my textbook on fire.
A real winner
A way of telling someone they're the biggest failure who probably got kicked out of heaven for being loud
My teacher called me a real winner after I yelled at the math problems and threw my pencil at the clock.
My dog said I was a real winner after I tripped over my own feet and knocked over a whole jar of cookies.
My brother called me a real winner when I cried at the grocery store because the milk was out of order.