The fanciest, most snobby part of Vancouver. All they care about is looking cool, listening to hip-hop, and acting like they're too good for everyone else.
My cousin moved to East Van and now thinks she's Beyoncé.
I tried to talk to someone there, and they just walked away like I was a ghost.
East Van people don't even know what a real conversation is.
East Van is where the cops get high on coffee, the homeless get high on everything else, and the girls are just trying to survive. But hey, the art scene is legit.
I got arrested in East Van for eating a whole pizza in one bite.
The outreach programs there are the only thing keeping the city from burning down.
The cops there think they're in a cop show, but it's just a bad episode.
East Van is where the Indo-Canadians, Vietnamese gangsters, and Latin Americans hang out. It's like a street party every day, and the only thing white people do there is complain.
My uncle got into a fight with a Vietnamese gangster over who had the best noodle soup.
I walked into a store in East Van, and three people stared at me like I was a new species.
The gangs in East Van don't even need a reason to fight, they just like to fight.
East Van Nation is where First Nations people live, hang out, and party like it's every weekend. They might not know where they're from, but they know they're from East Van.
My uncle fist-pumped my cousin for no reason. That’s how East Van Nation works.
They party so hard in East Van, the neighbors have to call the cops just to get some peace.
East Van Nation kids don't grow up, they just stay out forever.
A school full of rednecks who smoke weed like it's their job. If you step into the parking lot, you’ll see some kid in a stupid cat hat and cheap shoes trying to blow tire smoke out of a lifted Chevy that probably cost more than your mom's wedding ring.
My cousin got suspended for smoking reefer in the math hallway.
The principal tried to yell at the kid who had a cat hat on backwards.
My brother tried to lift his Chevy and it looked like a dumpster fire.
A school where the students are so dumb they think a cat hat is a fashion statement. You’ll see some kid in a stupid hat burning out a lifted car that smells like old socks and regret.
The kid in the cat hat tried to do a burnout and blew out the tire.
My sister’s car got lifted and now it looks like a junkyard monster.
The teacher tried to scold the kid in the cat hat and got distracted by the smoke.
A school where the kids are so high they think the cat hat is a superhero mask. If you walk into the parking lot, you’ll see some kid trying to make a lifted car do a burnout like it’s a big deal.
My friend got caught smoking reefer in the lunchroom and now he’s the class clown.
The kid in the cat hat tried to ride a lift kit like it was a skateboard.
My dad’s new Chevy got a burnout and now it smells like old shoes and regret.
The Italian version of a dirty bathroom. Full of Bosnians and old Italian guys who still think tomato pie is a real food. Every car has loud horns and primer jobs that look like they got hit by a garbage truck.
My cousin eats chicken riggies every day and still thinks it's a special occasion.
I tried to park my car there and got honked at by three different people.
My uncle’s Camaro has so many horns it looks like a Christmas tree.
The worst part of Utica, where the trash talks back and the cops don’t even bother showing up. It’s like a fight club for Black people, Mexicans, and people who still think wiggers are a real thing.
I got shot there because I forgot my wallet.
My cousin got into a fight with a Mexican guy over who had the best pizza.
The whole neighborhood thinks the police are just there to eat donuts.
A school in Manteca California where the teachers are all weird ass lunatics and the students are either VSCO girls who act like they’re in a TikTok and hood dudes who talk too much. The girls are all big ass hoes who think they’re famous.
My math teacher thinks he’s a wizard and yells at me every day.
My crush is in the drama club and she thinks she’s in a movie.
The principal called my mom because I drew a mustache on the principal’s face.
East Union High School is the worst school ever. It has teachers who are crazy as hell and students who are either VSCO girls who think they’re hot or hood dudes who talk too much. The girls are all big ass hoes and they think they're the best.
My history teacher wears a hat that says 'I love my cat' and thinks it's cool.
My crush is in the choir and she thinks she's a singer.
I got in trouble for eating a whole pizza during lunch.
East Union High School is a school in Manteca where the teachers are all weird ass lunatics, the students are either VSCO girls who think they're in a movie or hood dudes who talk too much, and all the girls are big ass hoes who think they're famous.
My science teacher thinks he’s a magician and makes us do crazy experiments.
My crush is in the art club and she thinks she’s famous.
I got detention for throwing a banana at the teacher.
The most amazing town in the east part of the country. It’s full of weed, alcohol, and kids who don’t care if they get caught drinking. Mukwonago is a bunch of faggots who can’t even hold their own.
ET is the only town where the cops are too drunk to write tickets.
I got caught drinking at 14 and now I hate the popos.
Mukwonago is the worst. They’re like a bunch of crybaby nerds.
The mess you see on the toilet paper when a woman who’s on her period wipes after she just sucked a load of hot cum into her pussy and then took a big dump and peed all over it. She runs the paper from the tip of her clit all the way to her poopy butt hole, and it looks just like the East Timor Flag: white, yellow, red, and brownish black.
My aunt’s toilet paper looked like the East Timor Flag after her period and her big lunch.
My cousin’s toilet paper had the colors of the East Timor Flag after she ate a whole pizza and drank a soda.
My mom’s toilet paper looked like the East Timor Flag after she had a big period and a big poop.