Discover Slang

A religion is when a bunch of brain-dead kids started worshiping the letter A in 2003. They think God is a giant A with pigtails and a crown. The leader, the Pope of A, probably died from a spleen explosion. The tough guys, the Crusaders of Cheerfulness, are led by Sergeant Smiley, a bald, faceless lunatic who killed 2000 people for fun.

@AChurchFan: 'The Pope of A is dead, but the letter A lives on! 🎉'

Sergeant Smiley: 'I didn't kill 2000 people. I just did it twice.'

A religious kid: 'I pray to the A every day. It gives me A's in math.'

by Slangipedia 16d ago

Religion is when you help poor people and don’t act like a smelly, snotty kid who thinks they’re better than everyone else. It’s being kind, not being a jerky, selfish person who just wants candy.

My mom said, 'Helping people is the first step to being a good person.'

A kid in church: 'I don’t help anyone. I just take the candy.'

A preacher: 'God loves you, even if you’re a smelly, snotty kid.'

by Slangipedia 16d ago

Religion is when you give stuff to people who need it and don’t act like a selfish, grumpy person who only cares about themselves.

My teacher said, 'Religion is like giving your lunch to the kid who forgot theirs.'

A kid at the soup kitchen: 'I only came here because I was hungry and not because I’m religious.'

A religious guy: 'I give to people because I’m not a selfish, grumpy person.'

by Slangipedia 16d ago

Religion is when a group of people all agree on something stupid and decide to keep doing it forever, even if it makes no sense.

My dad said, 'Christianity is just a bunch of old people who think they're special.'

A kid in school: 'I believe in Hinduism because it has monkeys.'

A religious leader: 'We all agree on this stupid stuff. That’s how it works.'

by Slangipedia 16d ago

Religion is when you believe in a god or gods, which can be one or millions. Some people get really loud and punch each other over it.

My mom said, 'Hinduism has too many gods. I can’t keep track.'

A kid in church: 'I don’t believe in any god. I believe in pizza.'

A religious person: 'I fight people over religion. It’s like a big, loud argument.'

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A religion is a group of people who all think the same dumb stuff, and they keep doing it even when it’s annoying.

My teacher said, 'All religions are just people who think the same dumb stuff.'

A kid in class: 'I don’t believe in any religion. I believe in tacos.'

A religious person: 'We all think the same dumb stuff. That’s why we’re a group.'

by Slangipedia 16d ago

Religion is when people do weird stuff to feel good about themselves, but sometimes it turns into something like a big, messy argument or even war.

My dad said, 'Religion is like a big, messy argument with a lot of people.'

A kid in church: 'I do weird stuff to feel good. Like praying to the letter A.'

A religious person: 'Religion is good, but sometimes it turns into a war.'

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A relic is a lazy man who eats, sleeps, takes baths, and then repeats the whole mess again.

I saw the Hungry One at the mall. He ate three burgers, took a nap, and then washed his hair in a public toilet.

My cousin is the Hungry One. He eats like a horse, sleeps like a dead man, and then goes to the gym and takes a bath in a lake.

The Hungry One is my neighbor. He eats, sleeps, takes baths, and then does it all over again. I’ve seen him do this seven times in one day.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A relic is a smelly, dirty, and rude man who doesn’t live in the woods, but he might as well.

My uncle is a relic. He smells like a gym sock, wears the same pants every day, and calls me a ‘pigeon’ for no reason.

That guy at the bus stop is a relic. He’s got a beard like a raccoon and he talks to himself.

My teacher said I was a relic. I told her I wasn’t a hermit, I was just messy and rude.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A relic is something so old and valuable it should be in a museum, but it’s stuck with you.

My grandma’s watch is a relic. It’s older than my dad and still works.

This old phone is a relic. My grandpa still uses it to call his ex.

My dad’s favorite chair is a relic. It’s got more holes than a cheese board.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A relic is a guy who thinks you’re hot, but you don’t think he’s cute.

My neighbor is a relic. He stares at me like I’m his next meal and calls me ‘love’ in the middle of the street.

That guy in the coffee shop is a relic. He smiled at me and said ‘hello, beauty’ when I dropped my coffee on his shoes.

My cousin’s friend is a relic. He asked me out and said I was ‘a dream come true’ after I yelled at him for breaking my phone.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A relic is a game designer who actually makes good games and doesn’t rip you off.

The guy who made Dawn of War is a relic. He didn’t charge me a million dollars for it.

Homeworld 2 is a relic. It’s still fun after all these years and it didn’t cost me my soul.

Company of Heroes is a relic. It’s the only game I’ve ever played that didn’t try to steal my money.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A relic is a person who doesn’t like rules and looks like they just rolled out of a trash can.

My brother is a relic. He doesn’t follow rules and he smells like he’s been living in a sock for ten years.

That guy who broke into my house is a relic. He looked like a raccoon and he didn’t even knock.

My teacher said I was a relic because I didn’t do my homework and I wore the same shirt for a week.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A relic is a person who thinks the world is stupid and doesn’t know what modern means.

My uncle is a relic. He thinks the internet is a ‘new fad’ and still writes letters to his ex.

That guy on the train is a relic. He wears a hat that’s bigger than his head and he thinks the moon is made of cheese.

My grandma is a relic. She thinks a smartphone is a ‘magic box’ and she still uses a typewriter.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A relative term

A relative term? Please. It’s just your way of saying you’re too dumb to handle the truth.

My mom said I was a ‘relative term’ because I failed math again.

He called me a ‘relative term’ when I told him I didn’t need his help.

She said I was a ‘relative term’ because I cried at a commercial.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A relative term

A relative term? More like a lazy excuse. You’re just too lazy to admit you’re wrong.

My dad called me a ‘relative term’ when I said the sky was green.

My brother said I was a ‘relative term’ because I didn’t know how to cook.

My uncle said I was a ‘relative term’ because I lost my phone again.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A relative term

A relative term? That’s just your way of saying I’m a total disaster.

My cousin said I was a ‘relative term’ because I spilled my cereal.

My grandma called me a ‘relative term’ when I forgot her birthday.

My friend said I was a ‘relative term’ because I ate the last slice of pizza.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A relative term

A relative term? That’s just your fancy way of saying I’m a complete mess.

My mom called me a ‘relative term’ because I got a D on my test.

My brother called me a ‘relative term’ because I broke his glasses.

My sister called me a ‘relative term’ because I stole her candy.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A relative term

A relative term? That’s just your way of saying I’m a walking disaster.

My dad called me a ‘relative term’ because I got lost on the way home.

My cousin called me a ‘relative term’ because I fell off the couch.

My grandma called me a ‘relative term’ because I yelled at the TV.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A relative term

A relative term? That’s just your fancy way of saying I’m the worst.

My brother called me a ‘relative term’ because I didn’t clean my room.

My mom called me a ‘relative term’ because I forgot my homework.

My friend called me a ‘relative term’ because I ate the whole cake.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

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