Discover Slang

Early lunch

On peaceful farms, eating lunch before 2:39 pm is the only way to survive the farmer’s wrath and the pig’s judgment.

"You’re alive. You ate at 2:38.", The farmer

The pig stared at me like I was a traitor.

I got extra corn. You got stared at.

The start of a relationship, like when you're still trying to figure out if they're worth the trouble. You're still too dumb to know what's coming.

Just met this guy at the bar, he asked for my number. I said sure, but I’m still not sure if he’s a one-night stand or my new husband.

My crush texted me, I replied, but I’m still confused. Is this a thing or did I just embarrass myself?

Told my mom I’m in a relationship. She said, 'That’s cute, but don’t get too excited.'

A day when Raven gets to leave early because they’re awesome and we all know it. Everyone else has to suffer.

Raven left early today. I stayed late. I didn’t even get my coffee.

My friend Raven got to leave early. I had to finish my math homework. It was unfair.

Today was Raven’s special day. They left. I was stuck in class. I was mad.

The best time of Green Day. Before they got famous and started acting like they were better than everyone else. The early days were full of real music, not just stupid songs for pre-teens.

I still listen to 'Basket Case' every day. It’s way better than '21 Guns.'

My dad says early Green Day was the real deal. He’s right.

I hate American Idiot. I like the old stuff better. Like way better.

When a guy takes off his pants, grabs imaginary propeller sticks, and shakes it like a mad man. Women do the same with their boobs. It’s stupid, but it’s also kind of funny.

My uncle did that in front of the whole class. Everyone laughed. I still can’t look him in the eye.

My friend tried to do it during a presentation. He failed. Badly.

My mom did it in the kitchen. I didn’t know what to think.

When you push yourself to get all your work done early so you can chill later while everyone else is still working their ass off.

I finished my homework at 10 AM. My friends were still stuck at 3 PM. I was cool.

I got all my work done in the morning. My classmates were still stressed at lunch.

I did my assignment early. My brother still had to finish it at night. I was a boss.

Early humor effect

When kids shows turn into a full-on adult joke fest so bad that kids are learning about life, love, and the full power of a swear word before they even finish elementary school.

A kid watching SpongeBob for the first time and asking their mom, 'Why is Mr. Krabs always counting money like he just got out of jail?'

A 7-year-old whispering to their brother, 'I think Squidward is secretly gay.'

A child writing a letter to the show’s writers: 'Please stop making Patrick sound like he just got kicked out of a bar.'

Early humor effect

The magical moment when a kids show starts dropping f-bombs and sexual references so fast that kids are ready for college by third grade.

A kid yells at the TV, 'Why is SpongeBob making a sandwich out of a whale? That’s not a sandwich, that’s a tragedy!'

A kid draws a picture of SpongeBob and Patrick in a compromising position and shows it to their teacher.

A kid tells their parents, 'I know what a ‘dirty old man’ is now, and I am not happy about it.'

Early humor effect

When kids shows try so hard to be funny that they end up turning kids into experts of adult nonsense and swearing before they even know what a swear word is.

A kid texts their best friend, 'SpongeBob is going to get fired if he keeps doing that.'

A kid writes a complaint letter to the show: 'Please stop making Squidward look like he just got dumped by a crab.'

A kid tells their teacher, 'I think Mr. Krabs is having an affair with the cashier.'

Early candlelight

the oldest way to know it was time to get drunk and start screaming at your brother

My grandpa said early candlelight was when the sun went to sleep and the candles got angry.

I don’t need a clock, when the candles flicker, I know it’s time to fight.

Early candlelight is just a fancy way of saying ‘the kids are tired, let’s start a food fight.’

Early candlelight

the moment your mom decides it’s time to yell at you and your brother for eating the last of the cookies

Early candlelight is when the cookies are gone and the yelling starts.

I knew it was early candlelight when my brother took the last cookie and ran.

Early candlelight means no dessert and a lot of screaming.

Early candlelight

the ancient art of knowing it’s time to be loud and annoying

Early candlelight is when the candles start to cry and your brother starts to laugh.

You know it’s early candlelight when your dad walks in and says, ‘I’m not doing this again.’

Early candlelight is when you’re too loud and your mom calls the police.

the time when the sun starts shining and your mom stops yelling at you for being late.

'Early bright hit me like a slap in the face. I ran out the door like my life depended on it.'

'The early bright was the only thing that saved me from getting grounded again.'

'I woke up to early bright and realized I had to go to school.'

when the sky gets light enough to see your face without turning on the lamp.

'I didn’t wake up until early bright hit me like a punch to the gut.'

'Early bright is the worst thing that ever happened to me.'

'I sat up in bed and said, 'Early bright? Really?'

the moment the sun comes up and your brain starts working again.

'Early bright made my brain wake up like it was on a coffee binge.'

'I hate early bright because it means I have to be awake.'

'I waited for early bright like it was the final act of a movie.'

when the sun shines so bright it feels like it’s telling you to get your butt out of bed.

'Early bright is like the sun giving me a thumbs up and saying, 'Get up, you lazy bum.''

'The early bright was so bright it blinded me and made me cry.'

'I was still asleep when early bright came and yelled at me.'

the time when the sky turns light and your day officially starts.

'Early bright was my cue to stop being a slug and start being a human.'

'I didn’t even want to be awake when early bright hit me.'

'The early bright was the only thing that could make me get out of bed.'

Early bloomer

An early bloomer is a girl who looks like a kid but has a hot body and acts like a seductress. She’s basically a kid who’s trying to trick you into thinking she’s a milf.

My cousin is an early bloomer. She’s 12 and acts like she’s 22. It’s annoying.

My teacher said my friend was an early bloomer. She was wearing a dress and a bra to school.

My little sister is an early bloomer. She tried to flirt with my dad. He was confused.

Early bloomer

An early bloomer is a teenage girl who’s got a body and attitude way beyond her years. She’s a walking disaster for any adult man who sees her.

My neighbor’s daughter is an early bloomer. She’s 13 and she’s got a boyfriend. It’s embarrassing.

My friend’s sister is an early bloomer. She’s got a body like a porn star. It’s wild.

My teacher called my classmate an early bloomer. She was wearing make-up and a mini skirt. It was weird.