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paintacologist
A dude who moved from a broke country thinking he'd be a doctor, but instead he’s just a painter with bad aim and worse taste.
I came to America for a surgeon job, now I'm painting my neighbor's cat and calling it a masterpiece.
Left the hospital for the canvas and never looked back, now my life is covered in glue and glitter.
Thought I'd be saving lives, now I’m just saving my own with acrylics and rage.
by Slangipedia 8d ago
paint-scratcher
A parking spot so tight that if you open your door it’s like giving the car next to you a face full of broken glass.
I tried to park there and my door hit the other car so hard I thought it was gonna scream.
My mom parked in one and her door knocked the paint off like it was a bad relationship.
That paint-scratcher spot is cursed. I’ve seen cars get scratched just by breathing near it.
by Slangipedia 8d ago
paint-scratcher
A parking spot so tiny that opening your door feels like you're starting a fight with the car beside you.
I opened my door and the other car’s paint looked like it had been beat up by a toddler.
My friend parked there and his door almost kissed the other car goodbye.
That spot is so small, I think the cars are jealous of each other.
by Slangipedia 8d ago
paint-scratcher
A parking spot that’s so narrow your door might as well be a weapon.
My door hit the other car so hard, it made a noise like a cat being hit by a truck.
I parked there and my door nearly started a war with the car next to me.
That paint-scratcher spot is like a love triangle between three cars.
by Slangipedia 8d ago
paint-scratcher
A parking spot so small it feels like your car is trying to murder its neighbor.
I opened my door and the other car’s paint looked like it had been tortured.
My uncle parked there, and his door almost knocked the other car into next week.
That spot is so tiny, I think the cars are whispering secrets to each other.
by Slangipedia 8d ago
paint-scratcher
A parking spot that’s so tight your door might as well be a knife.
I opened my door and the other car’s paint looked like it had been stabbed.
My sister parked there, and her door nearly made the other car cry.
That spot is so small, I think the cars are fighting for space.
by Slangipedia 8d ago
paint-scratcher
A parking spot that’s so narrow your door might as well be a death sentence.
I opened my door and the other car looked like it had been sent to jail.
My brother parked there, and his door almost gave the other car a heart attack.
That paint-scratcher spot is like a prison for cars.
by Slangipedia 8d ago
paint-brushing
Paint-brushing is when you stick all five fingers of one hand into a bloody vagina and draw a messy picture on the woman's stomach like she’s a canvas for your cum-fueled masterpiece.
My mom said, 'I can't believe that guy paint-brushed me in the parking lot!'
He texted me, 'You’re my favorite canvas.' I replied, 'Yeah, and you're my least favorite painter.'
She DM’d me: 'That dude paint-brushed me at the bar. I still have cum on my shirt.'
by Slangipedia 8d ago
paint-brushing
To slap someone’s face hard enough to make their teeth rattle and their ears ring, either with a backhand or a forward swing.
He said, 'I got slapped across the face like a sack of potatoes.'
She tweeted, 'My ex slaps harder than my dad's belt.'
His friend texted him: 'You got your face smacked so hard you looked like a punchbag.'
by Slangipedia 8d ago
paint-brushing
When you rub your cock along the outside of a woman’s vagina, trying to get her hot while also playing the Tip Game by sneaking your head in for extra fun.
She said, 'He brushed my legs and dipped his cock in like I was his personal cum machine.'
He DM’d me: 'I played the Tip Game with her so hard, she forgot her own name.'
My friend yelled, 'He kept brushing and dipping until I had to leave the room!'
by Slangipedia 8d ago
paint-brushing
A tool used for smearing paint on a wall, or in this case, someone’s face after you’ve been having fun with your cock.
She said, 'He painted my face like I was his art project.'
He texted me: 'I used the brush to paint her face because it looked cool.'
My friend yelled, 'That guy used a paintbrush and my face as his canvas!'
by Slangipedia 8d ago
paint-brushing
When you grab your sweaty balls and slap them across someone’s face to warm it up with slimy mess.
She said, 'He grabbed his junk and slapped my face like I was a hot dog.'
He DM’d me: 'I manhandled my jewels and smacked her face with my slimy hand.'
My friend yelled, 'He grabbed his balls and face-slapped me with cum!'
by Slangipedia 8d ago
paint-brushing
When you dip your cock in paint or something gross like peanut butter and swipe it across someone’s body like you’re making a messy portrait.
He said, 'I painted her with jam and she looked like a giant cookie.'
She texted me: 'He used peanut butter to paint my stomach. I still taste it.'
My friend yelled, 'He painted my face with cum and I was stuck with it for days!'
by Slangipedia 8d ago
paint-brushing
When a guy spills his love juice on your face, then grabs his cock like it's the handle of a paintbrush, and uses his balls to swipe it all over you like you're a messy kid.
She said, 'He spilled his cum on my face and used his sack as a brush.'
He DM’d me: 'I painted her with my love juice and my sack.'
My friend yelled, 'That guy painted my face with cum and I felt like a mess!'
by Slangipedia 8d ago
paint yourself into a coroner
A mean way to say you talked too much and now you’re stuck being the guy who stares at dead people all day like they owe you money.
I thought I was funny, now I’m the guy who smells like formaldehyde.
My mouth got me a job where I count zits on corpses.
I went from party animal to corpse whisperer overnight.
by Slangipedia 8d ago
paint yourself into a coroner
You’re so full of hot air, you ended up stuck in a room with dead people who don’t even care.
I said too much and now I work with corpses. Classic me.
My job is now checking if dead people have bad breath.
I went from being the life of the party to the death of the morgue.
by Slangipedia 8d ago
paint yourself into a coroner
You talked your way into a job where you basically just look at dead people and wish they had died somewhere else.
I got stuck working with dead people because I couldn’t keep my trap shut.
My mouth got me a job that smells like rotting meat.
Now I get to stare at corpses all day. Thanks, Mom.
by Slangipedia 8d ago
paint yourself into a corner
To make yourself look like a dumbass with no way out; you're stuck in a mess and everyone's laughing at you
I tried to lie my way through the whole thing, but now I'm stuck explaining why my dog ate my homework
He promised the world and then got caught wearing a chicken suit in front of his boss
She said she'd finish the project by Friday, but now it's Monday and she still hasn't started
by Slangipedia 8d ago
paint yourself into a corner
To get yourself into a situation where you're stuck like a cockroach in a jar; no escape, no help
He texted his ex every day for a month and now she's ignoring him completely
She bet her last dollar on the wrong horse and now she can't even afford pizza
He tried to fix the car by throwing eggs at it and now it won’t start
by Slangipedia 8d ago
paint yourself into a corner
To trap yourself in a mess so bad you wish you were dead; no way out, just pain
He said he’d finish the project by noon but now it’s midnight and he still hasn’t started
She promised her mom she wouldn’t fail the test, but now she’s crying in the hallway
He tried to sneak into the party but got caught wearing pajamas and a hat
by Slangipedia 8d ago
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