Obi Wanabe

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A know-it-all who talks like they’ve got the Force in their pocket but are actually just full of hot air and dumb advice.

Hey man, I’ve got a plan for your life. It involves three steps and a lot of crying.

You think you’re the Chosen One? I’ve seen more wisdom in a pigeon’s eye.

I’m not just a Jedi, I’m a Jedi with a PhD in being wrong.

A person who gives life advice like it’s a prophecy, but it’s just a guess and they’re probably lying to themselves.

‘The Force is with you, young one.’ No, it’s with me, and I’m 12 years old and still don’t know what I’m doing.

You think you’re the next great hero? I’ve seen more heroics in a video game.

I’m not just a mentor, I’m a mentor with a side hustle in dumb advice.

A guy who acts like he’s got all the answers but is just full of garbage and doesn’t know when to shut up.

‘You must choose your path, young one.’ I’m not even sure what path I’m on, and I’m not choosing anything.

You think you’re the Chosen One? I’ve got a better title: ‘The Chosen Loser.’

I’m not just a sage, I’m a sage who’s never been right.

Someone who acts like they’re a Jedi master but are really just a fraud with a bad attitude and worse advice.

‘The Force is with you.’ No, the Force is with me, and I’m still waiting for my turn.

You think you’re the Chosen One? I’ve got a certificate that says I’m the Chosen Loser.

I’m not just a mentor, I’m a mentor who’s been wrong about everything.

A person who talks like they’re the most important Jedi ever, but their advice is so bad it could make a trash can cry.

‘You must choose your path, young one.’ I’m not even sure what path I’m on, and I don’t want to choose anything.

You think you’re the Chosen One? I’m the Chosen Loser and I’ve got a better title.

I’m not just a Jedi, I’m a Jedi who’s been wrong about everything.

A person who gives life advice like it’s a prophecy, but it’s just a guess and they’re probably lying to themselves.

‘The Force is with you.’ No, the Force is with me, and I’m still waiting for my turn.

You think you’re the Chosen One? I’ve got a better title: ‘The Chosen Loser.’

I’m not just a sage, I’m a sage who’s never been right.