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A Darwin
Darwin Awards are for people who die doing something so stupid it makes the rest of us feel like we’re just average.
My uncle got a Darwin Award by trying to catch a fish with his bare hands in a river full of piranhas.
My cousin got a Darwin Award by running into a wall at 40 mph in flip flops.
My neighbor got a Darwin Award by trying to kiss a cow and got knocked out.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
A Darwin
A Darwin is the guy who’s so good he’s like a god but for humans. He’s the guy who will save your life and then ask you to buy him a pizza.
My Darwin guy helped me move and then took my last pizza slice.
My Darwin guy saved me from a burning building and then asked for a raise.
My Darwin guy came to my rescue during a robbery and then said, ‘You’re welcome, now give me a kiss.’
by Slangipedia 17d ago
A Darwin
Darwinism is what creationists call evolution to make it sound like a religion. It’s like calling gravity a ‘gravitational cult.’
My teacher called evolution a ‘religion’ and got a Darwin Award for stupidity.
My brother said Darwinism was a cult and then got owned by a squirrel.
My mom tried to convert me to creationism and I gave her a Darwin Award.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
A Darwin
A Darwin is the kind of guy who’s like your best friend, but also your lifeline. He’s the guy who will listen to you rant about your problems for hours.
My Darwin sat with me for 3 hours while I cried about my ex.
My Darwin listened to me complain about my job and gave me a hug.
My Darwin told me I was perfect and then took my last chocolate.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
A Darwin
Darwinism is a word creationists made up to make evolution sound like a fake religion. It’s like calling gravity a ‘gravitationalist cult.’
My science teacher called Darwinism a fake religion and got a Darwin Award.
My brother said Darwinism was fake and then got owned by a chicken.
My mom called evolution a cult and then got Darwined by a squirrel.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
A Darwin
Darwin is the guy with the warmest heart, the biggest dick, and the kind of loyalty that would make your grandma proud. He’s the guy who would die for you and then still ask for a pizza.
My Darwin guy saved my life and then asked for a pizza.
My Darwin guy got me out of jail and then took my last burger.
My Darwin guy fought a bear for me and still asked if I wanted fries.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
A Date With Rosie Palms
A fancy way of saying you spent the whole night jerking off like a maniac.
'I had a date with Rosie Palms and didn't even notice my mom knocked on the door.'
'He said he was out with friends, but really he had a date with Rosie Palms.'
'I told my sister I was going to the mall, but I was actually having a date with Rosie Palms.'
by Slangipedia 17d ago
A Date With Rosie Palms
When a guy uses his hand like a magic wand to make himself feel good.
'I had a date with Rosie Palms during math class.'
'He said he was studying, but I saw him having a date with Rosie Palms.'
'My brother had a date with Rosie Palms and forgot about his homework.'
by Slangipedia 17d ago
A Darth Vader
When someone blacks out, you rip their pants off, take a dump in them, and then put their pants back on like they’re a stupid kid.
My cousin passed out at the party. I took a dump in his pants and left him there.
My brother fainted after eating 10 tacos. I took a dump in his pants and laughed for days.
At school, my friend passed out. I took a dump in his pants and told everyone he was a disgrace.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
A Darth Vader
Anakin Skywalker’s psycho side. He killed his wife, chopped off his son’s hand, gave his daughter a face full of drugs, and tossed his boss into a reactor like he was trash.
Darth Vader killed his wife because she was annoying.
He chopped off his son’s hand for no reason.
He tossed his boss into a reactor like he was a piece of garbage.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
A Darth Vader
When you can’t breathe because your nose is clogged, so you suck air off a guy’s cock while giving head, and it makes the classic Vader sound.
I had a stuffy nose and sucked air off my boyfriend’s cock. It was like the Force was with me.
At the club, I had a stuffy nose and sucked air off a guy’s cock. Everyone laughed at me.
I gave head with a stuffy nose and made the classic Vader sound.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
A Darth Vader
A guy holds a woman up by the throat like she’s a dumb kid, then he rams his junk into her while yelling about a space base.
My dad grabbed my mom by the throat and had sex with her while yelling about the Empire.
My uncle held my aunt up by the throat and had sex with her like she was a robot.
He grabbed her by the throat and said, ‘Where’s the Rebel base?!’
by Slangipedia 17d ago
A Darth Vader
The biggest, meanest, most trashy person in the whole galaxy.
Darth Vader is the trashiest person in the galaxy.
He’s meaner than my mom when she’s mad at me.
The most trashy, mean person who ever lived.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
A Darth Vader
He was a snotty kid named Anakin, but after getting burned in lava, he got a cool black suit and now he chokes people and gets all the girls.
Anakin got burned in lava and got a cool black suit.
He chokes people with the Force and gets all the hoes.
He was a snotty kid, then he got a cool black suit and became a legend.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
A Darth Vader
He was a snotty kid, got burned in lava, got a black suit, and now he chokes people and saves his son from the evil emperor.
Darth Vader got burned in lava and saved his son from the evil emperor.
He saved his son from the emperor after getting burned in lava.
He got a black suit after being burned in lava and saved his son.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
A Darryl
A guy who spends the whole day doodling willys on anything that doesn’t move.
I saw Darryl draw a willy on the school bus. The bus driver was mad.
He drew a willy on my mom’s coffee cup. She still uses it.
He drew a willy on the principal’s face during lunch. He got suspended.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
A Darryl
The most awesome guy ever. He’s got a brain the size of a basketball, a laugh that could shake the earth, and a body that could beat up a donkey.
Darryl solved my math test for me. I got an A, he got a cookie.
He beat me in a video game. I cried.
He fixed my car and my life. He’s a god.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
A Darryl
A guy who stays calm even when the world is exploding. He’s got a heart of gold and a cock that’s bigger than a pizza.
Darryl kept cool when the fire alarm went off. I panicked and cried.
He kissed me like it was the last day on Earth.
He fixed my broken heart and my broken phone. He’s a miracle.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
A Darryl
Darryl is like a god. He’s got the looks, the brains, and the charm to make any girl swoon.
Darryl asked me out. I said yes. I regret nothing.
He didn’t leave me. He never will. He’s perfect.
He’s like a golden hand. I’m lucky.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
A Darryl
A guy who’s a total hoe but still has a heart of gold. He’s got the body of a beast and the mouth of a fool.
Darryl cheated on me. But he gave me a cake. I forgave him.
He told the worst joke ever. I laughed and cried.
He got mad at me. He yelled so loud the neighbors called the cops.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
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