A Super Mario
A 4-foot, 200-pound Italian plumber from Brooklyn, NY. He's been in over 30 video games, and he still kicks butt like a man who's never been hit.
Mario is the OG plumber. Donkey Kong is just his sidekick.
He's been around since the 80s and still kicks butt.
He's older than me, but still beats me in every game.