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Daddy's drivin mommy
It's when your dad's got his foot on the gas and your mom's got her eye on the road.
Dad: 'Daddy's drivin mommy!' Mom: 'You're not even lookin at the road.'
Text from Dad: 'I'm drivin mommy. She's the passenger.'
At the grocery store: Dad: 'Daddy's drivin mommy!' Mom: 'You just crashed into the cart.'
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Daddy's croissant
Your dad is so wasted he thinks the hotel bed is a French fry and he’s eating your face like it’s a croissant.
My dad tried to eat my face and called it a breakfast special.
He said I was his favorite continental breakfast.
He bit my nose and said it was a croissant.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Daddy's croissant
Your dad is drunk, he thinks you’re a croissant, and he’s licking your face like it’s a baguette.
He licked my face and said I was a croissant on a roll.
He tried to eat me and called me a French toast.
He said I was a breakfast bomb.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Daddy's croissant
Your dad is so drunk he tries to stuff your mouth with croissant and calls it a love bite.
He put croissant in my mouth and called it a love bite.
He said I was his favorite snack.
He ate my face and called it a continental breakfast.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Daddy's credit card
The only thing richer kids ever need more than pizza and Xbox.
I need more clothes. Daddy's credit card is the only thing that works.
Why do I have 10 new shoes? Because I said so. And I used Daddy's credit card.
Daddy's credit card is the reason I have 5000 followers and zero brain cells.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Daddy's credit card
The magical ticket that turns 'I want it' into 'I have it'.
I saw it in the store. I wanted it. I got it. All because of Daddy's credit card.
No money? No problem. Daddy's credit card is my best friend.
Daddy's credit card is like a genie. I just wish for stuff, and it appears.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Daddy's credit card
The reason your parents are always stressed and always broke.
Daddy's credit card is why Mom is always yelling at the bank.
Every time I go to the mall, Daddy's credit card gets a little more destroyed.
Daddy's credit card is like a monster. It eats money and never stops.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Daddy's Worthless Slut
A cum-loving, butt-scratching, dirty pig who does everything her daddy says. She cooks, cleans, swallows, and wipes his mess. She’s proud of her fat ass, saggy tits, and stinky hole. She’s dumb and only happy when she’s getting fucked or pregnant.
'I’d suck his dick if he asked me to, and I’d let him cum in my mouth while I cleaned the floor.'
'I don’t care if I smell like old socks. I’m his cumdump and I’m happy.'
'I don’t know what a spreadsheet is, but I know how to wipe his cum off the couch.'
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Daddy's Worthless Slut
A stinky, loud, mouthy whore who only thinks about pleasing her man. She’ll clean his socks, eat his cum, and call him 'daddy' all day. She’s messy, dumb, and only proud of her ass and her hole.
'I’d let him cum in my mouth and then I’d clean the floor with my tongue.'
'I don’t care if I smell like a gym sock. I’m his cumdump and I’m happy.'
'I’d do anything he says, even if it means eating his cum for breakfast.'
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Daddy's Worthless Slut
A dumb, dirty, stinky pig who only knows how to please her man. She eats his cum, cleans his mess, and calls him 'daddy.' She’s proud of her saggy tits and stinky hole. She doesn’t know what a spreadsheet is, but she knows how to wipe his cum off the couch.
'I’d let him cum on my face and then I’d wipe it off with my dirty sock.'
'I don’t care if I look like a pig. I’m his cumdump and I’m happy.'
'I’d do anything for him. Even if it means cleaning his cum off the floor with my tongue.'
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Daddy's War Medicine
Cheap hooch that makes old vets yell at their kids for no reason.
My dad drinks so much he thinks I'm the enemy.
He poured the whole bottle and still yelled at the mailman.
He tried to drink the cat and it hissed back.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Daddy's War Medicine
The stuff old soldiers drink to forget they're still scared of explosions.
He drinks it like it's a grenade and hopes it'll blow up the past.
He drinks it so fast he chokes on his own memories.
He drinks it to forget he used to be a man.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Daddy's War Medicine
The cheapest drink that makes old vets act like they’re still in the army.
He drinks it and yells at me like I'm a drill sergeant.
He drinks it and tries to salute the TV.
He drinks it and thinks his dog is a grenade.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Daddy's Wallet Girl
A girl who fakes being sweet just to get cash from her dad or whoever pays for her stuff.
'I love you Dad!' said the girl who just asked for a new phone.
She smiled at her mom like she was her best friend, then asked for $200 for pizza.
She called her uncle 'the best person ever' right before asking for a new outfit.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Daddy's Wallet Girl
A girl who only likes you when you have money in your pocket.
She texted me 'I miss you' then asked for a gift card.
She cried at the dinner table just to get more allowance.
She said she was 'broke' but had a new phone the next day.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Daddy's Wallet Girl
A girl who takes your money like it's her birthright and acts like you're the one who owes her.
She took my wallet and said, 'You're the one who gave me money.'
She told me I was 'poor' even though I paid for her lunch.
She called me 'the worst dad ever' because I didn't give her a new toy.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Daddy's Wallet Girl
A girl who only wants your cash and doesn't care about your feelings.
She asked for a new game, then said I was 'mean' when I said no.
She pretended to be sad just to get more money.
She said she was 'starving' even though she had a snack in her pocket.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Daddy's Wallet Girl
A girl who's only nice to you when you're handing her cash.
She said 'thank you' when I gave her money, then told me I was 'the worst dad ever' later.
She smiled at me like I was her hero, then asked for $50 for a snack.
She called me 'cool' when I gave her a gift, then said I was 'cheap' the next day.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Daddy's Wallet Girl
A girl who acts like she's your best friend just to get your money.
She said we were 'best friends forever' then asked me for $100.
She told me I was 'the best dad ever' and then asked for a new phone.
She said I was 'the best' then asked for $50 for a new shirt.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
Daddy's Revenge
This is what happens when a daddy's little girl gets in trouble, and her daddy steps in like a madman with a mop and a bucket of rage.
My dad found out my ex cheated on me. He took a mop and chased him out of the house.
Dad saw my boyfriend's text messages. He called him a 'walking punchbag' and made him eat a sandwich.
My dad found out my ex had a kid. He showed up at the school and gave him a wedgie in front of everyone.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
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