Lackopussitis

Current Trending

#sad trombone #broken toaster #soulmate fails

4 views · Added 9d ago · 6 definitions

When you haven't touched a pussy in so long, your brain turns to mush and you start seeing every drunk girl as your future wife. It's like being stuck in a sauna with a sad trombone.

DM: 'Hey, are you my soulmate?' 'No, I'm your ex's soulmate.'

Text: 'I just stared at a pizza for 10 minutes. It was a love language.'

Post: 'My brain is a broken toaster. I can't function.'

by Slangipedia 9d ago

A sickness you get when you haven't had sex in weeks. You start questioning your life choices, your mom's dating life, and why you ever left the house.

Tweet: 'I just yelled at my cat for no reason. I'm that guy.'

Text: 'Why is my mom dating a man who looks like a used sock?'

DM: 'I tried to eat a sandwich. It was a disappointment.'

by Slangipedia 9d ago

The worst kind of withdrawal. You're so desperate for a good lay, you'll date your grandma's dog if it has a nice face.

Post: 'My dog is now my best friend and my future wife.'

Text: 'I asked my grandma's dog out. He said yes.'

DM: 'I would marry a goat if it had a nice face.'

by Slangipedia 9d ago

You're so dry down there, you think your pants are on fire. You start seeing every guy as your enemy and every beer as a lifeline.

Tweet: 'I just fought my brother over a bottle of beer. It was worth it.'

Text: 'Why is my pants on fire? I haven't touched a pussy in 3 days.'

DM: 'I'm at war with my best friend. He took my last beer.'

by Slangipedia 9d ago

You get this sickness when you haven't had sex in so long, your brain starts to think you're a ghost. You start haunting your ex's house and eating their leftovers.

Post: 'I haunted my ex's house for a week. She didn't notice.'

Text: 'I ate her leftover pizza and it was a love letter.'

DM: 'I'm a ghost. I haunt her house every Friday.'

by Slangipedia 9d ago

The worst kind of dry spell. You start thinking you're a failure. You question your entire life, your parents' dating choices, and why you ever had a shower.

Tweet: 'I just took a shower. It was a disappointment.'

Text: 'Why is my dad dating a man who looks like a used sock?'

DM: 'I question my entire life. I'm a failure.'

by Slangipedia 9d ago