Jack Sparrow Drunk

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4 views · Added 10d ago · 5 definitions

Chugging booze like it's your job, still managing to outsmart people who haven't had a sip yet, and making fools of them in the process.

I drank 12 beers in 2 hours and still beat you at chess.

I woke up at 3 AM, did a karate kick through my neighbor's window, and still made it to work on time.

I drank the entire bottle of whiskey and still gave a speech at the wedding.

You're so wasted you think you're a pirate, but somehow you still manage to do stuff that sane people can't.

I tried to sail my bathtub to the moon and failed, but I still got a tattoo of a ship on my arm.

I threw my phone out the window, and it still rang me at 2 AM.

I tried to eat a whole pizza in one bite and ended up crying, but I still made it to the party.

You're so wasted you're practically a ghost, but you still manage to do things that even ghosts wouldn't dare to do.

I walked into a wall, talked to my cat, and still passed my math test.

I tried to wear my socks on my hands and still won the game.

I ate a whole cake in one go and still managed to text my mom.

You're so wasted you're half-dead, but you still manage to do things that would make a normal person cry.

I tried to dance on the ceiling and fell into the fridge, but I still laughed the whole time.

I drank my coffee out of a soup can and still passed the test.

I tried to run a marathon and ended up in a dumpster, but I still got a medal.

You're so wasted you can't tell your left foot from your right, but you still manage to do stuff that sane people can't even imagine.

I tried to wear my hat on my face and still won the argument.

I threw my shoes at my brother and still passed the math quiz.

I tried to eat my homework and still got an A.