Jack Sparrow Drunk - You're so wasted you're half-dead, but you still manage to d

You're so wasted you're half-dead, but you still manage to do things that would make a normal person cry.

I tried to dance on the ceiling and fell into the fridge, but I still laughed the whole time.

I drank my coffee out of a soup can and still passed the test.

I tried to run a marathon and ended up in a dumpster, but I still got a medal.