I never thought I'd be saying this

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Something you shout when life throws you a curveball so hard it knocks your teeth out.

'I never thought I'd be saying this' after my dog ate my laptop and my boss yelled at me.

'I never thought I'd be saying this' when my ex texted me during my vacation.

'I never thought I'd be saying this' after I dropped my kid off at school and realized I forgot my phone.

A line you yell when the universe decides to mess with your head and your sanity.

'I never thought I'd be saying this' after my cat stared at me for 10 minutes straight.

'I never thought I'd be saying this' when my mom called me at 2 a. m. to ask about my dating life.

'I never thought I'd be saying this' after I tried to cook and set the kitchen on fire.

A phrase you scream when everything you knew was wrong and your brain short-circuited.

'I never thought I'd be saying this' after I got a job at a pizza place and my boss was my ex.

'I never thought I'd be saying this' when I realized my dog had a second job as a thief.

'I never thought I'd be saying this' after my sister moved in and started stealing my snacks.

What you say when your brain officially gives up and your soul screams for help.

'I never thought I'd be saying this' when I got a ticket for parking in my own driveway.

'I never thought I'd be saying this' after I tried to fix my car and it exploded.

'I never thought I'd be saying this' when my kid told me his teacher was my ex.

A sentence you whisper when the world has officially lost its mind and you're too tired to care.

'I never thought I'd be saying this' after my dog started barking at my neighbor's cat.

'I never thought I'd be saying this' when my boss asked me to work on weekends.

'I never thought I'd be saying this' when I realized my kid had a pet rat.

Something you yell when your brain is melting and your soul is in a blender.

'I never thought I'd be saying this' after my dog started stealing my food.

'I never thought I'd be saying this' when I got a job at a donut shop and my boss was my ex.

'I never thought I'd be saying this' when my sister moved in and started talking to my plants.