G.L.O.B.

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A grumpy old woman who looks good but still acts like she’s got a stick up her ass.

My neighbor is a G. L. O. B. She yells at the mailman and still wears high heels.

My grandma is a G. L. O. B. She still flirts with the barista but calls me a brat.

My aunt is a G. L. O. B. She’s got a face like a fried egg but still shows up to family dinners in a dress.

An old woman who still thinks she’s hot, even though she probably hasn’t had a date since the '80s.

My mom’s a G. L. O. B. She still wears lipstick and says she’s got a ‘vibes’ with the grocery store clerk.

My cousin’s a G. L. O. B. She still wears a miniskirt but can’t walk without holding on to the wall.

My teacher’s a G. L. O. B. She still calls me ‘honey’ and thinks I’m a ‘sweetheart’.

A woman so old she’s got more wrinkles than a donut, but still thinks she’s the main character of a drama.

My aunt’s a G. L. O. B. She still wears eyeliner and yells at the TV like it’s her ex.

My mom’s a G. L. O. B. She still does her hair in the morning and says she’s got ‘a life’.

My grandma’s a G. L. O. B. She still wears a blazer and tells me I’ve got a ‘future’.

A woman who still looks good, but acts like she’s got a lifetime supply of attitude.

My neighbor’s a G. L. O. B. She still wears makeup and yells at the cat like it’s her ex.

My mom’s a G. L. O. B. She still wears her hair in a ponytail and tells me I’ve got ‘potential’.

My aunt’s a G. L. O. B. She still wears her favorite dress and says she’s got ‘a fire’ inside.

A woman who’s got a face like a map and still thinks she’s got a shot at being a main character.

My grandma’s a G. L. O. B. She still wears her glasses and tells me I’ve got a ‘future’.

My mom’s a G. L. O. B. She still wears her hair in a bun and says she’s got ‘a life’.

My aunt’s a G. L. O. B. She still wears her favorite perfume and still thinks she’s got a ‘vibes’ with the postman.