Facebook patient

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2 views · Added 14d ago · 6 definitions

A person who lets Facebook take the place of real therapy because they're too lazy to actually talk to a shrink.

I posted 12 status updates about my ex and still haven't deleted them.

My therapist left a voicemail. I ignored it. Then I replied to a comment from my high school gym teacher.

I cried into my phone after a fight with my mom. Then I liked 17 posts about how great my life is.

Someone who uses Facebook like it's a shrink, even though it's just people arguing about what they had for breakfast.

I sent my ex a message saying 'I miss you.' Then I blocked him when he replied.

I posted a rant about my job. 23 people liked it. None of them offered me a better one.

I got 100 notifications from my mom. I didn't reply. I just stared at my phone like it was a mirror.

A person who thinks Facebook is a real therapy session because it's easier than actually talking to someone who knows what they're doing.

I posted about my divorce. 12 friends commented. None of them offered me a divorce.

I had a panic attack. Then I posted 7 photos of my cat and called it 'therapy.'

I sent a message to my ex saying 'I love you.' Then I changed my profile picture to a picture of my ex's new girlfriend.

Someone who lets Facebook take the place of therapy because they're too scared to actually face their problems.

I posted about my breakup. Then I cried into my phone for 45 minutes and took 12 selfies.

I sent my therapist a message. Then I replied to a comment from my neighbor about their new dog.

I had a bad day. Instead of calling a friend, I posted a rant and liked 100 posts from people I don't even know.

A person who uses Facebook like it's a shrink because they're too cheap to actually pay for real therapy.

I posted about my problems. 5 people liked it. None of them gave me money.

I sent a message to my therapist. Then I replied to a comment from my cousin about their lunch.

I had a breakdown. Then I posted 20 photos of my cat and called it 'payment for therapy.'

Someone who lets Facebook take the place of real therapy because they're too dumb to know the difference.

I posted a 500-word essay about my life. No one read it. I still cried about it.

I replied to a comment from my neighbor instead of talking to my therapist.

I had a fight with my dad. Then I posted a picture of my dog and called it 'a lesson in life.'