Facebook Friend Massacre

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You go on Facebook and start deleting people like they owe you money, even if they didn't do anything wrong.

I just defriended my ex and their new boyfriend. Both of them at once. No mercy.

My cousin tried to message me. I ignored it. Then I defriended her. Then I blocked her.

I had 500 friends. Now I have 5. I don’t know why I did it. I just felt like it.

You log on to Facebook and start deleting people like they’re your worst enemy, and you don’t care if they notice.

I saw my old math teacher. I defriended her. Then I posted a picture of her with a mustache. It was a crime.

My mom tried to friend me again. I said no. Then I defriended her. Then I changed my profile picture to a cat.

I defriended my entire high school class. I don’t know why. I just felt like it.

You go on Facebook and start deleting people like it’s a game, and you’re trying to beat your high score.

I defriended 200 people in one night. I got a message: ‘Why?’. I said, ‘Why not?’

I deleted my old gym buddy. He said, ‘What’s wrong with you?’ I said, ‘Nothing. I’m just having fun.’

I deleted my old boss. Then I posted, ‘I’m free. I’m happy. I’m not coming back.’

You log on to Facebook and start deleting people like they’re your worst nightmare, and you don’t care if they get mad.

I deleted my ex. Then I posted a picture of him with a beard. It was a masterpiece.

My old friend texted me: ‘Why did you delete me?’ I said, ‘Because I wanted to.’

I deleted my old neighbor. Then I put a ‘delete’ sticker on my wall. It was a statement.

You go on Facebook and start deleting people like it’s a sport, and you’re the champion.

I deleted my college friends. Then I posted, ‘I’m the king of defriending.’

I deleted my old coworkers. They messaged me: ‘Why?’ I said, ‘Because I felt like it.’

I deleted my entire family. Then I posted, ‘I’m free. I’m happy.’