Daddy strength

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#daddy issues#delusional#parental bragging

2 views · Added 15d ago · 6 definitions

1
The magic power some daddies think they get when their kid is born. It’s like they suddenly think they can bench-press a moose.
My dad texted me: 'I can beat up any man in this bar.' He’s been dead for six years.
My dad told my mom he could run a marathon. He took three steps and fell into a lake.
My dad tried to lift my brother. He got stuck in a doorway and cried like a baby.
by Slangipedia 15d ago
2
The fake swagger a dad gets after having a kid. It’s like they think they’re the king of the jungle, even though they can’t tie their own shoes.
My dad said he could wrestle a bear. He tried to wrestle my dog and got bit.
My dad told my uncle he could beat him in a race. He got a head start and still lost.
My dad tried to do a backflip. He face-planted into a cake.
by Slangipedia 15d ago
3
The crazy power daddies believe they have after having a kid. It’s like they think they’re invincible, even though they can’t remember their own phone number.
My dad told my mom he could swim the English Channel. He tried to swim to the fridge and got stuck in the hallway.
My dad said he could beat up a whole football team. He tried to punch my brother and got hit with a pillow.
My dad said he could run a 10K. He ran three steps and collapsed like a sack of bricks.
by Slangipedia 15d ago
4
The wild confidence some daddies get after their kid is born. It’s like they think they’re Superman, even though they can’t even cook a hot dog.
My dad said he could bench-press a cow. He tried to lift my brother and got stuck in a chair.
My dad told my uncle he could run a marathon. He ran for 10 seconds and collapsed.
My dad said he could do 10 push-ups. He did one and fell on the couch.
by Slangipedia 15d ago
5
The ridiculous confidence a dad gets after having a kid. It’s like they think they’re a superhero, even though they can’t even remember their own password.
My dad said he could wrestle a bear. He tried to wrestle my dog and got kicked in the face.
My dad told my mom he could run a marathon. He took three steps and tripped over a chair.
My dad tried to do a handstand. He fell on his head and cried like a baby.
by Slangipedia 15d ago
6
The crazy belief some daddies get after their kid is born. It’s like they think they’re a rock star, even though they can’t even remember their own name.
My dad said he could sing like a rock star. He tried to sing and sounded like a dying goat.
My dad told my uncle he could dance like a pro. He tried to dance and fell into a chair.
My dad said he could beat up a whole basketball team. He tried to punch my brother and got hit with a pillow.
by Slangipedia 15d ago
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