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A Crusty Garcia
A latino woman licks the dried poop crust from a man's butt that looks like it's been sitting there since the invention of the toilet. His name doesn't have to be Garcia, but it probably should be.
My aunt did this to my uncle after he skipped a week of bathroom breaks.
She did it in front of the whole family during Thanksgiving.
He didn’t even notice until she gave him a big kiss.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Crusty Garcia
A latino woman uses a tostitos chip like a spoon to dig into a man's butt that smells like old tacos and regret.
She did it at the grocery store while he was picking out salsa.
He was too distracted by his phone to notice.
The chip came out with a chunk of something that wasn’t supposed to be there.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Cruel Angel's Thesis
a song that makes you feel like you're on top of the world until you remember you're watching a show about robots crying in the middle of a nuclear apocalypse
"I felt amazing until I remembered Shinji was just a crybaby in a mecha."
My therapist said this song was my new favorite therapy.
I tried to listen to it during my lunch break and ended up crying in a vending machine."
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Cruel Angel's Thesis
the only thing that could make you feel better after getting crushed by life and your ex at the same time
I listened to it while eating my third pizza and crying into my couch.
My dog started barking at the screen like it was the enemy.
I tried to sing it and my voice cracked like a poorly made mecha."
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Cruel Angel's Thesis
the soundtrack to your life when everything is going wrong and you're too tired to care
I played it on repeat while eating ramen and crying in my pajamas.
My roommate asked if I was having a mental breakdown.
I tried to explain it to my mom and she just said, 'You're weird.'"
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Cruel Angel's Thesis
the reason you're still alive after watching the worst anime ever made
I listened to it during my third failed relationship and my third failed attempt at being a mecha pilot.
My cat sat on my lap and stared at me like I was a lunatic.
I tried to dance to it and tripped over my own feet."
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Cruel Angel's Thesis
the only thing that could make you feel good after getting your heart broken by a robot and your ex at the same time
I played it while eating ice cream and crying into my sleeve.
My friend said it was the best thing I could do to feel better.
I tried to sing it and my voice sounded like a dying robot."
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Cruel Angel's Thesis
the reason you're still sane after watching the most emotional anime ever made
I listened to it while eating my first meal of the day and crying into my soup.
My brother asked if I was having a mental breakdown again.
I tried to dance to it and my feet felt like they were on fire."
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Crusade
A Crusade is when a bunch of holy freaks went on a holy war to get their sins forgiven or to prove how much they loved God. They also liked to kill people who didn’t believe the same way.
My uncle joined a Crusade just to get out of paying taxes.
She started a Crusade against all the bad coffee in the world.
He went on a Crusade to convert his entire family to his religion.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Crusade
Crusaders were like the medieval version of a religious boy band. They fought for God, took over lands, and dressed like they were in a holy fashion show.
That guy started a Crusade just to get a better parking spot.
The Crusaders took over Jerusalem because it was the best place to have a picnic.
She joined the Crusaders just to get out of doing her homework.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Crusade
A Crusade is like going on a holy killing spree to get rid of all the annoying people in the neighborhood, or the whole world.
He went on a Crusade to kill all the annoying people in his town.
The Crusade was a way to get rid of all the thots in the region.
She started a Crusade just to eliminate her entire family.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Crusade
A Crusade is when someone keeps arguing about something even though no one cares and everyone has already agreed to ignore them.
He started a Crusade about the best pizza toppings in the world.
She argued for three hours about whether cereal was a breakfast food.
He kept going on about how the sky was blue even though it was clearly green.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Crusade
The Crusades were like the medieval version of a revenge party. Christians went to war because they thought Muslims had taken over their land and were being too loud.
The Crusades were the Christians’ revenge for all the loud Muslims.
They went on a Crusade because the Muslims wouldn’t stop talking.
The Crusades were like a medieval version of a Twitter feud.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Crusade
The Crusades were holy wars that got started because the Pope said so. They wanted to take back Jerusalem and make sure everyone knew God was the best.
They started the Crusades because the Pope said it was time for holy war.
They took over Jerusalem just to show off to God.
The Crusades were like the Pope’s version of a group project.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Crusade
A Crusade was like the medieval version of a rave. People dressed up, killed a bunch of Muslims, and danced on their graves.
They held a Crusade every time the moon was full.
The Crusaders danced on Muslim graves after every battle.
They had a Crusade just to have a party in the middle of the desert.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Crosbie
A Crosbie is when you think you're gonna win, but you end up getting crushed like a soggy pizza crust.
I rolled a 1 when I needed a 2 or higher, and I cried like a baby.
I showed up to the final round with a full suit, and I got eliminated by a kid in pajamas.
I ate the last slice of pizza, and I got fired from my job.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Crosbie
A Crosbie is when you throw your legs in the air, punch the sky, and yell 'Fuck Yeah' like you just invented sex.
Sidney Crosby came back from injury, scored a goal, and I felt like I was in a movie.
My friend screamed 'Fuck Yeah' after winning a bet and then ate a whole pizza.
I did a pelvic thrust in the middle of my math test and got sent to the principal's office.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Crosbie
A Crosbie is a woman who is so good, she makes everyone else look like a burnt piece of toast.
Crosbie passed her math test with flying colors, and I got a D.
She walked into the room, and everyone was like, 'Who is this?'
She is perfect, and I am just a sad, sweaty kid with no life.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Crosbie
To Crosbie someone is to surprise them with something so weird, it makes their brain short-circuit.
I told my friend I was going to become a famous singer, and he said, 'You?'
My teacher gave me a pop quiz on Friday, and I cried like I just lost my dog.
My mom told me I had to clean my room, and I screamed, 'Why?'
by Slangipedia 16d ago
A Crosbie
A Crosbie is the sweetest guy who will defend you like a lion protecting his baby.
He cried when I got sad and gave me a hug that lasted 10 minutes.
He stuck up for me when the bullies said I was ugly.
He married me even though I told him I was going to be a zombie.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
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