Pagemasturbate

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When you jerk off thinking about a book character, especially if they're hot and you're not.

I pagemasturbate every time I read about Harry Potter. I just want to punch Draco in the face and marry Hermione.

My math teacher pagemasturbates to the main character of The Hobbit. He cries when Gollum loses the ring.

I pagemasturbate to Katniss. I don't care if she's in a deadly game. I just want her to save me from my mom.

Using a book to get off, mostly because you're too lazy to actually find a real person.

I pagemasturbate to Sherlock Holmes. I don't need a detective, I need a lover.

My sister pagemasturbates to the main character of The Hunger Games. She screams when he gets eaten by a beast.

I pagemasturbate to Frodo. I just want him to carry my problems, not the ring.

Getting yourself off by imagining a book character. It's like cheating, but with words.

I pagemasturbate to Romeo. I don't need a balcony, I need a date.

My dad pagemasturbates to the main character of The Odyssey. He doesn't care about the Cyclops, he just wants to be home.

I pagemasturbate to Hermione. I don't care if she's smart, I just want her to be my girlfriend.

You get yourself off by thinking about a character in a book. It's like having a one-way conversation with a fictional person.

I pagemasturbate to Harry. I don't need a wand, I need a date.

My friend pagemasturbates to the main character of Percy Jackson. He yells at the monster and then goes to sleep.

I pagemasturbate to Katniss. I don't care if she's in a deadly game. I just want her to be my girlfriend.

Getting yourself off by thinking about a book character. It's like a book made you cum.

I pagemasturbate to Sherlock Holmes. I don't need a detective, I need a lover.

My mom pagemasturbates to the main character of The Little Mermaid. She sings and cries every time.

I pagemasturbate to Harry. I don't need a wand, I just need a date.