Pagemasturbate - You get yourself off by thinking about a character in a book

You get yourself off by thinking about a character in a book. It's like having a one-way conversation with a fictional person.

I pagemasturbate to Harry. I don't need a wand, I need a date.

My friend pagemasturbates to the main character of Percy Jackson. He yells at the monster and then goes to sleep.

I pagemasturbate to Katniss. I don't care if she's in a deadly game. I just want her to be my girlfriend.